ThePhoenixRiddle

Exposure Chapter 10 - The Weakness in Me

2010-01-22T05:30:00.000-08:00

I woke up on my own, sunlight peeking through the parted slats in the vertical blinds gently prodding me until I opened my eyes, and the first thing I saw was a crazy mass of auburn hair just inches from my face.

It was nearly ten AM, and I thought about the night before as I watched Edward sleep for a minute.

Classy jazz club followed by fanfuckingtastic sex and some damn good sleep.

I smiled as I watched him. His lips twitched just slightly as if he were smiling, too, and then he sighed, snuggling into his pillow.

He was really thoughtful – and obviously generous, if the sleepwear wardrobe he’d bought me was any indication. Though the fact that he didn't know my preferences regarding sleepwear was a definite reminder that we really didn't know each other well, I had hope that we could get to know one another better over the coming weeks.

The evening had been slippery, in ways, because there had been several times I wanted to point out that I hadn't found Rosalie to be an intrusion, that I actually missed the times we spent as a trio, but I knew it would cause unnecessary, angsty discussion, and I just... well... to be honest, I just didn't care to talk about it when we were having such a good time.

And then he'd pulled me to him in the elevator and, really, I'd had tunnel vision after that.

In the morning light, with a perfectly clear memory in spite of the alcohol I'd imbibed, I could see that it had been a wonderful evening even with those minor frustrations, and while it would have been nice to lounge around all day in my new pajamas, I had things to do and had to get going.

I contoured my hand along Edward's shoulder and shook him lightly. "Edward," I whispered.

He stirred, furrowing his brow slightly as he stretched his arms forward beneath the blankets, his fingers immediately finding my hips and pulling me to him. "Morning, baby," he mumbled, and as his clean scent and the heat of his body surrounded me, my heart stuttered at his use of such a casual pet name for me.

"I have to go," I said lowly as the ends of his hair tickled my nose.

His eyes opened, revealing chartreuse and forest green, surprisingly shiny in the morning light. "Oh. Plans today?" He lifted a hand from my hip and rubbed his eyes.

I nodded. "I have some errands to run, and I have some things to do tonight as well," I replied vaguely.

"Can I at least make you breakfast, Bella? It's the least I can do," he said softly, running his fingertips along my jaw.

For a moment, I allowed myself to imagine staying, spending a lazy day, letting him bring me breakfast in bed…it could be so good. But then I thought of Rosalie, of her slender arms wrapping around me as she whispered to me quietly, of the musical sound of her laughter, and of the way her eyes brightened when she looked at me. My resolve to see her tonight was suddenly intense and heady, and I realized at once that I needed her just as I needed him.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I really have to get going," I answered, moving forward and kissing him gently on the lips.

He faked a pout and then smiled at me. "Well, alright. Why don't you just wear your pajamas home? I don't want it to look like you're doing the walk of shame when Damien sees you leave."

We laughed together, and I crawled out of the warm shelter his blankets provided.

I stood near the table where my things were and smiled as I realized all I had were my black heels. When I said as much, Edward replied sheepishly, "There are slippers in the closet, too, Bella." I grinned.

"I suppose you've thought of everything," I commented, and he shrugged, his bare, tanned shoulders in stark contrast with the lighter sheets.

"I tried," he said.

"You succeeded." I walked into his closet, slipped the shoes onto my feet, picked up my clothing, and moved to sit on his side of the bed.

"Can I give you a ride home, Bella?" he asked, and I remembered I didn't have a car.

"No, I'll call a cab. You relax." I leaned down and captured his bottom lip with mine, and he moaned quietly against my lips. "Bye, Edward," I said when I sat up. "Call me later, okay?"

"Of course, Bella," he replied. "I'll just be around here today, so if you decide you want some company..."

His voice trailed away, and I grinned. "Thanks for the offer. I'll keep that in mind...Edward?" His tired green eyes met my gaze. "Thanks for a wonderful evening."

Something passed behind the color of his irises, and an almost imperceptible grin appeared on his lips. "Anytime, Bella. Anytime."

I stood up, squeezed his hand, and walked through his flat to the doorway before taking the elevator downstairs. Thankfully, Damien was away from the front desk, so I placed my pile of clothes on the counter and pulled out my cell phone, calling a local cab company.

Luckily, there was a driver in the area, so within three minutes, I was on my way home.

When I got home, I and pulled on a clean pair of pajama pants and a tank top, and then threw a load of dirty clothes in the washing machine. Thoughts of Edward were fleeting, really, because I had a phone call to make.

"Hello?" She sounded tired, as though she'd been asleep when I called, but I knew better. She always woke up at six o'clock on the dot, even on weekends, and it was nearly eight her time.

"Mama! Happy Mother's Day!"

"Oh, hello, Bella! Thank you!"

I grinned as I listened to the constant sound of something rocking back and forth on her end of the line. "Pottery this early, Mama?"

"Your father said I should spend the day doing what I want. I want to make a vase," my mother replied simply. I could see her sitting there, her foot moving rhythmically back and forth as she molded the clay with her hands. She would have a bandana tied around her forehead to keep her hair away from her face, and I knew Dad was probably making something delicious for breakfast.

"Where's Dad?" I asked, awaiting confirmation that I had been correct in my assumption.

She grunted and uttered a low curse. The clay had probably collapsed in on itself, meaning she had to begin again. "He's out, actually. No breakfast this morning, apparently."

Her voice had that distracted quality, proof that she was officially in another world, and I grinned. "Well, Mama, you're busy, but I just wanted to call and wish you a great day. I'm sure you'll hear from Em in a little while."

"Yes, thank you, baby. I really appreciate the call. Should I tell your daddy hello?"

I smiled. "Of course! Love you, Mama."

"I love you, too, Bella-Bear. Bye now."

I flipped my phone closed and walked into my bedroom, where I glanced at the clock. It was 10:15, and I was scheduled to meet Rosalie around noon. As I walked, I had a brief, silent argument with myself about whether or not to take a shower. I knew that within a couple of hours, I would be coated in massage oil and would have to take another shower before I left the spa anyway, but I just couldn’t meet Rosalie without feeling clean and putting in a little bit of effort.

I shoved my hair up into a messy knot atop my head and stepped into the shower, washing myself quickly. The fragrance of my body wash put a quiet smile on my face, helping me relax as I shaved my legs. When I turned off the water and got out to dry myself off, I felt well-rested and content. I dressed in my robe and made my way to the kitchen, deciding to make myself a small lunch.

I put a bagel in my toaster oven and pulled out the cream cheese so that it wouldn’t be fully refrigerated when the pastry was warmed up, and then I walked to my closet to pack a small bag.

I pulled out a pair of jeans and a white tank top as well as a dark green, zip up hoodie and folded them all neatly before placing them into my small duffel bag. I grabbed a pair of socks, fresh panties, and a bra, too, along with an oversized towel and a washcloth from my bathroom and my shampoo and conditioner.

By the time I'd finished packing the few things I wanted to take to Urban Oasis, the toaster oven beeped, letting me know the bagel was ready for me to chow down. I picked out a pair of socks and my tennis shoes, taking them with me as I went to eat my snack. After setting them in a chair, I spread the cream cheese on my bagel and put the container away and poured myself some apple juice. I ate it quicky as I mentally determined the driving time to North Avenue and Sheffield.

It would take me twenty minutes to get there, and I needed to give myself time to find parking, though Rose had advised that there was a really convenient lot at the spa that discounted parking once you validated your ticket. It was a special little benefit they offered their clientele, and in a city like Chicago, where parking could cost an arm and a leg, I thought that was a pretty fantastic perk.

By 11:15, I had pulled my shoes and socks on as well as a jacket and had moved my few necessary items into a small clutch, which I threw into my duffel as I headed out the door. I listened to Emmett's mix CD again as I drove, and as I turned onto North Sheffield, I gawked at the gorgeous glass building I'd be meeting up with Rose in.

It was tall and topped with an atrium floor, where Urban Oasis was actually situated. I turned into the lot on Sheffield and grabbed a ticket from the guy in the booth. He informed me that I would have to pay when I left, and when I mentioned that I was there as a client for the day spa, he simply nodded. "No worries, ma'am. You bring me your receipt, we'll give you a four-dollar discount. Have a good one, okay?"

I smiled and nodded as I drove away, easily finding a parking spot on the second floor of the lot.

As it turns out, I stepped off of the elevator at precisely noon, and the first thing I saw was an administrative assistant of sorts, seated behind a counter in the front room. She had her hair in a neat bun, held up with two clear fashion chopsticks, and a light dusting of make up on. The woman was wearing a black wraparound shirt with an Asian neckline, and it showed off the delicate structure of her collar bone and the narrowness of her shoulders. Her eyes were almond-shaped and an odd shade of greenish blue. Behind her was an opaque glass wall, which kept the activities in the spa from being visible to the waiting clientele.

She's pretty, I thought to myself, and realized that I had just checked her out. She was the first woman aside from Rosalie whom I'd looked at that way. But she's nowhere near my Rose.

"Hello," she said cheerfully. "Can I help you with something?"

I nodded as I approached the counter. I placed my hands on the flat surface before me and said, "Yes, actually. I have an appointment now, with Rosalie Hale?"

She nodded. "Ah, yes. Miss Hale is already here, waiting inside the spa. You're Bella Swan?"

"I am," I replied.

She wrote a time near my name on a book that sat before her on the counter and smiled. "Please, go right ahead. You'll have a locker; Miss Hale rented two, so she'll have the key for you."

"Thank you," I said, and quietly moved around the counter behind the opaque wall, and there she was.

Rose was sitting in a chair, her bare legs crossed before her, with a thick, plush robe wrapped around her body. Her long, blonde hair was pulled up in a messy knot like mine, and her eyes were focused on a magazine.

I allowed my eyes to move up and down her frame, taking in her long, shapely legs and her full lips before I greeted her. "Rose."

She stood up, her eyes bright and excited, and walked to me. When she reached me, I felt her slender arms wrap around me, and I breathed her in. She smelled so good; it was a mix of freshly washed clothes and a light floral lotion, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the scent. While her arms were around me, I shifted my body to kiss her, and felt a strange sense of awkwardness as she moved her face away from mine so that my lips caught her cheek instead of her lips.

"I..." I attempted to say something, but she cut me off gently.

"How are you, Bella?"

Before I could answer, she lifted her hand, casually brushing a strand of hair away from my face and behind my ear, and that was all it took to make me remember how viscerally I had always responded to Rosalie.

With a simple brush of her hand, I felt my skin warm, and I was positive that a faint flush crossed my cheeks. I wanted her to touch me again, wanted to feel her skin beneath my palms. I needed her, somehow, any way, and I was suddenly confused because her casual touches seemed so easy, so distant.

I wanted to crawl into her lap and taste her mouth with my tongue. I wanted to dip my fingertips inside of her body again, taste her there, as well, and she could so easily touch me, it was disconcerting. I wondered if perhaps I had misconstrued her words when she asked to see me, but then her eyes grew mischeivious as she softly said, "Let's go get you naked, shall we?"

I gulped and nodded. I followed Rose as she walked down a hallway and pushed open a light brown door which lead to a locker room. We walked past the blockade that gave the room privacy, and Rose led me to a pair of lockers. "This one is yours," she announced, handing a key to me. "Once you're undressed, we'll go to our Hot Stone Massage."

I took a chance.

"You could undress me," I whispered, my eyes downcast.

"I could, couldn't I?" she replied, lifting my chin so that I faced her. "But I won't."

I couldn't lie. The disappointment that coursed through me was almost ridiculous; I felt absolutely rejected despite the fact that we were standing in a locker room that anyone could walk into at any moment, and I was about to mumble some nonsense about perhaps canceling this date when Rosalie slipped her hand behind my ear, nestling it gently into my hair.

"Do you think I don't want to, Bella? There's nothing further from the truth." I stepped toward her then, brushing my lips across hers, and she hummed. "We'll be here all day if you start that, Bella Swan," she whispered against my lips before moving a step or two away from me. "Get undressed, and we'll go get our massage. I promise it will be wonderful."

I nodded, smiling as I did, and pulled open the door to the locker. It was larger than I thought, and I hung my jacket up first before beginning to talk with Rosalie, who stood there, her eyes flitting from my body to the empty space in the room as I disrobed. A smile slowly curved my lips when I realized she was having a difficult time keeping her eyes away from me, and I teased her just a bit, taking a little longer than necessary. After that, she kept her eyes averted as we talked about the fact that I had never had a massage, and that we would be in a shared room, with two masseuses working on us for the next half hour, as well as how work had been for her and for me. I explained the magazine and how I was responsible for a team of interns, and she congratulated me, her eyes focused on the bench before me as I pulled the robe that had been hanging in my locker around my shoulders, allowing it to cover my bare shoulders, breasts, and panties.

"Are you going to look at me?" I asked softly.

She turned her head toward me at last, and I could practically feel her eyes as they glided down my form. It felt good to know that she was looking at me, drinking me in. The vibrant blue of her eyes darkened slightly before she shifted her gaze to meet my eyes, and the desire I could have sworn I saw mere seconds before was nowhere to be found. "Let's go," she requested, and reached out to take my hand in hers, leading me out of the locker room as soon as I locked my things up.

Her hand felt good in mine, soft and petite, and again, I was struck with how easy it was to just be with Rosalie. My mind was wholly in the spa with her, and I couldn't help but smile as I felt her squeeze my palm gently as we stepped into the room. Two tall, lithe, European-looking women stood there.

"Hello. We'll give you a minute," one of them said, and then they stepped quickly from the room, leaving us as quiet ambient music played.

Without hesitation, Rosalie slipped the robe from her shoulders, and for the first time in weeks, I saw her body, bare with no covering, and I felt heat begin to grow between my legs. Her stomach was thin and toned, and her panties were a pale yellow, low rise, and had a mini lace trim that went from the top of her hips to the base of her pelvis. There was a pale blue plaid laid over the yellow, and I couldn't stop staring at her gorgeous underwear, despite the fact that her breasts were uncovered and perfect as usual.

