Saturday morning, I made myself sleep in. I knew that if I didn't, I'd sit around all day, antsy for the evening to come. If I slept late, I figured that I'd at least have less of the day to contend with.
I woke up at 9:30 and made breakfast for myself. Eggs, cheesy hashbrowns, and orange juice filled me up, and I picked up one of the selections that had piled up on my bookshelf over the last few months. I bought books like they were an addiction, without real thought as to when I would have time to read them. My 'to read' list consisted of a few classics that had somehow never made their way into my library before, but most of the pile was comprised of modern authors: Kazuo Ishiguro, Neil Gaiman, Chuck Palahniuk. I picked up Dry, by Augusten Borroughs, curled up on the couch under a thin blanket, and allowed myself to get lost in his autobiographical fiction for a few hours.
When I paused in my reading, stretching my legs and arms and moving to the kitchen to get myself a drink, I thought of Rose and Edward and my recent decision to see them both independently.
I knew this situation was tenuous at best. It was dependent on them not telling each other anything about our individual relationships, and on me being able to keep them a secret from one another all the while. Twinges of fear hit me at odd moments, but I ignored them, certain that I was just being paranoid. They didn't want one another to know they were seeing me, so I didn’t see any reason why one would confess to the other.
There was something quietly offensive about that to me, but I shrugged it off because I couldn't exactly pinpoint what bothered me about it.
I pulled a Coke from the refrigerator and sipped it as I stared out of my window from my kitchen and fingered my phone in my pocket.
"Oh, shit," I mumbled to myself. "Damn!"
I flipped open my phone and realized what day it was. May 10th. I needed to make plans for Emmett's birthday.
Lightning quick, I used speed dial to get him on the phone. It rang three times before his voicemail picked up.
"It's Emmett. Leave a message, and I'll call you back," his recorded voice played in my ear.
"Em, It's B. Was wondering if you wanted to get coffee next weekend or something. Call me back," I replied, and closed my cell, shoving it back into my pocket.
It was nearly one, so I made myself a simple lunch - a turkey and Swiss sandwich with chips - and ate as I read a bit more. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge as well, draining it quickly.
It was early, but I decided to go ahead and take a shower. I knew I'd hear from my brother eventually and that we'd likely talk for a bit, and I didn't want to have to rush him off the phone when he called. I picked out a set of matching underwear - black lace with small ribbons tied at the hips of the panties and the center of the front of the bra - and stripped as I stood in my room, debating between whether I should wear pants or the skirt I’d originally decided on that night when Edward picked me up.
Underwear in hand, I walked to the bathroom and showered. As I massaged my scalp, I remembered my lunch with Edward again and how he'd felt with no barrier between our bodies...his hands...his voice. Without meaning to, I snapped my eyes closed and slid my hand down my stomach before stopping myself.
I could wait.
Tonight.
The thought of being with Edward again sent a trill through my spine, and I couldn't help but giggle out loud as I continued cleaning myself up. I used my favorite body wash, a clean, fresh scent, and my shampoo, which smelled very vaguely of raspberries, and then turned the water off once I'd rinsed myself thoroughly.
I snagged my robe from its hook on the wall and wrapped it around my shoulders as I stepped out of the tub. I pulled on the admittedly very small panties and then heard my phone ringing from my bedroom, so I pulled the robe closed, tied it at my waist, and rushed to pick it up with my bra in hand, certain it was Em.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Bells. What's up?" my brother asked.
I shook my head, though I knew he couldn't see me. "Nothing. I was calling to see if you wanted to do coffee next weekend since you're getting old and shit," I teased. "I mean, you think you can handle that? Or is the caffeine too much for an old man like you?" I continued, a broad smile on my face.
He laughed, and I could see his dimples in my mind's eye. "Yeah, I think I can hang. I mean, I'll give it my best effort," he finished in a serious voice.
"Glad to know you haven't given up on life," I replied, and then started laughing myself. My brother was twenty-six, nowhere near old, but we just liked to rag on each other sometimes.
"Where did you have in mind?" he asked. "You wanna try somewhere new?"
I shrugged and held the phone between my shoulder and ear as I picked up the lotion I intended to slather all over my body as soon as we hung up. "I don't care, Em. You pick. It's your birthday. I also have a little something for you, so don't give me shit about it, alright?"