I shook my head, lifting myself from my Rosalie stupor, and pulled the robe from my shoulders. I hung it on a hook on my side of the room and stood for a moment, determining how best to climb onto the table. As I stood, I could feel her gaze again, heat rolling over my skin, and was suddenly happy that I'd worn sexy underwear myself. My panties were blue lace hip huggers.

I glanced at Rosalie, and she was already situated on the table with the towel tossed over her hips. I moved to climb onto the table, and just as I had the towel in position, there was a light knock at the door.

The women came back in, and after a quick explanation, began to place the hot stones across our shoulders and the muscles of our backs. Initially, it was uncomfortable, but after as time passed with the constant manipulation of my masseuse's fingers, I felt the pressure and heat the stones provided begin to melt knots and strain away from my muscles.

It was fantastic.

The only problem was that I couldn't get Rosalie off of my mind. The knowledge that she was lying there, naked except for a pair of cheeky little panties and a goddamn towel, was almost too much. I wanted to touch her, to have her touch me in more ways than the innocent ones she had given me since we'd gotten together today. I wanted to feel her softest skin on my tongue.

God, I need her. Now.

The massage therapist moved down my back, and by the time thirty minutes had passed, I felt a strange mix of relaxed and intensely frustrated; relaxed because the massage had done its job, frustrated because I needed to touch Rosalie, and the wetness that had developed at the apex of my legs as I thought about the things I could do to her was almost too much. Through it all, Rosalie and I talked quietly, just getting to know one another better. I learned her favorite color, her favorite foods, and her least favorite movie. I also learned that she had often considered quitting the real estate game for good, and that she had no real relationship with her parents. I told her I thought that was sad, but she only replied, "Meh. They weren't the most supportive people in the world. I'm better off."

As the women slipped from the room, signaling the end of our joint massage, I realized I had no idea what was next for our spa day. Part of me wanted to just ask for her to take me into a room and fuck me senseless, but I was pretty positive that was not what Rose had in mind.

When the door was securely closed, Rose and I sat up, climbed down from the tables, and grabbed our respective robes from the wall. "What's next?" I asked, crossing invisble fingers for another joint activity. Despite the insane lust I was feeling for her, I really had enjoyed spending time with her in conversation; I wanted to keep it going.

"Well, I'm going to try an introductory Reiki class, but I thought you might like a Salt Glow. I love them."

I pouted at her. "We're not going to be together for the next sessions?"

She smiled and walked across the room from me. "No, but we'll get together after, okay? I didn't mean to keep us apart, Bella, I just didn't think you'd be interested in Reiki."

I sighed. "You're right. It's not really my thing, but..." I wanted to say something else, but I faltered when I tried to find the words. "I just really like being here with you, Rose," I finally said.

She crossed the room, and as she ran her finger along my jaw, she said, "The feeling is mutual, B. Like I said...we'll do something later, I promise."

I nodded, temporarily assuaged, as we went in to two different rooms for our next treatments.

For the next half hour, I was in some mild form of hell.

The woman must have wondered what on Earth was wrong with me, but I couldn't adequately explain it to her. How could I say that everytime she rubbed my skin, exfoliating my body, I wanted her hands to be Rose's, and I wanted the context to be something completely different. I was aroused, still, and the fact that Rose was elsewhere and we were apart was enough to make me groan at least twice in the half hour session.

I looked at a clock when she was done, and my skin felt soft and perfect as I ran my palm along my forearm. Rose's Reiki class would probably last forty-five minutes, which meant I needed to fill about ten minutes before she'd be out.

I sighed, wrapped the robe further around myself, and headed out of the room and to the private room in which I would be taking what the spa called a "Rain Shower."

When I arrived, I instantly understood what they meant. The showerhead was well above my head, so that when the water fell from it, I was fully beneath it. The sensation of the water dripping down my skin would, no doubt, feel like heaven, and I smiled, thankful that Rosalie had spoiled me with this trip.

I turned the water on, testing it, and when I found a suitable warm temperature, I stripped down, leaving my robe and panties on the floor as I stepped into the overly large stall. The water flowed over my skin in refreshing rivulets, only enhancing my body's feeling of relaxation.

"Mmmm," I hummed appreciatively, as I closed my eyes and lifted my hair with my hands, ensuring that it was wet so that I could easiliy wash it. Instead of using the shampoo and conditioner I'd brought, I used the brand that was provided by the spa. It smelled like a light breeze, and I knew that after my hair was rinsed, it would still retain some of that lovely scent.

I left it in my hair long enough to quickly wash my body, and when I lifted my hands a second time, holding my rinsed hair in my palms, I suddenly felt lips brushing the back of my shoulder. "I tried, Bella, I did. I tried to be good..."

Rosalie moved across my back, kissing me beneath the rain shower, and I turned to face her, stepping backward and away from the water's flow. "Why?"

Without a word, she walked toward me. Water cascaded over her hair and shoulders, causing long strands of her hair to fall from the messy knot she'd been sporting all day. When my back was to the wall, she kissed me full on the mouth, and I groaned. She tasted sweet and felt so exquisite.

I searched blindly with my hands, looking for something to grab on to, and my left hand found a small towel rack. My fingers wrapped around the bar as Rosalie moved down my body, tracing her tongue along my collar bone.

My breathing grew heavier as she moved still lower, and when she knelt before me, I felt a pang of something I couldn't label. "Oh, God, Rose, you know I want you to, but that can't be comfortable..."

I couldn't stand the idea of her being in pain like that; I could imagine the way the tile felt against her knees, and was just about to say so when she slipped her fingers and palm around my thigh, pulling gently at my leg. I lifted it without thinking further, and when she neared me, placing my thigh over her shoulder, I inhaled sharply.

The first stroke of her tongue against my skin made me moan loudly, and I managed to say, "Oh, fuck, Rose. Yes," before she continued.

The feeling of her mouth on me for the first time in so long was indescribable, and as I arched my neck, pressing my wet hair into the tiled wall, I felt hyperaware of every sensation that was creeping over me. Rose slipped her tongue further along my slit, and when she moaned against my skin, I nearly lost my composure.

With my leg balanced perfectly on her shoulder, both of her hands were free, and she covered my left hand with her right in a simple, tender motion as the fingers on her free hand slipped into my entrance, teasing me over and over again as her tongue massaged my clit in perfect rhythm.

"Oh, God. Rose. Rose, Jesus." I was mumbling incoherently, my eyes clamped closed as she continued to explore my body with her fingers and tongue.

I looked down at her, finally, and found her cerulean eyes focused on my face, lust and sheer want the only thing evident in them. I lowered my right hand and ran my fingers along the hairline behind her ear, and she closed her eyes momentarily, enjoying my touch, it seemed, as much as I was enjoying hers.

Rose pressed her tongue one final time against my clit, and I felt muscles tighten as I found my release. I moved my hips, pushing with slightly more pressure against her mouth, and she continued to lick and suck at me until my body finally calmed, my muscles finally relaxing.

Slowly, she slid her thumb beneath my leg and lifted it from her shoulder, lowering it to the floor in gentle movements as I regained my composure.

"Rosalie. Rose, that was... Here, sit down. I'll..."

But she cut me off again as she moved to stand under the water, rinsing her face, body, and hair with a satisfied smile. "No, Bella. I wanted to. I felt I owed you a little bit of goodness."

I handed her the shampoo and was struck by how normal it felt to be standing in a shower, talking to Rosalie. In spite of our nakedness, and the fact that I wanted to taste her more than ever, it was just... really natural.

She lathered the product in her hands, rubbing it into her scalp as she did, and I spoke. "But, Rose...I want to," I replied, my voice lower than normal.

Suddenly, I remembered the first night I was with her, when she'd attempted to deter me from going down on her. I'd refused to listen, and when I'd been able to bring her to orgasm with just my tongue that night, I'd been oddly proud.

Her eyes were closed as she ran her hands through her hair, washing the shampoo down the drain, and I took advantage of the situation. I stepped nearer to her and ran my palm down her torso, beginning with her left breast. I moved down her stomach slowly, and finally, pressed my first two fingers into the softest part of her body.

Her eyes flew open in apparent shock, and I murmured against the skin of her throat, the water from the shower running over both of our bodies. "I want to, Rosalie. Please let me."

Her fingers curled around my wrist as I continued to caress her skin, and when I looked at her face, there was a war going on there. Conflict raged across her beautiful features as she whispered, "God, I want you...but...if...sec-..." Her voice cracked as I swept my fingers over her clit, and she appeared to lose all of her resolve to tell me no. "Fuck, Bella. Yes, let's go."

We finished quickly, rinsing our bodies one last time before stepping out of the shower. As she stood there before me, her petite feet on a bathmat and her skin dewy, I allowed my eyes to rove over her form, slender and curved in all of the right places. I could almost taste her on my tongue already.

I shook my head and reached into my bag, first slipping into the panties I'd brought and then my jeans and top. As I was putting my socks and tennis shoes back on, I smiled as I took note of Rosalie's casual wear. Even on a Sunday, she was the epitome of classy. She wore a pair of fitted jeans and a pale blue cashmere cap sleeve sweater that set off her eyes fabulously. Her hair, still wet, was swept up into a knot on the back of her head, and she pulled on a black, fitted leather jacket before slipping her feet into a pair of slip on, black Pumas.

"Ready?" she asked, the absolute picture of demure.

I nodded, and she turned to step out of the private bath. "Wait," I called out quietly, and by the time she turned around, I had slung my bag over my shoulder and covered the distance between us. Without any further words, I kissed her, my lips moving softly but insistently as she took a step backward, probably bracing her hand on the wall behind her for support.

I felt her free hand slide into my hair, and she smiled against my lips. When I pulled away, I said, "Now, I'm ready."

She looked at me, her eyes bright, and then laughed for a moment, clearly surprised by how forward I was being.

As I followed her to the parking lot, memories of our first night came flooding back again, and I thought about how that night, it had been she who pushed me against a wall after we walked through a parking lot. I could distinctly remember her lips and the way her fingers grazed over my hip as the elevator moved between floors.

Now, just a number of weeks later, I still wanted her that badly, but I was the one taking charge.

We split up when we reached our parking level, and I followed her to her condo. It was bigger than mine and smaller than Edward's, and as I thought of him for the first time, really, all afternoon, I felt some of the same emotions begin to surface as I had the night before. I actually shook my head quickly, as though to remove him from my thoughts, and focused on Rose.

My beautiful, sweet, thoughtful, intelligent, unbearably sexy Rosalie.

We stepped into her condo, and the first thing I noticed was that she'd rearranged the furniture.

"You moved the couch," I observed. "I like it. It makes the space look bigger, somehow, where it's at."

She nodded, her eyes focused on her living room. Her hand reached out absentmindedly, and she ran her fingertips along the back of my hand. At that slight contact, I reacted, curling my own fingers around hers and pulling her to me. After an afternoon of talking to Rosalie, she'd only become more attractive in my mind, and I was effectively out of patience.

"Kiss me, Rosalie," I commanded softly, and she complied, her warm lips moving in sync with mine as I began to walk backward, my hands on her hips and her tongue slipping between my lips, toward her bedroom.

I felt my ass hit the corner of the wall at her room's entrance, and when I cried out, she pulled her mouth away from mine with a soft, "Oh, are you alright?" Her eyes were shockingly vulnerable as she looked into mine.

I nodded, and then we both laughed. It was light and airy, and felt...natural. It felt comfortable to be here with her like this, and I really liked it.

"Yes, I'm fine. Come here, please." On my last three words, I heard my voice lower a half pitch, and the softness that had just been in Rosalie's eyes lasted only a moment more, as she spoke.

"Bella, you don't have to do this... I don't want you to feel l-"

I cut her off. "Rosalie Hale, get your ass over there on that bed, or I'll drag you."

She lifted one perfectly arched eyebrow and smirked at me, and it felt a little like the wind had been knocked out of me.

Jesus, she's gorgeous.

Rose walked past me, and when she reached her bed, she paused, waiting for me. I followed her and when I was standing near her, I yanked my shirt over my head, dropping it to the floor. She moved to begin to undress, but something in me switched, and I wanted this time we were about to share to be all about her.

"Wait!" I covered her hands with mine and placed them at her sides. "Let me."

She nodded almost imperceptibly and lifted her hands. I watched as she pulled her hair down, its blonde strands darker thanks to the dampness from our shower. After her long locks fell down her back, she lifted her arms above her head, and I grinned at her before pulling her shirt over her shoulders and dropping it near our feet.

Then, I lowered my hands, unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans, and allowed her to kick her shoes off before stepping out of her pants. I made quick work of my own clothes, leaving them in a messy pile on Rosalie's floor. She moved to sit down, but I gently grabbed her elbow. "Wait," I said, a little less insistently.

She looked at me, her ocean eyes dark and full of yearning - for me.

I grazed my lips along her collar bones and her stomach. I kissed the place where her hips splayed just slightly. I ran my hands down her legs, removing one sock at a time. Before I stood up, I pulled mine off as well, and then she realized I was undressing her like she had me our first night. I found that I really wanted to make this special for her, and she smiled at me.

"Lie down," I commanded lightly, and she did.

Her feet were flat on the mattress, and I put my hands on her knees, spreading them as I made room for myself. I hooked my fingers into the waist of her underwear and whispered, "You don't need these."

I watched as she swallowed, the muscles in her throat contracting lightly, before I removed the undergarments that were in my way.

It had been a long time since I'd seen Rosalie like this, and I kissed the inside of her thighs before gently placing my tongue against her skin. She hissed at the first contact, and when I moved upward, she actually moaned. "Oh, God, Bella..."

I kept moving up and down, gathering proof of her arousal on my tongue and lips. It felt so good to have this kind of effect on her, and when I lifted my mouth and began to gently massage her clit with my tongue, she began to pant softly, murmuring my name and other words I couldn't discern.

I pulled away from her, and she huffed lightly. "Don't worry, Rosie, I'm not done," I replied, and she closed her eyes as I pressed two fingers into her body, moving them in a smooth, small circle as she began to shift her hips against my hand.