Neither of us enjoyed having a big deal made of our birthdays. We'd much rather spend the day with family and friends, and I wondered idly if he would barbecue like he had last year. As if he'd heard me, he said, "Cool. I'm not going to barbecue this year because I have shit to do that day, and I don't feel like rushing around, but coffee and some time with my sister sounds like a plan. Doing anything tonight?"
"Actually," I started, pausing for effect, "I have a date."
"Ooooh, well watch out world. Let me know how it goes, B. I've gotta run."
I smiled. "K. Bye, Em. Love you."
"Love you, too, Bells. Later."
He hung up, and I tossed my phone and bra onto the mattress near me. I untied the robe, letting it fall to the floor, and rubbed the lotion over my whole body, from my shoulders all the way down to my feet, before putting my bra on and walking to my dresser. I grabbed a t-shirt and flannel pajama pants, slipping into them before going to my closet. I pulled my skirt off of the hanger it was on and folded it over my arm as I knelt down to get my shoes as well. Finally, I stood up and snagged my shirt. I placed them all on my bed and walked back to the living room, where I checked my email and turned my iTunes on shuffle, allowing whatever to play.
I picked Augusten's memoir back up, my mind more at ease now that I was ready to get dressed when the time came. Before I knew it, it was six o'clock, and I'd succeeded in finishing the book in one afternoon.
I stretched and put it back on my shelf and smiled to myself.
Two hours.
I walked to the bathroom and straightened my hair so that it hung in long layers down my back. Then, I put my make up on, carefully applying just slightly more than I wore on a daily basis. As I appraised my face in the mirror, I realized it had been forty-five minutes, and I needed to book it.
My phone was flashing from its place on my bed, so I checked my texts.
See you soon.
Three words, and I was grinning like an idiot.
I can't wait, I replied honestly, and put my phone on one of my nighstands so that I could get dressed.
After selecting a pair of thigh highs from a drawer, I pulled them up my legs and secured the lacy tops with a simple black garter belt made of sheer material with dainty bows over the clasps. Then, I dressed in my skirt and my new asymmetrical red shirt, stepped into my shoes, and looked in the mirror as I toyed with pulling half my hair back. When I was satisfied with my appearance, I walked to the back of my closet and selected a coat, just in case the weather turned cooler. I grabbed my black leather purse with golden studs around the seams, and then I tossed it and my coat on the bed near my phone.
Finally, I put on my black teardrop earrings and a set of metal bangles, packed my purse with my ID, debit card, and cell phone, and took a moment to breathe, letting my eyes drift closed with a smile.
Just then, there was a knock at my door.
I smiled, walking out of my room, and when I opened the door, I nearly melted into a useless fucking puddle of goo at the sight before my eyes.
Edward stood in my doorway, running a hand haphazardly through his hair as he smirked at me. He was wearing a stone gray wool suit with flat front trousers and a dark blue, patterned tie over a crisp, white shirt. The gray and blue against his skin and coppery hair was enough to make me catch my breath, and I murmured a hello as he stepped into my flat. "You look beautiful," he said softly.
"So do you," I replied with candor. He smiled and leaned in, kissing me gently on the cheek. "Ready?"
"Shouldn't I be asking you that, Bella?" he asked. "You might want to bring a coat; it's getting cool out."
I smiled and held up a finger before rushing to my room. I picked up my purse and coat, meeting him back near the doorway. "Let's go," I said with a grin. "I"ve been waiting for this all week."
We were in the elevator talking softly, and when we stepped outside, he said, "I rather enjoyed Tuesday, Bella." I shot him a sideways look and smirked as he said, "This is me."
When I saw his car, I was speechless for the second time that evening.
It was silver like his Volvo, shining under the lights of the street lamps, but it was sleek and beautiful, and as my lips parted to ask what kind of car it was, he supplied, "It's a Maserati Gran Turismo."
I hadn't been able to place the car based on what it looked like, but the name Maserati was one I recognized as a very expensive vehicle. "Jesus, Edward, you drive a Maserati for fun?"
He looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Bella, I drive a Volvo by day. I can afford this."
"No, I know...it's just...gah."
He chuckled as he opened the passenger side door and gestured for me to get in. "We better get going, Bella. The band comes on at 8:15, and I'd like to be seated and have a drink in hand by that time."