I lowered my mouth again, sucking and nipping at her gently, my fingers caressing all the while, and a short, strained noise came from her chest when I felt her finally release. She arched her back, and I lifted my face, watching as she slowly came down, her face and arms and abdomen relaxing inch by inch.

"Bella," she said softly. "That was..it was..."

"I know." I lifted my body and kissed the flatness of her lower stomach before stepping off of the bed and moving toward her bathroom. Once I arrived, I grabbed two washclothes from the cabinet and rinsed my face and hands. I dried myself off and walked back to Rose, handing her a cloth as I climbed over her.

I slipped beneath her sheets despite the fact that it was five in the evening and allowed her a moment to clean herself up. Once she had tossed her washcloth into the dirty clothes hamper and pulled on a clean set of underwear and a tank top, she crawled in next to me.

"Thank you," she said.

I shook my head as I rolled over onto my stomach. "You're welcome, Rosie," I answered, pressing my head into the pillow and placing my hands beneath it.

The last thing I felt as I lay there was the tips of Rosalie's fingers drawing random circles on the bare skin of my back and her sheet bunched up around my waist.

I woke up three hours later to the smell of something cooking, and when I realized I'd fallen asleep and she'd allowed me to rest there, I thought she was exceptionally sweet. I dressed slowly and walked out to the kitchen. She'd pulled on a pair of loungewear pants and was padding around barefoot, putting food away. "Hey you," she said, "I saved you some. It's in a little dish in the oven."

I grinned and grabbed a pot holder from the counter as I pulled the oven open. There, in a small Corningware dish, was a a portion of freshly baked chicken. I pulled it out, balancing the small dish over my palm with the pot holder, and Rose said, "Oh! Here, before I put it up."

She served me a few heaping spoonfuls of sauteed green beans, carrots, and sliced squash, and I sat down to eat. We talked casually again, our conversational topics varying from work to Rosalie's thoughts about the way our spa day had gone, and I told her Emmett's birthday was the next weekend.

"Oh, about next week," she began, sipping from a glass of water. "Do you want to come out with me to Texture? It's probably my favorite dance club, and one of my favorite deejays is playing."

"You like deejay music?" I asked, a look of mock horror on my face.

She laughed. "Shut up, you. He plays this crazy mix of old hip hop and random '80s music, and then he'll throw in a little rock just because. It's kind of amazing, and he never, ever tours, so I wanted to go. It's on a week night, but I thought I'd ask. You don't have to..."

"I would love to," I replied. "I'll forego sleep that night, I suppose.” I smiled in response to the happy expression on Rosalie’s face, but then I glanced at the clock and sighed. “And on that note, I have to go."

She sighed. "Ah, yes. Work, bright and early Monday morning. I had a good time, Bella. A great time. Thank you."

I smiled and leaned across the counter toward her. I kissed her and took her bottom lip between mine softly. When we parted, I walked away quickly and grabbed my bag. She accompanied me to the door, and I felt her eyes on me as I walked down the hallway toward the elevator.

Chapter 9

Master Post: Exposure

2010-01-06T19:07:00.000-08:00

Title: "Exposure" by ThePhoenixRiddle

Genre: Twilight - Angst / Romance
Characters: ExBxR, ExB, RxB
Details: AH, AU, OOC, Slash
Rating: MA/NC17
Warnings: Strong Language, Sexual Content,
Status: Work In Progress

Summary: When Bella meets Edward and Rosalie, they have an interesting proposition for her. It was supposed to be one night only. What happens when no one wants it to end? ExBxR, ExB, BxR, AU/AH. Part One of The Photographer's Series.

Banner By: SorceressCirce

~+~+~

CHAPTERS

1. Would?
2. Fumbling Toward Ecstasy
3. Electric Feel
4. Talk
5. The End is the Beginning is the End
6. What the Hell Have I?
7. Edge of Desire
8. The Pretender
9. If I Fell
10. The Weakness in Me

OUTTAKES

Chapter 1: EPOV
Chapter 4: EPOV
Chapter 5: RPOV

Exposure Chapter 9 - If I Fell

2009-12-30T20:40:00.000-08:00

Saturday morning, I made myself sleep in. I knew that if I didn't, I'd sit around all day, antsy for the evening to come. If I slept late, I figured that I'd at least have less of the day to contend with.

I woke up at 9:30 and made breakfast for myself. Eggs, cheesy hashbrowns, and orange juice filled me up, and I picked up one of the selections that had piled up on my bookshelf over the last few months. I bought books like they were an addiction, without real thought as to when I would have time to read them. My 'to read' list consisted of a few classics that had somehow never made their way into my library before, but most of the pile was comprised of modern authors: Kazuo Ishiguro, Neil Gaiman, Chuck Palahniuk. I picked up Dry, by Augusten Borroughs, curled up on the couch under a thin blanket, and allowed myself to get lost in his autobiographical fiction for a few hours.

When I paused in my reading, stretching my legs and arms and moving to the kitchen to get myself a drink, I thought of Rose and Edward and my recent decision to see them both independently.

I knew this situation was tenuous at best. It was dependent on them not telling each other anything about our individual relationships, and on me being able to keep them a secret from one another all the while. Twinges of fear hit me at odd moments, but I ignored them, certain that I was just being paranoid. They didn't want one another to know they were seeing me, so I didn’t see any reason why one would confess to the other.

There was something quietly offensive about that to me, but I shrugged it off because I couldn't exactly pinpoint what bothered me about it.

I pulled a Coke from the refrigerator and sipped it as I stared out of my window from my kitchen and fingered my phone in my pocket.

"Oh, shit," I mumbled to myself. "Damn!"

I flipped open my phone and realized what day it was. May 10th. I needed to make plans for Emmett's birthday.

Lightning quick, I used speed dial to get him on the phone. It rang three times before his voicemail picked up.

"It's Emmett. Leave a message, and I'll call you back," his recorded voice played in my ear.

"Em, It's B. Was wondering if you wanted to get coffee next weekend or something. Call me back," I replied, and closed my cell, shoving it back into my pocket.

It was nearly one, so I made myself a simple lunch - a turkey and Swiss sandwich with chips - and ate as I read a bit more. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge as well, draining it quickly.

It was early, but I decided to go ahead and take a shower. I knew I'd hear from my brother eventually and that we'd likely talk for a bit, and I didn't want to have to rush him off the phone when he called. I picked out a set of matching underwear - black lace with small ribbons tied at the hips of the panties and the center of the front of the bra - and stripped as I stood in my room, debating between whether I should wear pants or the skirt I’d originally decided on that night when Edward picked me up.

Underwear in hand, I walked to the bathroom and showered. As I massaged my scalp, I remembered my lunch with Edward again and how he'd felt with no barrier between our bodies...his hands...his voice. Without meaning to, I snapped my eyes closed and slid my hand down my stomach before stopping myself.

I could wait.

Tonight.

The thought of being with Edward again sent a trill through my spine, and I couldn't help but giggle out loud as I continued cleaning myself up. I used my favorite body wash, a clean, fresh scent, and my shampoo, which smelled very vaguely of raspberries, and then turned the water off once I'd rinsed myself thoroughly.

I snagged my robe from its hook on the wall and wrapped it around my shoulders as I stepped out of the tub. I pulled on the admittedly very small panties and then heard my phone ringing from my bedroom, so I pulled the robe closed, tied it at my waist, and rushed to pick it up with my bra in hand, certain it was Em.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bells. What's up?" my brother asked.

I shook my head, though I knew he couldn't see me. "Nothing. I was calling to see if you wanted to do coffee next weekend since you're getting old and shit," I teased. "I mean, you think you can handle that? Or is the caffeine too much for an old man like you?" I continued, a broad smile on my face.

He laughed, and I could see his dimples in my mind's eye. "Yeah, I think I can hang. I mean, I'll give it my best effort," he finished in a serious voice.

"Glad to know you haven't given up on life," I replied, and then started laughing myself. My brother was twenty-six, nowhere near old, but we just liked to rag on each other sometimes.

"Where did you have in mind?" he asked. "You wanna try somewhere new?"

I shrugged and held the phone between my shoulder and ear as I picked up the lotion I intended to slather all over my body as soon as we hung up. "I don't care, Em. You pick. It's your birthday. I also have a little something for you, so don't give me shit about it, alright?"

Neither of us enjoyed having a big deal made of our birthdays. We'd much rather spend the day with family and friends, and I wondered idly if he would barbecue like he had last year. As if he'd heard me, he said, "Cool. I'm not going to barbecue this year because I have shit to do that day, and I don't feel like rushing around, but coffee and some time with my sister sounds like a plan. Doing anything tonight?"

"Actually," I started, pausing for effect, "I have a date."

"Ooooh, well watch out world. Let me know how it goes, B. I've gotta run."

I smiled. "K. Bye, Em. Love you."

"Love you, too, Bells. Later."

He hung up, and I tossed my phone and bra onto the mattress near me. I untied the robe, letting it fall to the floor, and rubbed the lotion over my whole body, from my shoulders all the way down to my feet, before putting my bra on and walking to my dresser. I grabbed a t-shirt and flannel pajama pants, slipping into them before going to my closet. I pulled my skirt off of the hanger it was on and folded it over my arm as I knelt down to get my shoes as well. Finally, I stood up and snagged my shirt. I placed them all on my bed and walked back to the living room, where I checked my email and turned my iTunes on shuffle, allowing whatever to play.

I picked Augusten's memoir back up, my mind more at ease now that I was ready to get dressed when the time came. Before I knew it, it was six o'clock, and I'd succeeded in finishing the book in one afternoon.

I stretched and put it back on my shelf and smiled to myself.

Two hours.

I walked to the bathroom and straightened my hair so that it hung in long layers down my back. Then, I put my make up on, carefully applying just slightly more than I wore on a daily basis. As I appraised my face in the mirror, I realized it had been forty-five minutes, and I needed to book it.

My phone was flashing from its place on my bed, so I checked my texts.

See you soon.

Three words, and I was grinning like an idiot.

I can't wait, I replied honestly, and put my phone on one of my nighstands so that I could get dressed.

After selecting a pair of thigh highs from a drawer, I pulled them up my legs and secured the lacy tops with a simple black garter belt made of sheer material with dainty bows over the clasps. Then, I dressed in my skirt and my new asymmetrical red shirt, stepped into my shoes, and looked in the mirror as I toyed with pulling half my hair back. When I was satisfied with my appearance, I walked to the back of my closet and selected a coat, just in case the weather turned cooler. I grabbed my black leather purse with golden studs around the seams, and then I tossed it and my coat on the bed near my phone.

Finally, I put on my black teardrop earrings and a set of metal bangles, packed my purse with my ID, debit card, and cell phone, and took a moment to breathe, letting my eyes drift closed with a smile.

Just then, there was a knock at my door.

I smiled, walking out of my room, and when I opened the door, I nearly melted into a useless fucking puddle of goo at the sight before my eyes.

Edward stood in my doorway, running a hand haphazardly through his hair as he smirked at me. He was wearing a stone gray wool suit with flat front trousers and a dark blue, patterned tie over a crisp, white shirt. The gray and blue against his skin and coppery hair was enough to make me catch my breath, and I murmured a hello as he stepped into my flat. "You look beautiful," he said softly.

"So do you," I replied with candor. He smiled and leaned in, kissing me gently on the cheek. "Ready?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that, Bella?" he asked. "You might want to bring a coat; it's getting cool out."

I smiled and held up a finger before rushing to my room. I picked up my purse and coat, meeting him back near the doorway. "Let's go," I said with a grin. "I"ve been waiting for this all week."

We were in the elevator talking softly, and when we stepped outside, he said, "I rather enjoyed Tuesday, Bella." I shot him a sideways look and smirked as he said, "This is me."

When I saw his car, I was speechless for the second time that evening.

It was silver like his Volvo, shining under the lights of the street lamps, but it was sleek and beautiful, and as my lips parted to ask what kind of car it was, he supplied, "It's a Maserati Gran Turismo."

I hadn't been able to place the car based on what it looked like, but the name Maserati was one I recognized as a very expensive vehicle. "Jesus, Edward, you drive a Maserati for fun?"

He looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Bella, I drive a Volvo by day. I can afford this."

"No, I know...it's just...gah."

He chuckled as he opened the passenger side door and gestured for me to get in. "We better get going, Bella. The band comes on at 8:15, and I'd like to be seated and have a drink in hand by that time."

I nodded once, took my black leather seat, holding my purse and jacket in my lap as I watched him move gracefully around the front of the car. Edward sat down and turned the key in the ignition, and the car was so smooth, I could scarcely hear it. Some acoustic guitar music filtered through the speakers, and we began to small talk again as we headed down the street in the direction of Speakeasy.

"Just a moment, Bella," he said, pulling out his phone. I nodded, and listened as he made a phone call. "Yes, it's Edward Cullen. I'll be coming in this evening...yes, on the way now." There was a pause. "I trust our normal table is available? Good then. Yes, goodbye."

He flipped the phone closed and continued driving, and I nearly shook my head. I forgot sometimes that this was Edward Cullen, son of Carlisle, celebrated philanthropist, and general Golden Boy of Chicago. Of course he would have a regular spot at the most exclusive club in the city.

"We'll valet," he said.

"You'll let someone else drive this beautiful thing?" I asked.

He smiled over at me as he put his car into park. "Ah, so you do like it," he replied. "I'll get your door."

While he walked over to me, I debated and then threw my coat into the small backseat of his car. Edward opened the door, I took his hand, and we walked in, arm in arm. He merely glanced at the doorman, who nodded and stepped back from the entrance to allow us room to pass.

When we were inside, every head whipped around in our direction - not at me, apprising him. He nodded politely around the room, smiling at a handful of faces he must have recognized

It hit me then that I was experiencing what life was like for Edward every day. Living life in front of the entire population of Chicago must have been exhausting, and I made a mental note to tell him I thought so.

"The table is this way," he said softly, leading me forward. We walked to a booth that was set back from the stage, with three full walls on either side, affording much more privacy than any other table in the room. The seat was made of soft brown leather and the table of an ornate marble. Edward pulled me in front of him and had me take my seat first, and then slid in next to me. Just as we were seated, a tall, blonde girl appeared at our table.