I nodded once, took my black leather seat, holding my purse and jacket in my lap as I watched him move gracefully around the front of the car. Edward sat down and turned the key in the ignition, and the car was so smooth, I could scarcely hear it. Some acoustic guitar music filtered through the speakers, and we began to small talk again as we headed down the street in the direction of Speakeasy.
"Just a moment, Bella," he said, pulling out his phone. I nodded, and listened as he made a phone call. "Yes, it's Edward Cullen. I'll be coming in this evening...yes, on the way now." There was a pause. "I trust our normal table is available? Good then. Yes, goodbye."
He flipped the phone closed and continued driving, and I nearly shook my head. I forgot sometimes that this was Edward Cullen, son of Carlisle, celebrated philanthropist, and general Golden Boy of Chicago. Of course he would have a regular spot at the most exclusive club in the city.
"We'll valet," he said.
"You'll let someone else drive this beautiful thing?" I asked.
He smiled over at me as he put his car into park. "Ah, so you do like it," he replied. "I'll get your door."
While he walked over to me, I debated and then threw my coat into the small backseat of his car. Edward opened the door, I took his hand, and we walked in, arm in arm. He merely glanced at the doorman, who nodded and stepped back from the entrance to allow us room to pass.
When we were inside, every head whipped around in our direction - not at me, apprising him. He nodded politely around the room, smiling at a handful of faces he must have recognized
It hit me then that I was experiencing what life was like for Edward every day. Living life in front of the entire population of Chicago must have been exhausting, and I made a mental note to tell him I thought so.
"The table is this way," he said softly, leading me forward. We walked to a booth that was set back from the stage, with three full walls on either side, affording much more privacy than any other table in the room. The seat was made of soft brown leather and the table of an ornate marble. Edward pulled me in front of him and had me take my seat first, and then slid in next to me. Just as we were seated, a tall, blonde girl appeared at our table.
"What can I get you?" she asked.
"Scotch with a splash of water, please," Edward replied. "Bella?"
"A pomegranate martini?" I asked, and the girl quickly disappeared.
Quiet jazz music began to play, and I finally noticed that the band had taken the stage, and a saxophonist was playing the introductory notes to John Coltrane's "India."
I turned my body to face Edward and smiled. "So, you had questions," I said.
He nodded. "I did indeed."
"My favorite day of the week is Sunday, for two reasons. First, my brother and I usually spend hours and hours wandering through museums or the zoo. Second, it's the only day that I can just veg out and be a total goddamned couch potato without feeling like I should be doing something productive. The scar on my thigh came from falling into broken glass when I was a kid. One of the larger shards cut me open, and I had to have stiches. It's y-shaped because I pulled my thigh away from it and then had to move again, dragging my leg back against the damn thing a second time." I paused as the waitress handed us our drinks and disappeared again.
Edward looked expectant, and I said, "My greatest fear is being what I consider a failure, and I honestly don't know what my biggest regret would be."
"And the place you most want to visit, so I can take you there?" he asked, taking a sip of his drink. The matter-of-fact tone in his voice caused an eruption of butterflies in my stomach, and I tried to ignore it as I answered him.
"Probably Australia," I replied.
He nodded in approval and then held his glass up. "To tonight," he toasted.
I clinked my glass against his and took a sip of my cocktail. Coltrane gave way to Roy Hargrove, and we each had a second cocktail before Edward asked, "Would you dance with me, Bella? This is ’Trust‘, and it's one of my favorites."
I nodded and slid across the table, following Edward as he moved to stand.
A shock of guilt coursed through me over the name of the song. Trust. I considered that I had plans with Rosalie for the very next day. Trust. Even now, I had absolutely no plans of canceling with her. Trust. I could see the desire in Edward's eyes as he extended his hand toward me, and the happiness he felt in being out with me, in public, just the two of us.
Trust.
I decided to trust my instincts. I wanted to be there, with him. Anything that happens before or after tonight shouldn't matter, I thought to myself. I need to be here, in this moment.
I took his hand and stood up, feeling only slightly weak on my feet. He led me to the dance floor just as the upright bass player began to pluck a steady, repetitive rhythm. There were several couples dancing, and Edward maneuvered us easily around the other duos, finally stopping right at centerstage. His right hand grasped my lower back while his left hand's fingers twisted into my right's. I placed my left hand at the back of his neck, and he began to gently sway us to the soft, slow tones of the song.
For five-and-a-half minutes, we spun together, our eyes never leaving one another's until he leaned down, pulling my body closer to his as he whispered in my ear.
"You are absolutely stunning, Isabella," he said, before placing a gentle kiss on my throat just below my ear.
Chills erupted all over my body, and it took me a second before I could respond. "Thank you," I finally whispered back.
"It's true.” His breath ghosted across my skin, bringing a shiver of anticipation as we lingered there for a moment before he stood, raising his voice. “Let's go back to the table," he suggested, and I hooked my arm in his. We walked together, and I looked around the club for the first time as we moved.
The walls were a deep honey color, which played off the dark wood of the bar and tables nicely. In typical jazz club style, one wall was covered in framed photos - likely acts that had played at Speakeasy through the years. The floor was stained concrete, a dark color as well, and the performers on stage were only elevated about two feet, making it so that the band could easily make eye contact with the audience.
The bar was fully stocked, a wall of every liquor imaginable, with at least ten taps for various beers lining one side wall.
It was gorgeous, and the waitstaff and bartenders were all clad in black from head to toe.
Edward and I slid back into our seats, and I sipped the final bit of my martini. "Edward, tell me something about yourself," I requested.
He looked thoughtful for a moment and then smiled. "I always wished I had a brother or sister growing up." He paused and took a moment to swirl his scotch around in his glass. "Also...I've always preferred brunettes."
He winked at me. Fucking winked.
My breath caught, and he snickered at me. "Bella, are you breathless over a wink? Think of everything else we've done..."
A montage of scenes swam in the back of my mind, but I shook my head. "It's different...one-on-one. I feel... I don't know. Is it different for you, too?"
He grew serious, and the way his eyes darkened was obvious even in the poor lighting of the club. "You have no idea," he replied simply, taking a swig of his drink.
The waitress was back. Edward nodded at her, and she was gone. Within moments, a new martini was on the table in front of me and a new glass of scotch was waiting for him.
"Tell me something about Emmett," he requested.
I grinned. "Emmett is the best brother ever created," I said, not caring if it appeared that I was gushing. "He's supportive and smart, and I just really friggin' want him to find someone worthy of him," I finished.
He nodded curtly. "I can relate," he said, and suddenly, I felt awkward and one hundred shades of nervous because I knew he was referring to Rosalie.
"Have you talked to her?" I asked vaguely.
Edward took a deep breath and shrugged. "Not much. We're...taking some time to figure things out on our own."
I nodded, busied myself with drinking my martini, and diverted my eyes to the table. Edward sipped his drink, draining the last of his first glass while his fingers drummed to the rhythm of the band, which had switched to Miles Davis' "Freedie Freeloader."
I bit my tongue against the urge to pry for more information about Rosalie. For whatever reasons – reasons they had yet to let me in on – they had decided to sever our relationship as a trio, and it was at their request that we were now keeping secrets. I wanted to just blurt it out, get it out in the open, but I…didn’t. I was probably being a spoiled brat, but I liked not being the only one in the dark for once. So I swallowed my questions and my comments about Rose and focused on Edward.
We talked some more, getting to know one another as time flew by, and finally, Edward eyed his watch. "It's 11:30, Bella. What do you say we have one more dance and then get out of here?"
I nodded and downed the last of my fourth cocktail. "Sounds good to me," I replied, and slid out of the booth, following him again.
When I stood, I felt a tiny bit loopy and realized I was just this side of tipsy, so I waited for a moment to steady myself. "I'm sorry," I said, looking at him apologetically. "Four isn't usually so...impacting. They must have been stronger than I'm used to," I finished.
He smiled down at me. "Well, they do serve only top shelf here, Bella, so perhaps we'll have to get you accustomed to this place, hmm?"
I smiled at him, and he led me to the dance floor once again, this time to the tunes of a Billie Holliday song I knew, and I found myself singing along as I leaned my head against Edward's chest, my eyes closed. We spun slowly with the music, and I felt but did not hear him exhale. He murmured something, and when I looked up, meeting his eyes with mine, he only smiled gently at me and pressed his lips to my forehead softly.
The song ended, and we grabbed my things and walked to the valet station. Edward handed the ticket over and Riley - the same kid who worked with me at the magazine - smiled up at me. "Hi, Bella," he said shyly. "I'll get your car right away, Mr. Cullen."
"You know him?" Edward asked, curious.