"What can I get you?" she asked.

"Scotch with a splash of water, please," Edward replied. "Bella?"

"A pomegranate martini?" I asked, and the girl quickly disappeared.

Quiet jazz music began to play, and I finally noticed that the band had taken the stage, and a saxophonist was playing the introductory notes to John Coltrane's "India."

I turned my body to face Edward and smiled. "So, you had questions," I said.

He nodded. "I did indeed."

"My favorite day of the week is Sunday, for two reasons. First, my brother and I usually spend hours and hours wandering through museums or the zoo. Second, it's the only day that I can just veg out and be a total goddamned couch potato without feeling like I should be doing something productive. The scar on my thigh came from falling into broken glass when I was a kid. One of the larger shards cut me open, and I had to have stiches. It's y-shaped because I pulled my thigh away from it and then had to move again, dragging my leg back against the damn thing a second time." I paused as the waitress handed us our drinks and disappeared again.

Edward looked expectant, and I said, "My greatest fear is being what I consider a failure, and I honestly don't know what my biggest regret would be."

"And the place you most want to visit, so I can take you there?" he asked, taking a sip of his drink. The matter-of-fact tone in his voice caused an eruption of butterflies in my stomach, and I tried to ignore it as I answered him.

"Probably Australia," I replied.

He nodded in approval and then held his glass up. "To tonight," he toasted.

I clinked my glass against his and took a sip of my cocktail. Coltrane gave way to Roy Hargrove, and we each had a second cocktail before Edward asked, "Would you dance with me, Bella? This is ’Trust‘, and it's one of my favorites."

I nodded and slid across the table, following Edward as he moved to stand.

A shock of guilt coursed through me over the name of the song. Trust. I considered that I had plans with Rosalie for the very next day. Trust. Even now, I had absolutely no plans of canceling with her. Trust. I could see the desire in Edward's eyes as he extended his hand toward me, and the happiness he felt in being out with me, in public, just the two of us.

Trust.

I decided to trust my instincts. I wanted to be there, with him. Anything that happens before or after tonight shouldn't matter, I thought to myself. I need to be here, in this moment.

I took his hand and stood up, feeling only slightly weak on my feet. He led me to the dance floor just as the upright bass player began to pluck a steady, repetitive rhythm. There were several couples dancing, and Edward maneuvered us easily around the other duos, finally stopping right at centerstage. His right hand grasped my lower back while his left hand's fingers twisted into my right's. I placed my left hand at the back of his neck, and he began to gently sway us to the soft, slow tones of the song.

For five-and-a-half minutes, we spun together, our eyes never leaving one another's until he leaned down, pulling my body closer to his as he whispered in my ear.

"You are absolutely stunning, Isabella," he said, before placing a gentle kiss on my throat just below my ear.

Chills erupted all over my body, and it took me a second before I could respond. "Thank you," I finally whispered back.

"It's true.” His breath ghosted across my skin, bringing a shiver of anticipation as we lingered there for a moment before he stood, raising his voice. “Let's go back to the table," he suggested, and I hooked my arm in his. We walked together, and I looked around the club for the first time as we moved.

The walls were a deep honey color, which played off the dark wood of the bar and tables nicely. In typical jazz club style, one wall was covered in framed photos - likely acts that had played at Speakeasy through the years. The floor was stained concrete, a dark color as well, and the performers on stage were only elevated about two feet, making it so that the band could easily make eye contact with the audience.

The bar was fully stocked, a wall of every liquor imaginable, with at least ten taps for various beers lining one side wall.

It was gorgeous, and the waitstaff and bartenders were all clad in black from head to toe.

Edward and I slid back into our seats, and I sipped the final bit of my martini. "Edward, tell me something about yourself," I requested.

He looked thoughtful for a moment and then smiled. "I always wished I had a brother or sister growing up." He paused and took a moment to swirl his scotch around in his glass. "Also...I've always preferred brunettes."

He winked at me. Fucking winked.

My breath caught, and he snickered at me. "Bella, are you breathless over a wink? Think of everything else we've done..."

A montage of scenes swam in the back of my mind, but I shook my head. "It's different...one-on-one. I feel... I don't know. Is it different for you, too?"

He grew serious, and the way his eyes darkened was obvious even in the poor lighting of the club. "You have no idea," he replied simply, taking a swig of his drink.

The waitress was back. Edward nodded at her, and she was gone. Within moments, a new martini was on the table in front of me and a new glass of scotch was waiting for him.

"Tell me something about Emmett," he requested.

I grinned. "Emmett is the best brother ever created," I said, not caring if it appeared that I was gushing. "He's supportive and smart, and I just really friggin' want him to find someone worthy of him," I finished.

He nodded curtly. "I can relate," he said, and suddenly, I felt awkward and one hundred shades of nervous because I knew he was referring to Rosalie.

"Have you talked to her?" I asked vaguely.

Edward took a deep breath and shrugged. "Not much. We're...taking some time to figure things out on our own."

I nodded, busied myself with drinking my martini, and diverted my eyes to the table. Edward sipped his drink, draining the last of his first glass while his fingers drummed to the rhythm of the band, which had switched to Miles Davis' "Freedie Freeloader."

I bit my tongue against the urge to pry for more information about Rosalie. For whatever reasons – reasons they had yet to let me in on – they had decided to sever our relationship as a trio, and it was at their request that we were now keeping secrets. I wanted to just blurt it out, get it out in the open, but I…didn’t. I was probably being a spoiled brat, but I liked not being the only one in the dark for once. So I swallowed my questions and my comments about Rose and focused on Edward.

We talked some more, getting to know one another as time flew by, and finally, Edward eyed his watch. "It's 11:30, Bella. What do you say we have one more dance and then get out of here?"

I nodded and downed the last of my fourth cocktail. "Sounds good to me," I replied, and slid out of the booth, following him again.

When I stood, I felt a tiny bit loopy and realized I was just this side of tipsy, so I waited for a moment to steady myself. "I'm sorry," I said, looking at him apologetically. "Four isn't usually so...impacting. They must have been stronger than I'm used to," I finished.

He smiled down at me. "Well, they do serve only top shelf here, Bella, so perhaps we'll have to get you accustomed to this place, hmm?"

I smiled at him, and he led me to the dance floor once again, this time to the tunes of a Billie Holliday song I knew, and I found myself singing along as I leaned my head against Edward's chest, my eyes closed. We spun slowly with the music, and I felt but did not hear him exhale. He murmured something, and when I looked up, meeting his eyes with mine, he only smiled gently at me and pressed his lips to my forehead softly.

The song ended, and we grabbed my things and walked to the valet station. Edward handed the ticket over and Riley - the same kid who worked with me at the magazine - smiled up at me. "Hi, Bella," he said shyly. "I'll get your car right away, Mr. Cullen."

"You know him?" Edward asked, curious.

I nodded. "That's Riley," I replied simply. At Edward’s raised eyebrow, I added, “He works with me. You know…Riley.” I grinned when I saw the realization dawn in his eyes – we’d talked about Riley and his minor crush on me during one of our many evenings with Rosalie.

Edward chuckled and said, "Then I'll give him a generous tip for letting you out this evening."

I laughed in response, and then the car was there, and as we drove away, leaving Riley stunned at the fifty dollar bill in his hand, I looked at Edward. "Thank you for tonight. It's been wonderful," I said.

He shifted gears and coasted through a yellow light.

"Is it rude of me to presume you wouldn't mind returning to my house?" he asked, his eyes never leaving the road.

I swallowed thickly, all warming effects of the alcohol suddenly gone as a new kind of heat took their place. "No," I said softly in response.

"Good," he said resolutely and turned the car left, in the direction of Cullen Condominiums.

It had only been a few days since I'd seen Edward's complex, but in the dark of night, swaddled in the intentions surrounding our evening, it was different somehow. I swallowed hard, suddenly anxious, as Edward pulled into his garage. I could hardly pay attention to anything, so when he opened the door and held his hand out to take mine, I moved blindly, clutching at his forearm lightly before shaking my head and standing up.

This is ridiculous, Bella, I chided myself. Stop freaking out.

Damien smiled as I walked in with Edward. "Hello, lovely lady," he called out, and I laughed, finally breaking the tension I'd been feeling.

Edward and I stepped into the elevator, and he pressed the button for his floor before leaning against the back wall and gesturing to me. "Come here, Bella. Please."

I obeyed, silently stepping in front of him so that my hips were just in front of his, my legs between his. Edward's hands slid into my hair at the nape of my neck, and he pulled my lips toward his. As I stretched upward just slightly, he kissed me. It started off soft, lazy almost, as though he were trying it on for size, but then I slid my hands around his waist and pressed my body to his, and he groaned against my lips.

I felt his fingers adjust as the elevator moved upward, his right hand tightening into a fist as his left slid down my arm and then onto my hip, holding me tight against his chest. His tongue was still coated in scotch, so the woodsy flavor infiltrated my mouth when he slipped between my lips. I hummed appreciatively and felt his thumb slip into the waist of my skirt...

...and then the fucking elevator sounded, letting us know we'd arrived at his floor.

I growled as I pulled away, and Edward chuckled. "Let's go, Bella," he said softly, never removing his hand from the small of my back. We walked together to his doorway, and when he opened it, he pushed it inward with a quiet, "Ladies first."

I stopped in his kitchen, waiting for him to lock the door, and when he met me, he gestured toward his bedroom, asking that I follow him.

When we arrived, he looked sheepish. "I may have purchased a few things for you. I...hope you don't mind."

I raised my eyebrows at him and then followed him into his expansive closet.

"I didn't know your preferences..."

There, on a shelf, were several pairs of pajamas. It seemed as though he'd gone into Victoria's Secret, said he needed to buy lingerie for his girlfriend, and then bought everything the employee recommended. There were silk pajama pants and cotton tank tops, terrycloth shorts, as well as yoga pants. "Edward, you could have asked me what I slept in," I teased.

"I didn't want to be presumptuous, Bella."

I gave him a pointed look and replied, "Yes, because buying an entire wardrobe of sleepwear is anything but presumptuous," with a smile.

"Point taken," he said before sidling up behind me. I felt his fingers on my hips and his breath warm on my neck as he whispered in my ear, "Are you saying you don't like any of it? You could sleep in the nude, you know..."

His voice trailed off as he took my earlobe gingerly between his teeth.

"I will if you will," I said, breathless. My eyes closed as I leaned back against his shoulder.

"Did we really plan on sleeping, Bella?" Heat erupted all over my body, and I whipped around to face him.

"Fuck," I gasped before nearly attacking his mouth with mine.

We kissed, hot and heavy, for a minute before I said, "Go sit on your bed. I want to do something."

He quirked an eyebrow at me but listened, and I followed him as he walked back into his room. I watched as Edward settled into the mattress, shedding his jacket and loosening his tie before toeing out of his shoes.

"Edward." I said his name roughly, my voice suddenly thick with desire as I stared at him, all disheveled and sexy.

He snapped his eyes to meet mine, and after staring at one another for a few seconds, I leaned over, removing my shoes slowly. I placed them on the floor to my right side before standing up to my full height. I pulled off my coat and then bangles, and placed the items as well as my purse on a small table near me.

"Bella, come here, please," he said again, but I shook my head.

Instead, I unzipped my skirt in response and then pulled my shirt over my head, letting it fall to the floor near my feet. I let him stare at me, his eyes roving over the lace of my bra before I slipped my fingertips inside the waistline of my skirt and pushed it down, over my hips.

I stepped out of it and stood still, watching as Edward's lips parted and he focused in on my garters.

"Oh, Jesus, Bella, please come here," he breathed, and this time, I moved toward him.

As soon as I was near him, his fingers we moving up and down my thighs, teasing as they ghosted over my breasts, and finally, I wrapped my arms around him and pushed backward so that he was laying on the mattress. I crawled onto the bed, straddling him, and felt him already ready, hard against my inner thigh.

"Do you want me?" I asked coyly, and he sat up quickly, his lips on mine. Before I even knew what was going on, his nimble fingers had unsnapped my bra, and he was pulling it over my arms. When he tossed it over my shoulder, I glanced toward it for a millisecond, and suddenly his mouth was on my skin, licking and sucking at my nipple as his hands worked the garters in an attempt to remove them.

"Bella," he said, finally lifting his lips from my skin. "Do you know how long I've wanted you just like this in my bed?"

"Show me," I whispered, and he moved abruptly. I was on my back, my garters unsnapped, and I watched Edward stand up and undress quickly, throwing his shirt, slacks, and undershirt haphazardly to the floor.

He crawled on the mattress, and when I was within his reach, he pulled my stockings down my legs. His fingers left my skin tingling, and I found myself aching for him already. Five days had been too long; I needed the release that only he could give me. I wanted him to touch me, his mouth on me...I wanted everything. He mumbled, "Bella, take your underwear off," and I did. Edward took them from me and dropped them over the side of the bed, and before I could move any further, his hands pressed my thighs into the mattress, and his tongue was sliding along my slit. I wanted to move my hips, but his grip on my legs was such that I couldn't, so I gasped his name instead.

"Edward...God."

My hands clutched at the sheets - new, I presumed. They were sage and made of about a million thread count, but before I could take note of any other detail, his tongue began to encircle my clit, and my hands moved immediately to his hair.

"Baby, slow down, please," I begged between breaths. "We have all night, right?"

I felt him laugh lightly against my sensitive skin, and after one last pass with his tongue, he began to move up my frame. His lips traipsed slowly over my hips and thighs, stopping to gently kiss my belly button. Edward brought his hands up my sides, caressing me gently, and it felt so fucking good.

"Bella, I want you every moment of every day. Can you understand that?" he asked, and then lowered his lips to my breast again.

I moaned quietly, my back arching toward him. "Yes," I answered, and he looked me in the eye.

"Good," he said softly.

"Let me touch you," I requested, and in response, he smiled and moved to lie next to me, his head on the same pillow.

I took him in my hand after rolling onto my side, but before I began to move, I asked, "Edward, why didn't you ever let me...I mean, before that night with..." I bit my lip, trailing off as I found myself unwilling to bring Rosalie into Edward’s bedroom on our first night alone together.

He sighed, his jade eyes focused on mine. "Bella, it was too much. I knew it made you wonder what was wrong when I didn't let you..."

"Swallow," I provided.

He continued. "I knew it made you feel...strange...but would it make sense if I said it was too much? It was too intimate. I know I'd been inside of you, and that we shared this voyeuristic...thing...but letting you take me into your body like that...it just wasn't alright with me, not when I was sharing you with someone else." I felt a flash of indignation at the implication that Rose had somehow been an intruder. We had entered the relationship together – all three of us – and I resented the thought that she had been in the way.

As quickly as the thoughts entered my mind, I forced them away again. Enjoy this night with Edward. As if to remind myself, I looked into his eyes – vulnerable jade blending with passionate malachite - and I felt the resentment melt away.

He paused. I nodded, said, "I can understand that," and started to move my hand up and down his hard length. I spread the liquid that was at his tip with my thumb, using it as a natural lubricant, and as my hand began to work him, he clamped his eyes closed, and I heard a throaty groan begin in his chest.

"Bella..." My name came out of his mouth in a single gasp, and I moved down the mattress and took his head between my lips. I ran my tongue around its perimeter and felt the muscles in his hips contract in response. "Bella, I don't want...I...Fuck. Stop for a second," he said.

I pulled my lips away from his skin and looked at him expectantly. "I'm sorry," he said, "I just...can't form a coherent sentence when you're doing that." He reached down and grazed his fingers over my chin. "Please, Bella, let me be inside of you again."

I kissed the plane of his lower abs once, moving upward and making sure to pay attention to his nipples. "You can be inside of me anytime you want, Edward. Do you hear me?" I whispered in his ear, when my lips reached throat.

Edward growled and pushed me so that I was on my back again. My knees were on the outside of his hips, almost straddling him, and with one hand, he balanced himself over me. With the other, I felt him slowly press himself into me.

Once again, the feeling of Edward with absolutely nothing between our bodies was almost too much. I arched my back, letting him push that much further into me, and as he said my name lowly, I whimpered. "Oh God, so good," I managed, and then he started to roll his hips, moving so slowly, I could scarcely stand it.

His other hand pressed into the mattress near my head, and as I wrapped my legs around him, he lowered his lips to mine, kissing me softly, his tongue probing my mouth. Our tongues intertwined, and he adjusted his speed, increasing it as time went on.

He moved easily in and out of me, and all too soon, I felt a familiar heat developing in my hips. My nerve endings were rapid-firing, and I wasn't sure I could handle anymore when, suddenly, I fell into a million pieces.

My orgasm shot through me, causing my toes to curl and my hips to buck as my back arched. My hands found their way into Edward's hair, and I gasped into his ear, repeating his name over and over again.

I felt him move inside of me just as I was beginning to come down from my release and watched as his jaw clenched, his teeth grinding as he finished.

"That was..." My voice faltered. I had no words.

"I know," he said with a sigh.

He rested against me for a moment, our chests heaving as we worked to catch our breath. He kissed me gently, his lips alighting on my chin, my cheeks, the hollow of my throat, before they finally settled on my lips. He smiled against them before lifting himself away.

Edward pulled out of me, and I almost pouted that he did. "I'll bring you a towel, Bella," he said. "And if you'll let me know which pajamas you prefer..."

I smiled. "Yoga pants and a tank top, actually."

"Perfect," he answered, and then I was alone, all post-coital and blissed out. As I listened to Edward moving in the bathroom, I thought of the way he and Rose had always taken care of me – always – which is why it had been such a shock when they’d both abandoned me. I swallowed thickly, not liking the direction my thoughts were heading.

I closed my eyes, trying instead to memorize the way Edward's hands felt on my skin. A small grin had just appeared on my lips when I felt a plush towel press into my hand. "Here you are. I'll be back," he murmured, and then, while he walked to the closet to pull my pajamas out, I cleaned myself up.

After using the cloth, I rolled over and stood, walking around the room and gathering our clothes. I had just pulled my panties on when he stepped out of the closet. I shot a small smile at him and turned over my shoulder, trying to find my bra, wherever it had landed.

A moment later, his arms were around me, one hand gently contoured to my breast. "You're so beautiful this way. Are you sure you want these?" He lifted the hand holding the pajamas - black yoga pants and a pale blue tank top - and smiled as I looked into his eyes.

"Unless you're sleeping naked, I'm wearing them," I replied with a wink.

"Fair enough," he said, nodding. "Do you need anything? Water, maybe?"

I nodded. "Water would be good."

He disappeared again, and I got dressed. The clothes were cottony soft, and I loved the way they felt on me. I folded my shirt and skirt over the back of a chair and also laid my stockings and garters there. I folded Edward's clothes as well, leaving them in a neat pile on the small table. Then, I walked to the bathroom and rinsed my face before crawling under Edward's amazing Egyptian cotton sheets.

I giggled to myself as I realized he was walking around naked, and it was at that moment that he reentered the room.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing, really. I just...realized you were walking around with no clothes on," I answered.

He smiled down at me and handed me a bottle of water. I took three long swigs and then placed it on the nightstand nearest me. "I'm remedying that now," he said. Edward walked to the table and pulled his boxers on, quickly making his way back to me in his bed.

His body immediately contoured to mine, and he kissed the back of my head. "Thank you," he whispered.

"No, thank you," I replied. "This evening has been...perfect."

"I'm glad," he said in response. "Good night, Bella."

"Good night, Edward," I answered, and within moments, I fell asleep.

It was the first night I slept with Edward wrapped around me.

Chapter 8 ~ Chapter 10

Bella's Outfit ~ Edward's Suit ~ Edward's Favorite Car ~ The Real Speakeasy ~ Edward's Sheets

Snapshots: Exposure Chapter 5, RPOV

2009-12-19T22:25:00.002-08:00

For weeks, I had been able to tell something was amiss with Edward. He was my best friend, after all, and I could be honest enough to admit that we found ourselves in a rather precarious situation.

The fact was that the moment I’d seen Bella – dark haired with big brown eyes and a winning smile – I’d known she was Edward’s type.

Thing is…she was my type, too.

Normally, I would’ve stepped aside and let him approach her alone, but he had all but stopped dating, so I seriously doubted he would do anything about it anyway. More than that, though, there was something alluring about Bella, something unusual. I couldn’t place it, but I felt drawn to her in a way that I’d rarely felt before, and that was without ever hearing so much as the sound of her voice.

I wanted to know her, too.

So I’d pushed him, teased him a little, until he’d agreed we should try this…thing out, and it had worked beautifully.

Bella was amazingly receptive; I knew she wasn’t a lesbian and that I was guiding her through her first girl-on-girl experience, but it hardly seemed to matter. When she willingly went down on me - and Edward had been uncomfortable watching – I had been prepared to be done with the sexual side of our impending relationship with Bella before it had really even begun.

I’d assumed we would have that one night, and then it would be over.

But everything was so perfect…

And then she’d all but begged us to continue.

Neither Edward nor I could tell her no.

So, we continued to meet on Fridays, alternating the locale between each of our places, and I watched as Edward grew more and more uneasy with our arrangement.

Perhaps it was selfish of me. It had been a long time since Kathryn, and I’d been sorely lacking in any kind of sexual release that wasn’t self-induced. Perhaps I was just a horny bitch who needed to get off, and Bella was conveniently there. Or perhaps I just really liked Bella as a person, and the fact that she wanted to be with me, in that way, was just what I needed.

I knew it was a little of all three.

But when Edward had mumbled and run from the room that night at Bella’s, my heart had leapt into my throat.

Thank God I was still dressed, because I had hardly been able to catch up with him when I ran from the room. I’d felt terrible for leaving Bella with no explanation, but the truth of the matter was that Edward was the one person I couldn’t live without. He was my backbone, my sanity…I simply couldn’t lose him.

“Edward! Edward, wait,” I called out just as he reached his car door. The silver of his Volvo – a car I teased him for owning, considering the money he had at his fingertips – seemed garish and bright in the light of the street lamp, and he paused, his body frozen as his fingers curved around the handle of the door.

“Rose,” he replied. His voice was quiet, broken, somehow.

Guilt rose up in me. This was my fault. I should have asked him what was wrong. I should have shown him I could see that he wasn’t comfortable.

Fear was next. What if this did our relationship in? What if we couldn’t get past this? My hands were trembling as I approached him, and I wondered if I could trust my voice.

Panic began to overwhelm me as I tried to think of what to say. Should I apologize? Should I tell him to go back upstairs so we could give Bella some realistic explanation of what had just transpired? My breathing started coming in short pants and gasps and to try to steady myself, I leaned on his car with one hand.

“Rose, I’m sorry,” he said, finally looking me in the eye.

The emotions that reflected back to me in the deep green of his eyes were enough to calm at least one fear.

He was afraid he would lose me, too.

“You’re sorry? Why? I should have said…I mean, I knew you were…” I couldn’t decide what to say, and my breathing was still uneven. My stammering was so unlike me that I just stopped to take a deep breath.

“I should have been up front about…everything,” he said, regret coating each word like a thick fog.

I looked up at him and sighed. “I should have, too,” I said.

“I…look, Rose, I can’t do this here, okay? I have to go home and try to sleep and not think about this mess for a while, alright? I know the timing of this is terrible because this week is insanely busy for me, but I swear, we can talk about it later.” He paused and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I promise. Later.”

I nodded and moved to hug him. His arms instantly wrapped around me, and I suddenly knew that we could get through this.

It would be hard, though.

When we parted, I stepped back onto the sidewalk and watched him drive away. After I cast a fleeting look up at Bella’s window, I sighed and walked to my car, glad I’d thought to snatch my purse up on my way out and after Edward.

I knew we owed Bella an explanation, but I wasn’t prepared to talk to her. Not yet.

Quickly, I walked to my car. As soon as I sat down, I groaned.

“Rosalie Hale, you’re an idiot,” I chided myself aloud, and then pulled away from the curb.

Wednesday, I called Edward. I’d tried hard to give him the space I knew he needed, but I was unable to handle the silence that stood between us any longer.

“Hey, Rose,” he answered the call.

I took a deep breath before replying. “Are you…alright?”

“I am. Are you?”

“Yeah…Listen, Edward…can we get a drink or something? I think we should talk.” I wondered if he’d say no, tell me to go fuck myself and hang up, but of course, this was my best friend. He’d never do that to me.

“That’s probably a good idea, Rose,” he said. We arranged to meet at The Signature Lounge an hour later, and I found myself pacing back and forth in my kitchen before I left.

Fears were gnawing at me. I worried that somehow, we wouldn’t be able to recover from this…whatever this was. And then I felt like crap because, as much as I was truly terrified to lose Edward, I couldn’t get Bella off my mind. She was this constant presence, always there, always around, and in the absence of Edward, I felt wrong for thinking of her.

We met just outside the doors and went in, immediately moving to the bar to order a drink.

“Sidecar, please. And a Signature Pear, as well,” Edward announced to the bartender.

“You don’t have to…”

He cut me off. “Yes I do. I always buy your drinks,” he said with a small smile. “Stop being difficult.”

His teasing broke some of the tension, and as we stood near the window, looking down at the street from so high up, he finally said, “You know, Rose, I really should have been up front about the fact that I was no longer…okay…with our arrangement.”

I sipped my martini and shrugged as I caught his eye. “I should have made you talk.”

We both said we were sorry, one on top of the other, our words tumbling together easily.

It was silent.

Then, “Where do we go from here?” he asked. “I won’t lose you in this, Rosalie. I can’t. You’re my backbone, and you’re too important.”

“I feel the same way, Edward. It’s…Maybe we should just focus on the two of us. Getting back to what our friendship was before things went a little haywire.” I paused and stared down at the floor near my feet. “I’m sorry for pushing you into participation,” I said softly.

“Hey,” he said in a strong voice, just loud enough that I jerked my face upward to look at him. “Don’t think that way. I wanted her. You didn’t have to do too much convincing, if I remember correctly. And after all, she’s the one who suggested we continue our…routine.”

I didn’t miss that he never said her name.

He wasn’t over something, even if he was professing to me that we were going to be fine.

We discussed taking a few days to think through anything we wanted to say to one another. We decided that we’d talk again after we’d had enough time to work through our own personal dilemmas. Overall, we agreed that rebuilding our friendship was important, but in order to do that, we had to determine what was most important to us as individuals first. We finished our cocktails and went home for the evening, and even though I was reassured that I wasn’t going to lose Edward, I still felt on edge, uncomfortable…worried about whatever it was he wasn’t telling me.

Edward and I talked briefly, but both of our professional lives were incredibly busy in the week following that Friday at Bella’s. We really were fine, but I could tell there was something he was still holding back; something he was, for whatever reason, not ready to say aloud.

This seemed different than whatever his discomforts were regarding our arrangement with Bella. I was relatively sure it was tied to her, but I couldn’t quite discern how.

The next week passed, and when Friday came, I found myself curled up in a blanket on my couch, despite the warm weather we were experiencing.

My book was face down on the couch next to me, and I realized I really wanted to apologize to Bella. For leaving her. For not calling sooner.

For this mess we were in.

I knew it wasn’t completely my fault. We were all legal, consenting adults who knew what they were getting into, but still. I was of the opinion that we all owed each other a bit of an apology.

I needed to tell Edward I was sorry for pushing him into this whole scenario. He needed to apologize to us both for not being open and honest regarding whatever was going on in his mind. Bella should possibly have apologized for manipulating us the morning after – because, in truth, that’s what it was – because, in truth, Edward and I would never have considered a relationship with a girl…together.

Sure, in recent years, I’d taken a liking to brunettes, which meant we often found the same women attractive, but the fact remained that a threesome blurred lines, and that was a bad idea.

We’d known that from the beginning, but Bella had enthralled us both, and apparently, we’d been robbed of our reason as well.

Still, I missed her.

I wanted to see her.