I nodded. "That's Riley," I replied simply. At Edward’s raised eyebrow, I added, “He works with me. You know…Riley.” I grinned when I saw the realization dawn in his eyes – we’d talked about Riley and his minor crush on me during one of our many evenings with Rosalie.
Edward chuckled and said, "Then I'll give him a generous tip for letting you out this evening."
I laughed in response, and then the car was there, and as we drove away, leaving Riley stunned at the fifty dollar bill in his hand, I looked at Edward. "Thank you for tonight. It's been wonderful," I said.
He shifted gears and coasted through a yellow light.
"Is it rude of me to presume you wouldn't mind returning to my house?" he asked, his eyes never leaving the road.
I swallowed thickly, all warming effects of the alcohol suddenly gone as a new kind of heat took their place. "No," I said softly in response.
"Good," he said resolutely and turned the car left, in the direction of Cullen Condominiums.
It had only been a few days since I'd seen Edward's complex, but in the dark of night, swaddled in the intentions surrounding our evening, it was different somehow. I swallowed hard, suddenly anxious, as Edward pulled into his garage. I could hardly pay attention to anything, so when he opened the door and held his hand out to take mine, I moved blindly, clutching at his forearm lightly before shaking my head and standing up.
This is ridiculous, Bella, I chided myself. Stop freaking out.
Damien smiled as I walked in with Edward. "Hello, lovely lady," he called out, and I laughed, finally breaking the tension I'd been feeling.
Edward and I stepped into the elevator, and he pressed the button for his floor before leaning against the back wall and gesturing to me. "Come here, Bella. Please."
I obeyed, silently stepping in front of him so that my hips were just in front of his, my legs between his. Edward's hands slid into my hair at the nape of my neck, and he pulled my lips toward his. As I stretched upward just slightly, he kissed me. It started off soft, lazy almost, as though he were trying it on for size, but then I slid my hands around his waist and pressed my body to his, and he groaned against my lips.
I felt his fingers adjust as the elevator moved upward, his right hand tightening into a fist as his left slid down my arm and then onto my hip, holding me tight against his chest. His tongue was still coated in scotch, so the woodsy flavor infiltrated my mouth when he slipped between my lips. I hummed appreciatively and felt his thumb slip into the waist of my skirt...
...and then the fucking elevator sounded, letting us know we'd arrived at his floor.
I growled as I pulled away, and Edward chuckled. "Let's go, Bella," he said softly, never removing his hand from the small of my back. We walked together to his doorway, and when he opened it, he pushed it inward with a quiet, "Ladies first."
I stopped in his kitchen, waiting for him to lock the door, and when he met me, he gestured toward his bedroom, asking that I follow him.
When we arrived, he looked sheepish. "I may have purchased a few things for you. I...hope you don't mind."
I raised my eyebrows at him and then followed him into his expansive closet.
"I didn't know your preferences..."
There, on a shelf, were several pairs of pajamas. It seemed as though he'd gone into Victoria's Secret, said he needed to buy lingerie for his girlfriend, and then bought everything the employee recommended. There were silk pajama pants and cotton tank tops, terrycloth shorts, as well as yoga pants. "Edward, you could have asked me what I slept in," I teased.
"I didn't want to be presumptuous, Bella."
I gave him a pointed look and replied, "Yes, because buying an entire wardrobe of sleepwear is anything but presumptuous," with a smile.
"Point taken," he said before sidling up behind me. I felt his fingers on my hips and his breath warm on my neck as he whispered in my ear, "Are you saying you don't like any of it? You could sleep in the nude, you know..."
His voice trailed off as he took my earlobe gingerly between his teeth.
"I will if you will," I said, breathless. My eyes closed as I leaned back against his shoulder.
"Did we really plan on sleeping, Bella?" Heat erupted all over my body, and I whipped around to face him.
"Fuck," I gasped before nearly attacking his mouth with mine.
We kissed, hot and heavy, for a minute before I said, "Go sit on your bed. I want to do something."
He quirked an eyebrow at me but listened, and I followed him as he walked back into his room. I watched as Edward settled into the mattress, shedding his jacket and loosening his tie before toeing out of his shoes.
"Edward." I said his name roughly, my voice suddenly thick with desire as I stared at him, all disheveled and sexy.
He snapped his eyes to meet mine, and after staring at one another for a few seconds, I leaned over, removing my shoes slowly. I placed them on the floor to my right side before standing up to my full height. I pulled off my coat and then bangles, and placed the items as well as my purse on a small table near me.