I had no idea how she’d react if I asked, but I had to know.

I picked up my phone and dialed her number.

Previous Chapter

Snapshots: Exposure Chapter 4, EPOV

2009-12-19T22:25:00.001-08:00

I ended my phone call with Bella and sighed, letting my head fall onto the back of my recliner. Frustrated, I tossed my cell onto the table near my chair, beneath the lamp. The fact was that I never did fully confess my worries, or own the fact that I didn’t know how much longer I could handle this…arrangement of sorts.

I should have come right out with it.

I thought Rose and I could handle this because we’d experienced so much together. I’d seen her naked many times before; we took European vacations together, after all, which included nude beaches, so it wasn’t as though that part of this was an issue. I thought we could keep things casual – well, as casual as a three-person relationship could be, I suppose.

I never thought I’d develop real feelings for Bella.

But that first night, when she’d offered to pleasure Rose orally, I had been instantly uncomfortable, but when I tried to leave - or at the very least look away - she’d insisted that I stay. Later, as she slept with her hand on my chest, I realized I was already too invested in her, and that this whole three-way commitment was probably a bad idea, but I pushed through because I was certain I was being ridiculous. It was just some masculine territorial response that I would get over.

But I hadn’t. And each week, it had become harder and harder to watch her with Rosalie. To hear her moan Rose’s name and see her writhe beneath my best friend’s hands.

When I talked to Bella on the phone as she soaked in a bath – a scene that made me catch my breath, if I’m honest - I thought of her harried response to my query: “Of course I do,” she’d said.

When she replied that way, I decided to persevere. This was just new. It wasn’t as though I’d had threesomes regularly before Bella entered my life. Never mind that I wondered if it could technically be called a threesome, considering Rose and I never touched one another.

I can do this, I decided, and then Bella and I had talked. We spoke about my philanthropic works, and the McIntyre Project, which I was incredibly excited about. The idea of giving lower income families a real shot at moving out of the worst sections of town gave me a sense of true joy. I learned about her family and that her brother was gay. It was definitely nice to know that she could relate to standing up for someone you loved when some jerk made asinine comments about them or their preferences.

Knowing Bella had been in the tub when I called…I couldn’t lie: the imagery that played through my mind was intoxicating. I could see her. Taste her. Feel her skin, her hands, what it was like to be inside of her.

God, she felt so good…

When I’d asked her to think of me when she touched herself that night, the words had surprised even me. I wondered if I hadn’t really been able to shove back my worries, if that was a subtle attempt to focus her attentions on me and me alone, and I felt quite prepared to do a little self-analysis.

But then…I remembered the way she’d responded.

I could her the water sloshing as she stood and stepped out of the tub, and knowing she was standing there naked was bad enough, but when she gasped, and her voice lowered as it always did when she was aroused, I had nearly begged her to let me come over, despite our “no singular dating” rule.

I’d only insisted on that rule because I had assumed it would keep things simpler between the three of us, but it hadn’t stopped my feelings for her from growing and changing. Of course, I wondered now if perhaps I already had misgivings about her being with Rosalie and subconsciously couldn’t bear the thought of the two of them enjoying each other alone…without me.

In the wake of our phone call, I felt anxious. I picked my cell phone back up and walked to my bedroom, taking a seat in the middle of my bed. I tossed the phone to my nightstand after making sure it was silenced. I had no appointments in the morning and wanted to try to sleep in at least until nine.

When I’d called Bella, I had already changed into my sleepwear – boxers and a t-shirt, given the warm weather Chicago happened to be experiencing, so I let myself fall back onto my bed, my head on the pillow.

Bella in the bath…what a sight to behold.

I could see her there, her hair tied up into a messy knot of sorts on the top of her head, bubbles coating the surface of the water and surrounding her chest and neck, the only visible skin on her body that of her face, throat, and forearms, where they lay along the edge of the tub. Her eyes would be closed, and her face turned slightly toward the ceiling.

Glorious.

As I continued to think of her, bare beneath the water, my right hand moved of its own accord, grazing my length, still confined to my boxers.

I closed my eyes and let my imagination go.

Suddenly, in that strange way that always happens in daydreams, I was standing in the doorway, and the bubbles had disappeared, thanks to some sort of magical time lapse. Bella stood, the water gliding down her subtle curves, and faced me. Her skin shimmered faintly with the iridescence of the bubbles, the rivulets of water drawing my eyes to her shapely legs.

Slowly, she stepped over the bathtub wall and onto the heather gray mat on her bathroom floor. She reached up with one hand and pulled the band holding her hair up away from her head, allowing her long, dark hair to cascade down her back and over her chest.

I took my boxers off, dropping them on the mattress to my right as I took myself in my hand with a firm grip. I was already hard, but my fantasy was nowhere near over. I knew that instinctively.

Bella moved toward me, a small smirk on her lips. I lifted my arms to her, wrapping her bare body in my embrace, and she hopped lithely. Easily, I caught her and held her to me with my hands beneath her thighs. Her legs were wrapped around me as I headed to her bedroom.

The sheets on her mattress were already turned down, and I placed her gently down on her back, leaning over her as I took her bottom lip between my teeth lightly.

My hand moved evenly, a slow rhythm that felt like heaven as I imagined the texture of Bella’s soft skin against mine. Up and down it moved, and the sensitivity of my nerve endings seemed to have grown exponentially.

She kissed me back, hard, pulling me down so that her bare breasts were pressed into my chest. I groaned into her mouth as I felt her fingers wrap around me, gently teasing my head; it felt so good that my hips jerked involuntarily, and she giggled against my lips.

“I want you,” she whispered into my ear. “Let me have you, Edward.”

“Always,” I replied, and let her guide me into her body, wet heat surrounding me as I gasped at the sensation.

Being inside Bella, fully wrapped in her warmth, her body, never ceased to amaze me. It was hot and exciting and delicious, and then there were the sounds she made.

Tiny grunts and moans, fervent whispers in my ear…sometimes I wondered if she was cognizant of the noises she made, but it really didn’t matter: they turned me on.

My rhythm became erratic as I imagined being sheathed inside of Bella with no barrier between us, no distraction of another person in the room, and as I pumped my hand back and forth, I felt a familiar heat coursing through my body and my hips began to writhe against the satin of my sheets.

“Fuck,” I mumbled, and then I came, hard and fast, my release thankfully pooling on my stomach instead of my sheets.

In the aftermath, I let myself relax, letting my nerves calm down before I rose to walk to the bathroom to clean myself up. Quickly, the substance on my stomach was cold, and I moved sluggishly to shower.

As I stood there, the hot water flowing over my skin, my mind was on Bella.

I hadn’t wanted to admit to her that I didn’t think I could handle sharing her with Rose – with anyone, really. This agreement was what had brought us together…how could I now tell her that it wasn’t good enough for me? She could just as easily choose Rosalie – or choose to go on without either of us. She could call me a selfish bastard – and I was. I could lose her completely.

Sharing Bella was ridiculous, but if it was the only way I could have her, I supposed I had to take it.

That night, as I closed my eyes in the darkness of my room, I pictured Bella, her hands curved into her body and her lips parted as she brought herself to orgasm, whispering my name breathlessly. That vision appeared over and over again in my dreams.

The next morning, as I sipped my coffee, staring out at the Chicago skyline from my living room window, I knew I was falling in love with her.

This would pose a problem.

Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter

Snapshots: Exposure Chapter 1, EPOV

2009-12-19T22:22:00.000-08:00

“I’ll take a vodka tonic and a Tokyo Rose,” I said to the bartender. He was a big guy, and nice enough. “Grey Goose in both, please.”

“Tokyo Rose…vodka, sake rice wine, and Midori, right?” The bartender was already pulling a shaker out and filling it with ice. Clearly, the guy was a professional and experienced.

I nodded and flattened a twenty-dollar bill on the bar. “That’s it. I’m almost surprised you’ve heard of it,” I replied.

He grinned at me. “I’m uh…well-rounded,” he laughed. He mixed the drink and then poured my vodka tonic and pushed both glasses toward me.

“Keep the change,” I said. “Thanks a lot.”

I always insisted Rose allow me to buy her drinks. It wasn’t because she couldn’t spend the money; Rose was the number two real estate broker in the downtown Chicago area and owned a loft that was so posh, even I had to stand back and gawk when she originally made the purchase. The view was spectacular - it was a mix of the downtown cityscape and Lake Michigan. No, I made her let me pay for her drinks because she was my closest friend and confidant, and I loved her for it. Besides, money was something I didn’t ever have to think about, so why not take care of my friend in this way?

And it’s not like I have to worry about a girlfriend being jealous, I thought wryly.

I made my way back to our booth and placed her cocktail before her on the table. “Grey Goose, right?” she asked.

I shook my head. “Nope, they were out. It’s Absolut. I hope that’s okay,” I said, somehow appearing completely serious.

“God damn it, Edward. Are you kidding me? You know I won’t drink vodka unless…”

Before she got too far into her little tirade, I moved into my seat, leaned against the wall and held up a hand as I sipped my drink. “Rose, you know I’m kidding. Come on, now.”

She only shook her head at me. “I really should know better by now. You and your odd sense of humor…” She flashed a smile at me.

We small-talked for a while. That was one thing about Rose and me - we’d been friends for five years, and in those five years, we’d experienced everything together: bad break ups, deaths in the family, sickness, and even career crises. There was a time, about six months after we met, that Rose actually considered giving up on real estate. For weeks, she would call me every night complaining about how hard showing condos was in the current market and telling me about all the men who made their intentions very well-known. I talked her out of quitting every day because some people are just born to do what they do, and Rose is one of them. When you take all of that into consideration, it’s easy to see why conversation was so natural and free-flowing for us.

Our first meeting was entertaining to say the least. She came to showcase my complex to a possible buyer, and when her client left, I asked her what she thought about the condos. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “They’re okay. I wouldn’t be caught dead without a lake view.”

I knew then that Rosalie Hale and I were meant to be friends. No one was ever blunt with me. They were always too concerned with my family name. The Cullens were known for their philanthropic ways around Chicago, and like it or not, we held quite a bit of power in the city. Therefore, Rose’s outright dismissal of the location of our condominiums despite their being prime property was impressive, and I immediately wanted to take her to lunch.

She was gorgeous, of course. Long, blonde hair. Big blue eyes. Beautiful, intelligent, witty, and successful? It’s safe to say that I was interested, despite having always had a preference for brunettes. Sometimes you can’t have everything.

I hinted at spending some time together several times before I said, “Look, I’m just asking as a friend. So how about it?”

It was then that she finally agreed to that lunch. Of course I’d been lying; I wanted to take her to lunch to gauge whether she was at all interested in me.

“What are you going to order?” I asked after we’d been seated at Deleece.

She crossed her arms over her chest and grinned. “Eh. Probably a Szechwan Steak Salad, but I’ll take most of it home. I’m not very hungry today.”

We chatted some more, and I learned that she was a transplant to Chicago by way of Rochester, New York, was six months younger than I was, and had no siblings. Though I was still uncertain whether she was at all into me, I was just about to ask her what she was doing later that evening when the waitress stopped by to deposit our iced teas. “Here you are,” she said. “Are you ready to order?”

Rose and I ordered our food. As the waitress walked away, Rose watched her and then turned to me. “She’s cute.”

“Yeah, I guess…“ I started. The waitress wasn’t really my type…but then again, with that long blonde hair, neither was Rose really.

Rose’s eyes narrowed. “I think I’ll get her number.”

I blinked before my eyes widened and, finally, I shook my head with a chuckle. Rose grinned and winked at me before taking a sip of her tea.

After that, I never asked Rose out that way again. That had been her way of very directly telling me I didn’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell. Shortly thereafter, I was glad of that fact. We became fast friends - she came to me with her girl problems, and I did the same with her. My few guy friends never wanted to believe that there was nothing going on between us, even after Rose announced that she was a lesbian to them all.

Every Friday, she came over to hang at my condo, and we watched old movies and drank wine. Our Friday nights were almost ritualistic. They were something we always made sure to explain when either of us began a relationship because our significant others were never invited. It was intended to be the two of us, relaxing and catching up.

Of course, I thought as I finished my drink, all the relationships for the past couple of years have been Rose’s.

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. After my last girlfriend two-and-a-half years ago, I’d realized the press and rumors really weren’t worth the half-assed relationships my job usually allowed. I was very conscious of my family’s reputation – ironically, we were constantly under attack because of our philanthropic activities. I’d been amazed when I understood that the majority of the people wanted to believe the worst of their fellow man. It was much easier to stomach the headlines about whose heart playboy Edward Cullen had broken than those about the hours that same Edward Cullen had spent tutoring math – not that work allowed me time for that anymore either.

My stressful job – that I just happened to love – was one of the reasons we found ourselves out for a few drinks that Friday before heading back to my apartment. We sat there in Breeze, and she sipped on her Tokyo Rose as conversation came naturally, the way it always did with us. As she finished her cocktail, a quiet came over the table, and I found myself staring into the crowd. I could hear the overtones of Rose’s humming as I stood to go buy another round from the bar.

“I’ll br…” I began, but I stopped as I watched the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen walk in. It took a lot to stop me in my tracks. I was by no means the playboy the trashy papers had claimed – my parents had raised me to be a gentleman - but I knew I was charming when I wanted to be. But this girl…

She had long, mahogany hair that hung straight down her back. A slight side part made her hair fall over one eye as she smiled and moved through the crowd.

Even from across the room, I could tell she had an amazing shape. That tight little skirt left just enough to the imagination, and paired with the heels she was wearing, I literally stopped speaking, mid-word.

I abruptly sat back down. “What is it, Edward?” Rose asked. She grinned as she teased me. “You’ve only had one drink…such a lightweight these days?" When I didn’t answer, I saw her frown from the corner of my eye. “Hey…are you okay?”

Nodding my head, I said, “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. This girl just walked in…”

“Do you know her?” Rose asked.

“No, no. She’s stunning. I mean, really stunning, Rosie. She stopped me right in my tracks.” I took a deep breath. “I…I’ll be right back. I was going to go get another round...”

Rose grabbed my belt loop. “Wait, where is she?”

“In that booth directly across from us,” I answered her. “I’ll be right back.”

I went to order our second round. Because the bar was filled nearly to capacity, it took about fifteen minutes of standing at the bar, glancing occasionally over my shoulder at the exquisite woman who was now sitting alone. Finally the bartender saw me, asked if I wanted a round of the same, and when I affirmed that that was the case, I had our drinks in hand in record time. Quickly, I returned to our booth. Rose said nothing as I handed her drink to her and took my seat. It wasn’t until I took my first sip that she opened her mouth. “She is gorgeous, Edward.”

“Yeah, I know.”

She spoke quickly and with emphasis on every word. “No, Edward. I mean she’s really attractive.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said, raising my eyebrow. I looked over at her, and she was making the same kind of expression toward me. “What?”

“Jesus, Edward. I know you’re not that obtuse. What have we been talking about the last few weeks?”

Realization dawned on me. For years, Rosalie had preferred blondes like herself, but that had been changing over the last year or so. She’d found herself attracted more and more to dark-haired women with dark eyes. Ironically, exactly the same type of woman that aroused me most. We had always made a game of pointing out women we knew the other would find attractive, and we were damn good at it, too. We’d even had a few success stories where one or the other of us had found a woman to date for a time from our little hobby.

That game had become more complicated about fourteen months ago, when I first noticed Rosalie’s shifting preference.

We were sitting at the sushi bar of our favorite Japanese restaurant, sharing an appetizer of sashimi as we waited for our table. Glancing around as I sipped my sake, I spotted a blonde bombshell – amazing body, very pretty face with high cheekbones, blue eyes that sparkled even from across the room, and that long, luxurious, wavy blonde hair that Rose loved to run her fingers through. I tapped my best friend on the upper arm and winked, nodding toward the woman I was sure she’d love.

“You’re welcome,” I murmured with a cheeky grin.

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. “She’s alright.”

I frowned at her. “What’s wrong with you? Feeling okay?”

“I’m fine, Edward.” She delicately maneuvered her chopsticks, enjoying a piece of hotate-gai. When I didn’t say anything, she finally shrugged and sighed, balancing her chopsticks on the side of her dish. “I’m a little tired of the same old thing, you know?”

My brow was furrowed as I dipped my sashimi in a sauce and brought it to my lips.

“Now her, on the other hand…” I glanced up at the sound of Rose’s voice and followed her gaze to see a curvy brunette laughing as she brushed back her straight hair.

“Just a minute, Hale…” I hid my amusement behind what I hoped was a serious-looking frown. “Are you encroaching on my territory?”

She just grinned at me. “Wonder who would win.”

From that night, our tastes had steadily merged until I was now quite sure that any woman I found particularly attractive, Rose would, too. Our jokes about having to share if we found someone we were really attracted to had started out playful but steadily grown slightly more serious in some strange way. I occasionally cringed at the thought of what would happen if any of the socialite press caught wind of such a relationship, but I wasn’t too worried.

I still didn’t think it would ever happen. Not really.

For the previous month, Rose and I had been joking about how if we found some girl we were both really attracted to, we’d have to have a threesome. After all, we’d done most everything else together, and between nude beaches, the sauna, and even the occasional shower, we definitely knew the sight of each others’ bodies. So what if we wouldn’t touch one another? That would just make it easier, and that way, neither of us would miss out on whatever ravishing woman we’d both spotted.

From there, we’d moved on to the more practical aspects in the idle time we spent drinking. We decided it would have to be someone we didn’t know, and she’d probably have to be a bit shorter than Rose because she liked to be taller than her girlfriends and therefore any girl she was involved with; it was just a thing she had. We also decided this would have to be a one-time deal because our friendship was too important to screw up over a woman.

It had all been said in jest.

At least I thought it was.

“Wait,” I said, casting a glance at the girl across the way and then bringing my attention back to Rose. “Are you serious? With her?”

She nodded. “Why not? She’s hot; we’re hot. We can ask, right?”

I couldn’t argue with that, not really. I was not a conceited man, but I knew I was attractive, well-dressed and had a lot to offer a woman. I just hadn’t found the right one yet. Those same traits could be attributed to Rose, if I was honest.

I let myself stare at the dark-haired beauty.

Even from across the room, her eyes were large and obviously expressive. Her lips were just full enough to appear pouty but not overly so. As I was watching her, she sipped her water through a straw, and to my surprise, my manhood decided to say hello. It was just a twitch, but if this was already happening while we were fully clothed and across the room from one another…

I tore my eyes away from my gorgeous brunette. “You’re serious.”

Rosalie took a long draught of her cocktail and grinned at me. “You’re not wimping out on me, are you Cullen?” she asked.

My eyes moved from Rose to the girl again, and I watched as she threw her cell phone down and then yanked it away. Apparently, it had fallen in water. I watched her for another moment and then looked back at Rose.

“Not a chance,” I replied, following suit and taking a swig of my drink. I realized I couldn’t say no to the idea of bedding this woman…and I didn’t even know her name. I was already rationalizing, listing all the reasons this was a good idea. We’ll be up front; no strings attached. We’ll be clear; one-time thing only. So nice not to have to worry about calling if she’s a complete ditz. Been way too long since I was with a woman, and she is beyond beautiful. Can just imagine those lips of hers around my… I cleared my throat. Yeah, so I’ll admit it – it was that last one that decided things for me. “So how do we do it?”

“Well, we can’t just walk up to her and as …” Rosalie’s voice fell away.

I glanced over at the girl. She looked angry - or at the very least incredibly frustrated - and was talking to her waitress. As I watched, she shot a small, tight smile at the waitress and stood up. She straightened her skirt and began moving toward the bar. “Let’s go,” I said, and slid to the end of my seat. “Come on.”

Rose moved quickly after downing the last of her drink but grabbed my arm, her nerves suddenly apparent. “What are we going to say?”

“I don’t know. We’ll wing it. Be charming,” I teased.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Fine.”

We moved behind her in the crowd, and she stood waiting for the bartender to return. Rosalie managed to get to her before me and leaned forward as she whispered into the brunette’s ear. The woman turned to her, no doubt surprised at the proximity of this mysterious voice. I watched from a few paces behind and to Rosalie’s left as they began to speak to each other.

From this new, closer vantage point, I could see her body - she was petite and thin with a perfect ass and slender legs. Our mystery girl turned around as the bartender arrived. I watched him appraise Rose, and when his eyes returned to our mystery girl, my friend motioned over at me to come closer.

“Just a tequila, please. Make it a double,” the girl said to him as I stood a foot or so behind her.

“Let me get that,” I said.

She turned around and swallowed hard. I smiled at her and watched as she followed my right hand as I lightly scratched my head behind my ear. Her eyes focused on my hair - in its usual state of disarray - and then came back to my face. It appeared that perhaps I was her type. That was good to know. “You don’t have to. Really.” Her voice was nice - a little lower than I expected, and sexy.

Rose piped in. “You should let him.” I smiled and agreed with her. The girl nodded, and I reached past her and handed the bartender a ten. He poured her shot and slid it to her, and then went happily on his way further down the bar.

“Thanks. What’s your name?” she asked me.

With some vague sense of protecting the family’s reputation, I gave her my first name and hoped that she wouldn’t recognize me as I acknowledged that she’d met Rose already. I smiled at the fact that Rosalie was standing mere inches away from the girl. “Bells? Is that a nickname for Bella?” Rose asked her.

When she said her name was actually Isabella and I complimented the name, I watched as a slight blush appeared on her cheeks. To ensure that it stayed there, I let her see my eyes work their way down her form and back up. I almost laughed when she had to clear her throat before she could speak again. Surely this won’t be this easy… I let Rosalie handle the introductory information until Bella asked if we were dating. My laugh was loud and unplanned. “Oh, no. We’re not dating. That’s an impossibility.”

Bella was confused but let the topic go. She chatted amiably about her job, and when I found out she was a writer and copy editor for The Common Appeal, my personal interest was somehow ever more piqued.

“My mother writes for an architectural magazine,” I said. “She’s done it my entire life.” I kept it to myself that she’d designed the condos I now owned and managed. “I have a very healthy respect for anyone who can manipulate the written word and do it well.”

She was pleased with that, and her soft smile showed it.

More conversation flowed easily between us, and Rose cast a look at me. I nodded, knowing what was coming next.

“So, Bella. We have a question for you.” Rose announced.

“Shoot,” Bella replied, and downed her shot. I noticed that she flicked her tongue into the glass and felt my cock twitch, again. I pulled my chin closer to my chest as she swallowed, and Rose leaned in to her ear yet again.

I kept calm, despite the many emotions that seemed about to burst forth, when Bella sputtered her initial response. “I…What? What?”

Rose took a half-step back, and I moved toward her. As I placed my left hand on Bella’s upper arm and told her the truth - that this was new for us, too - I found myself praying that she wouldn’t deny me. That she wouldn’t deny us.

Her lips parted, and she just stared at me for a moment before speaking.

I hardly listened to Rose’s response to Bella’s question about how the…threesome…would work. I watched as Rose took Bella’s chin between her fingers and whispered in her ear again. I found myself jealous, if only slightly, that the only contact with Bella I’d had was this one hand on her arm.

I’d remedy that soon.

Bella’s shock in response to Rose’s whisper told me that Rose had just let her know that she was a lesbian. I lightly held her hand and glided my fingers over her knuckles. I kept my focus on our hands as I questioned her simply. “Bella?”

She looked up at me. “Yes.”

She said yes?

She said yes!

I stared into her eyes and heard Rose take a breath. I figured I could either embarrass myself by revealing my elation – and possibly ruin the whole thing – or I could play it cool and get the hell out of there as soon as possible. After all, the less time we gave her to change her mind, the better, right? “So, I live four blocks from here, at 8th and Congress. Meet us there in half an hour?”

When she mentioned my family by name, relief and amusement washed over me. She didn’t recognize me from the papers and therefore didn’t know who I was. I was glad for that - we could bring that up later. I wasn’t keen on using my name to obtain the things I wanted – and if she didn’t know, I wanted to be sure she was trustworthy before that sort of information was just handed out.

Rose announced she was going home to pick up a few things, and when Bella turned around to place her glass on the bar, Rose slid her hand over Bella’s abdomen and said, “See you very soon,” before pulling away.

When she stepped away, I took Bella’s hand in mine and pulled her to me, determined to have at least my fair share of contact with her. She was pressed firmly against my leg and hip, and I could feel the warmth radiate from her body. God, she was beautiful. I couldn’t get over it. I looked her in the eye as I memorized the way her eyes appeared - wide and alive and mesmerized - as I leaned down to whisper in her ear myself. “Thank you,” I said, and then nibbled lightly on her earlobe. I felt a slight shiver move down her spine. I let my mind’s eye see her lying on my bed beneath me. I saw her hair splayed on the pillow above her head. I felt her petite, feminine fingers scratching my back lightly as we moved together.

It was all I could do not to groan.

“I’ll…I’ll see you in a few,” she said, a slight stammer in her voice as she pulled away from me.

“We’ll be waiting,” Rose replied, and Bella stepped out into the crowd.

Once she’d disappeared, I glanced down at Rose and took a deep breath. “We’re really doing this, aren’t we?”

She cocked an eyebrow at me haughtily. “I am absolutely going to be with her tonight. I guess it’s up to you if you want to join us or not.”

I narrowed my eyes at her playfully – at least, I think it was playfully – and said, “Oh, you better believe I’ll be there. It’s my condo, after all.”

She laughed softly and turned away, slipping her arm through mine as we walked out of the bar together. “God, she’s amazing, isn’t she?” she murmured so lowly I could just hear her above the noise in the room.

“That she is indeed…” I answered softly.

Next Chapter

Exposure Chapter 8 - The Pretender

2009-12-19T22:18:00.000-08:00

Three days later, I was in Lauren Mallory’s office again.

“Don’t forget I requested this afternoon off,” I told her with a smile. She was actually pretty cool when she wasn’t concentrating on being a pretentious bitch.

She nodded. “I know. You’re out of here in a few. Got big plans?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a date this weekend, and I’m buying a new top to wear,” I admitted. It was the first time I had acknowledged my impending date with Edward to anyone, and I felt a thrill of excitement as I did so.

Lauren raised her eyebrows. “Oh? Good guy?”

“The best, of course,” I replied. “See you later, Lauren. I’m going to check my email and then pop in on the interns, and I’m gone for the weekend.”

She waved me on and mouthed goodbye as she picked up her telephone, stopping the loud ringing sound quickly.

As I expected, there were no emails of importance, and when I stepped into the conference room where the interns were sorting and dating files, they were all so engrossed in their work that I scarcely got a nod from them. I smiled and backed away from the door, my purse already in hand as I made my way to my car.

I pulled out of the parking lot and grinned as I headed toward Michigan Avenue. Nordstrom’s was calling my name. It was rare that I dropped a whole lot of money on clothing. I preferred nice but tried-and-true skirts and slacks; I usually just went to Express in a nearby mall to shop, but for a date with Edward, I wanted to buy myself something perfect: sexy but classy and comfortable.

The ride to the store was filled with music from the random mix CD that Emmett had given me. “This is just damn good music, Bella. You need to have it,” he’d said, and as I sang along with Andrea Bocelli as best I could, I smiled. I really did have the best brother on the planet.

I was still humming as I walked into the first floor entrance, and as soon as the sounds of the lilting piano met my ears, a woman asked, “Can I help you?”

“No, thank you, though. I think I know exactly what I want.” I smiled widely at her and hurried past her. The scent of freshly baked bread and coffee wafted in my direction from their café, tempting me to stop in, but I was determined to make it in and out of the store quickly.

As I walked into the women’s department, I paused for a second, trying to determine what color I wanted to wear.

From the corner of my eye, a vibrant red shirt stood out. I walked toward it, and I fell a little more in love with each step as I neared the rack it hung on.

It was a one-shouldered top in deep red silk. The shell was thin and sleeveless, and the pleated bodice had a thick shoulder strap that crossed my back diagonally. It would look almost as though I had a ribboned shawl wrapped around my body, and I loved the subtle detailing.