"Bella, come here, please," he said again, but I shook my head.
Instead, I unzipped my skirt in response and then pulled my shirt over my head, letting it fall to the floor near my feet. I let him stare at me, his eyes roving over the lace of my bra before I slipped my fingertips inside the waistline of my skirt and pushed it down, over my hips.
I stepped out of it and stood still, watching as Edward's lips parted and he focused in on my garters.
"Oh, Jesus, Bella, please come here," he breathed, and this time, I moved toward him.
As soon as I was near him, his fingers we moving up and down my thighs, teasing as they ghosted over my breasts, and finally, I wrapped my arms around him and pushed backward so that he was laying on the mattress. I crawled onto the bed, straddling him, and felt him already ready, hard against my inner thigh.
"Do you want me?" I asked coyly, and he sat up quickly, his lips on mine. Before I even knew what was going on, his nimble fingers had unsnapped my bra, and he was pulling it over my arms. When he tossed it over my shoulder, I glanced toward it for a millisecond, and suddenly his mouth was on my skin, licking and sucking at my nipple as his hands worked the garters in an attempt to remove them.
"Bella," he said, finally lifting his lips from my skin. "Do you know how long I've wanted you just like this in my bed?"
"Show me," I whispered, and he moved abruptly. I was on my back, my garters unsnapped, and I watched Edward stand up and undress quickly, throwing his shirt, slacks, and undershirt haphazardly to the floor.
He crawled on the mattress, and when I was within his reach, he pulled my stockings down my legs. His fingers left my skin tingling, and I found myself aching for him already. Five days had been too long; I needed the release that only he could give me. I wanted him to touch me, his mouth on me...I wanted everything. He mumbled, "Bella, take your underwear off," and I did. Edward took them from me and dropped them over the side of the bed, and before I could move any further, his hands pressed my thighs into the mattress, and his tongue was sliding along my slit. I wanted to move my hips, but his grip on my legs was such that I couldn't, so I gasped his name instead.
"Edward...God."
My hands clutched at the sheets - new, I presumed. They were sage and made of about a million thread count, but before I could take note of any other detail, his tongue began to encircle my clit, and my hands moved immediately to his hair.
"Baby, slow down, please," I begged between breaths. "We have all night, right?"
I felt him laugh lightly against my sensitive skin, and after one last pass with his tongue, he began to move up my frame. His lips traipsed slowly over my hips and thighs, stopping to gently kiss my belly button. Edward brought his hands up my sides, caressing me gently, and it felt so fucking good.
"Bella, I want you every moment of every day. Can you understand that?" he asked, and then lowered his lips to my breast again.
I moaned quietly, my back arching toward him. "Yes," I answered, and he looked me in the eye.
"Good," he said softly.
"Let me touch you," I requested, and in response, he smiled and moved to lie next to me, his head on the same pillow.
I took him in my hand after rolling onto my side, but before I began to move, I asked, "Edward, why didn't you ever let me...I mean, before that night with..." I bit my lip, trailing off as I found myself unwilling to bring Rosalie into Edward’s bedroom on our first night alone together.
He sighed, his jade eyes focused on mine. "Bella, it was too much. I knew it made you wonder what was wrong when I didn't let you..."
"Swallow," I provided.
He continued. "I knew it made you feel...strange...but would it make sense if I said it was too much? It was too intimate. I know I'd been inside of you, and that we shared this voyeuristic...thing...but letting you take me into your body like that...it just wasn't alright with me, not when I was sharing you with someone else." I felt a flash of indignation at the implication that Rose had somehow been an intruder. We had entered the relationship together – all three of us – and I resented the thought that she had been in the way.
As quickly as the thoughts entered my mind, I forced them away again. Enjoy this night with Edward. As if to remind myself, I looked into his eyes – vulnerable jade blending with passionate malachite - and I felt the resentment melt away.
He paused. I nodded, said, "I can understand that," and started to move my hand up and down his hard length. I spread the liquid that was at his tip with my thumb, using it as a natural lubricant, and as my hand began to work him, he clamped his eyes closed, and I heard a throaty groan begin in his chest.
"Bella..." My name came out of his mouth in a single gasp, and I moved down the mattress and took his head between my lips. I ran my tongue around its perimeter and felt the muscles in his hips contract in response. "Bella, I don't want...I...Fuck. Stop for a second," he said.
I pulled my lips away from his skin and looked at him expectantly. "I'm sorry," he said, "I just...can't form a coherent sentence when you're doing that." He reached down and grazed his fingers over my chin. "Please, Bella, let me be inside of you again."
I kissed the plane of his lower abs once, moving upward and making sure to pay attention to his nipples. "You can be inside of me anytime you want, Edward. Do you hear me?" I whispered in his ear, when my lips reached throat.
Edward growled and pushed me so that I was on my back again. My knees were on the outside of his hips, almost straddling him, and with one hand, he balanced himself over me. With the other, I felt him slowly press himself into me.
Once again, the feeling of Edward with absolutely nothing between our bodies was almost too much. I arched my back, letting him push that much further into me, and as he said my name lowly, I whimpered. "Oh God, so good," I managed, and then he started to roll his hips, moving so slowly, I could scarcely stand it.
His other hand pressed into the mattress near my head, and as I wrapped my legs around him, he lowered his lips to mine, kissing me softly, his tongue probing my mouth. Our tongues intertwined, and he adjusted his speed, increasing it as time went on.
He moved easily in and out of me, and all too soon, I felt a familiar heat developing in my hips. My nerve endings were rapid-firing, and I wasn't sure I could handle anymore when, suddenly, I fell into a million pieces.
My orgasm shot through me, causing my toes to curl and my hips to buck as my back arched. My hands found their way into Edward's hair, and I gasped into his ear, repeating his name over and over again.
I felt him move inside of me just as I was beginning to come down from my release and watched as his jaw clenched, his teeth grinding as he finished.
"That was..." My voice faltered. I had no words.
"I know," he said with a sigh.
He rested against me for a moment, our chests heaving as we worked to catch our breath. He kissed me gently, his lips alighting on my chin, my cheeks, the hollow of my throat, before they finally settled on my lips. He smiled against them before lifting himself away.
Edward pulled out of me, and I almost pouted that he did. "I'll bring you a towel, Bella," he said. "And if you'll let me know which pajamas you prefer..."
I smiled. "Yoga pants and a tank top, actually."
"Perfect," he answered, and then I was alone, all post-coital and blissed out. As I listened to Edward moving in the bathroom, I thought of the way he and Rose had always taken care of me – always – which is why it had been such a shock when they’d both abandoned me. I swallowed thickly, not liking the direction my thoughts were heading.
I closed my eyes, trying instead to memorize the way Edward's hands felt on my skin. A small grin had just appeared on my lips when I felt a plush towel press into my hand. "Here you are. I'll be back," he murmured, and then, while he walked to the closet to pull my pajamas out, I cleaned myself up.
After using the cloth, I rolled over and stood, walking around the room and gathering our clothes. I had just pulled my panties on when he stepped out of the closet. I shot a small smile at him and turned over my shoulder, trying to find my bra, wherever it had landed.
A moment later, his arms were around me, one hand gently contoured to my breast. "You're so beautiful this way. Are you sure you want these?" He lifted the hand holding the pajamas - black yoga pants and a pale blue tank top - and smiled as I looked into his eyes.
"Unless you're sleeping naked, I'm wearing them," I replied with a wink.
"Fair enough," he said, nodding. "Do you need anything? Water, maybe?"
I nodded. "Water would be good."
He disappeared again, and I got dressed. The clothes were cottony soft, and I loved the way they felt on me. I folded my shirt and skirt over the back of a chair and also laid my stockings and garters there. I folded Edward's clothes as well, leaving them in a neat pile on the small table. Then, I walked to the bathroom and rinsed my face before crawling under Edward's amazing Egyptian cotton sheets.
I giggled to myself as I realized he was walking around naked, and it was at that moment that he reentered the room.
"What's funny?"
"Nothing, really. I just...realized you were walking around with no clothes on," I answered.
He smiled down at me and handed me a bottle of water. I took three long swigs and then placed it on the nightstand nearest me. "I'm remedying that now," he said. Edward walked to the table and pulled his boxers on, quickly making his way back to me in his bed.
His body immediately contoured to mine, and he kissed the back of my head. "Thank you," he whispered.
"No, thank you," I replied. "This evening has been...perfect."
"I'm glad," he said in response. "Good night, Bella."
"Good night, Edward," I answered, and within moments, I fell asleep.
It was the first night I slept with Edward wrapped around me.
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