Immediately, I envisioned pairing it with my black pinstriped skirt, and my only extremely expensive pair of shoes. They had cost me an exorbitant amount of money, but they were black, lace bow peep toe platform Dolce & Gabbana heels. The strap around the ankle buckled, but my favorite detail was the velvet lining inside. That had been the deciding factor as I stood there ogling them on my feet in the mirror at the store.

I could find accessories to wear in my vast collection, I decided, and rushed to the dressing room and then the register to make my purchase.

To say I was excited was an understatement. The shirt was perfect – beautiful, sexy, and classy, and the fact that Edward would be able to see my body beneath the thin material - and that it would hug me in all of the right places – was not lost on me.

The girl at the register was sweet. I slid my Visa toward her, bought the shirt, and happily took the bag from her when the transaction was complete.

I was almost skipping on my way out of the store.

Emmett’s birthday was coming up soon, and I intended to find a gift for him while I was out. I immediately turned toward the electronics store. I was cataloging the ten or so things that I remembered were on his Amazon Wish List when a voice called out from behind me.

“Bella?”

It couldn’t be.

I turned around. Rose was walking toward me, a small smile on her face, with sunglasses perched atop her head. “Bella,” she said as she got closer to me. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Hey, Rose,” I replied. “Yeah, I don’t shop here much, I guess.”

She was gorgeous, of course. The first night we met flooded my memory. I could so clearly see the dress she wore, the way her eyes looked in the light.

And of course, I could remember other things that I probably shouldn’t have thought about in public.

“Anything special you’re looking for?” she asked.

I nodded, and the half-truth came easily. “Emmett’s birthday is next month, so I was looking for something for him.” I shook the bag, implying my purchase was within it, and she grinned.

“You’re really thoughtful; aren’t you?” she asked.

I shrugged. “When I want to be.”

“You want to go to lunch? We need to talk, and now’s as good a time as any.”

I stared at her for a brief moment, moderately annoyed that she seemed so flippant about whatever it was she wanted to talk to me about, but then her voice lowered to half its previous volume as she said, “Please.”

“Alright. Where to?”

That small smile was back on her face as she replied, “There’s a Panera a couple blocks over. Will that work?”

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s fine. Do you mind if I meet you over there? I need to toss this into my trunk.”

“Not at all, Bella,” she said.

There was an odd, uncomfortable silence as we walked together back through the store toward the exit. Our heels clicked along the floor, and the bags containing our purchases swished in rhythm with our steps, but other than that, there was no sound between the two of us.

I was shockingly angry at her casual demeanor, and when we reached the door, I quickly said, “Well, I’ll meet you over there,” and walked away.

When I reached my car and looked back at the door, of course Rosalie was gone, but I pressed the key into the ignition anyway, and slowly moved the car in the direction of the restaurant. I tossed the bag into the backseat.

As I drove, I swallowed back my anger, wanting to give Rosalie the same chance to apologize as I had given Edward. Besides, the fact remained that I missed her just as badly as I missed him.

Rose drove through a light that I happened to get stuck at, and as I sat there in absolute silence – I hadn’t even bothered to turn the radio on when I’d arrived at my vehicle – I wondered what she wanted to say.

I had some guesses. I was almost positive that she would give me some kind of apology; after all, she had been visibly upset when she’d rushed out after Edward that night. But aside from that, I had no fucking clue. Did she want to be friends? Get lunch on the regular? Hang out on the weekends? And more importantly, was it possible that she knew I was seeing Edward on Saturday, or that he’d fucked me senseless in his kitchen Tuesday afternoon?

It was strange. I wanted their friendship to remain intact. I knew they’d relied on one another for years, and I didn’t want to be the reason their friendship met its demise, but I wondered if it was even possible that their relationship could remain unfazed after what we’d done.

Guilt crept over me slowly. I mentally kicked it away.

“Ugh,” I groaned aloud, remembering how much I hated the unknown.

Before I knew it, I was walking into Panera with Rosalie, and I tried to shove my uncertainty away. We needed to talk; she was right. And so, we would.

Rose gestured for me to go ahead of her, and once we reached the counter of the strangely empty Panera, I ordered a tomato and mozzarella panini. Before I could pull out my debit card, Rose had ordered a turkey artichoke panini for herself as well as two drinks and slapped her card down on the counter.

“You don’t have to…” I began, but she cut me off.

“I insist, Bella.”

They handed her our pager.

I nodded in assent and followed her to a table. As we settled into our chairs, I realized I was suddenly hyper aware of everything in the restaurant. The clinking of silverware against plates, the employees chattering, the paper the older man across the restaurant was reading as he folded it in half and leaned down for a closer inspection of what I assumed was the daily crossword.

Just as I was wondering who would speak first, Rosalie’s voice swept over me, calm and quiet.

“Bella, look. I’m not going to give you some big, sugary apology. The way our last night was handled was wrong; we…I should have called you sooner. I can’t imagine what you must have felt when we ran out on you.” She paused, looking thoughtful for a second. “I’m sorry. Really, I am.”

I stared at her for a beat, and just as I was about to respond, the pager went off.

“Ah,” she breathed. “I’ll…be right back.”

I stared at the table as she walked away, quickly returning with our late lunch. I grabbed my sandwich and she hers, and finally, I took a breath and started to talk.

“You know, Rose, I was really pissed off at first. I mean, hell, we were all in it together, you know? And I still believe we – not just me, all three of us – deserved some kind of better…I don’t know…ending? Edward running out of my apartment and you following him?” I heard my voice growing antagonistic, which I hadn’t intended on happening, and Rosalie’s eyebrows shot upward as she held her palm up in front of me.

Her voice was quiet, but clearly angry, an emotion I’d never seen or heard in Rosalie. The emotion flashed bright in the cerulean of her eyes. “You stop right there. He’s my best friend. It will always be him, if there’s ever a choice.”

I sipped my iced tea and considered her words.

My initial reaction was to be offended, but upon further inspection, hadn’t she just shown that she and Edward could –no, would – remain friends, no matter what? I shook off the offense and looked her in the eye.

“I understand that,” I replied. “I do.” I bit my bottom lip, staring at the sandwich before me and realizing I wasn’t hungry in the slightest. “Rose?”

“Hmm?” She looked at me as she chewed her first bite of food and lifted her eyebrows.

I cleared my throat. “Have you talked to Edward since that night?”

Her eyes flickered to the table and then back to mine as she finished chewing and then swallowed. “A little. It’s been strained, definitely, but we’ve both decided we needed some time to work through things. We’ll be fine.”

She was confident, which made me happy.

“Have you talked to Edward?” she asked, sounding genuinely curious.

I faltered for a moment. Edward had never expressed that I should hide our impending date from Rosalie, but we had decided on no exclusivity before. I debated internally regarding what to say.

“He called. To apologize,” I said. Another half-truth. Jesus fucking Christ, Bella Swan, when did you become such a liar?

She nodded. “I thought he would.”

Finally, I decided to take a bite of my sandwich, and as the flavors of tomato and melted cheese filled my palate, Rosalie asked, “So, I assume you’re not seeing anyone then?”

I shook my head, glad that I was chewing and unable to answer.

“Bella, I…Look, I was wondering if I could take you out. I know it might be strange for you, being with me in public. I know you’ve never been with a woman before me, so I can definitely understand if you’re leery, but I had to ask because, frankly, I can’t get you off of my mind.”

Speechless didn’t begin to describe me in that moment.

My lips parted as I tried to find the words to respond to the last possible thing I had expected to occur.

Rosalie exhaled loudly and looked at me. “I know we said no one-on-one dating, Bella, but…will you let me have you? Again?”

This time when she spoke, there was vulnerability there, and her tone was beseeching. Her hand crept forward on the table, reaching for mine, but stopped short, an inch or two of the table top still visible between our fingertips.

My lips moved all on their own.

“What did you have in mind?”

The smile she volleyed across the table at me in response was so gorgeous that for the first time in weeks, I remembered how inadequate her beauty could make me feel. I took in her perfect lips, the blue of her eyes, the gentle wave of her blonde hair.

She told me what she was planning and it sounded wonderful; we decided on a date and, with a brief hug and a light brush of her lips against my cheek, went our separate ways.

I had made plans to have an early dinner with Angela before we all met up at Breeze, so as soon as I walked through my front door, I went into my room and hung up my new shirt in the closet. I bit my bottom lip, looking through the clothes hanging on the rod before finally pulling out a thin blue v-neck sweater and a pair of dark gray pants.

After stopping by my dresser for clean underwear, I took my clothes to the bathroom and hung them from the hook on the back of the door. Then, I started my shower, letting the water warm as I piled my hair on top of my head in a messy bun. I had an hour or so before I needed to leave to meet Angela, and after the turn for the better that my life had taken in the last few days, I felt like pampering myself a little.

I took my time showering, letting the hot water run over my body, erasing all the subtle aches and pains that sitting at my desk at work always seemed to generate. I enjoyed the mix of fragrances as I used my facial scrub and shaved my legs, and when I stepped out of the tub, I felt clean and soft and beautiful.

Smiling at myself in the mirror, I dried and dressed slowly, taking a little extra time with my make-up than I normally would have. By the time I was finished, I still had a few minutes left before I needed to leave, and I found myself sitting out on my balcony with a glass in hand. I sipped my cold water, tasting the faint hint of lemon as the cold liquid moved down my throat.

I spent those few minutes thinking about my Rose and my Edward, focusing on only the good – that I had seen them both, that I would see them again. Soon.

We had so many issues we needed to work through, but I thought we were taking the first steps. And holy hell, it had felt good to be in Edward’s arms again…

A smile flitted across my lips as I drank the last of my water, replaying that afternoon in Edward’s condo. I was excited with the knowledge that I would see him again in just over twenty-four hours, and I wondered what our evening together would bring.

Speakeasy…

I shook my head, giving a soft laugh as I stood and went back inside. I put my glass in the sink, picked up my purse, and headed out the door.

In no time, I was meeting Angela in front of Taxim. It was one of her favorite restaurants, and I’d suggested it as a treat for her when she asked if we could get together. I hadn’t seen much of any of my friends since I first met Rosalie and Edward, but of them all, it was Angela I missed most.

I was vaguely nervous, wondering what she wanted to talk about because she was never one for idle chatter. Unlike Jessica, she didn’t gossip, and she didn’t push.

But she did worry.

I repressed my sigh as I hugged her, and I smiled into her hair when she squeezed me tightly around the waist and thanked me for meeting her. As we walked into the restaurant together, that relaxing atmosphere that she carried with her began to wash over me, easing some of the tension I hadn’t known I was carrying.

We sat at the table and looked over the menu, talking idly about work. She was telling me about how stressful the week had been for her, which was so hard for me to picture because she was generally the very definition of unflappable.

Just as the waiter approached, she said, “It was so awful, Bella! I must’ve changed my password, but I couldn’t remember what it was, and I ended up locking myself out of my email. Our new tech guy, Ben, had to come reset it for me.”

She trailed off as the waiter smiled down at us with a slightly amused expression. We ordered – a duck gyro for Angela and braised lamb for me – and then I noticed that she was blushing.

I raised an eyebrow, struggling not to grin. Angela didn’t blush. Ever.

Smiling, I prompted, “So Ben had to come help you…”

The red on her cheeks brightened as soon as she heard his name. She nodded, groaning as she filled me in on the rest of the story. With Angela, I tried to follow her lead – not push, let her tell me things in her own time – but finally, I had to know.

“This Ben…is he cute?”

She actually sighed, a soft little sound that matched the adorable smile on her face, and it warmed me to see her this way. It was rare to see Angela interested in someone – at least to this extent.

She was more animated than usual, and she actually seemed almost giddy at times, but she kept coming back to the same idea: there was no way Ben would ever notice her. She was shy and quiet, and she thought she was mousy. Looking over my friend with her gorgeous dark hair and wide, expressive dark eyes, I thought she was insane. And I told her so.

She rolled her eyes, sighing before whispering, “Thanks.”

We were nearly finished eating when she put her napkin beside her plate and said, “Bella, can I ask you something?”

I chewed slowly, taking as much time as I could before I swallowed the bite of lamb. I had an idea of what she was going to ask, but no idea at all of what I should say. “Sure, Ang…what’s up?”

My tone was nonchalant, but my brow furrowed as I took in the concerned expression on her face.

“I don’t mean to pry…” she began, and just hearing her say it made me smile. I reached out, squeezing her hand as I reassured her that it was perfectly fine. She flashed me a smile and nodded. “Did something happen with that man you were seeing?”

I took a sip of my water to buy myself a little time. Leave it to Angela to not ask, “Are you okay?” and let me brush it off with a laugh. She was always specific, and she was never wrong. She saw through to the heart of things.

My mind was racing, rushing through possible answers. I don’t know why I didn’t just tell her, exactly. She was so completely opposite Jessica that I knew she wouldn’t judge me – and she wouldn’t go running off to tell the rest of our friends. But with the mess things were in right now, even if it did seem like our relationships were getting back on track, I just…couldn’t.

So I shrugged and frowned, saying, “Things just got a little…” I trailed off, trying to think of a way to put the whole relationship into perspective without getting into everything. “Weird,” I finished lamely.

“Weird?”

I nodded. “Yeah…it was one of those things that started out intense, but that can’t last forever, right?” Angela frowned but nodded, squeezing my hand before dropping it. “I’m still seeing him and…umm…someone else. I guess we’ll see what happens.”

She looked at me shrewdly, and I knew she noticed my evasiveness. “Were you seeing this other person before, too?”

My eyes widened, but I tried to cover it by taking a drink of my water. I set the glass down, licking my lips before I said simply, “Yes.”

“But things got weird…and now you’re seeing them both again?”

Her voice was gentle, but the look she gave me clearly said, Bella, they’re your exes for a reason.

I gave her a tiny smile and nodded. “It’s alright, Ang. I’m being careful. I promise.”

She frowned, her forehead creasing with worry, but she let it drop. She changed the subject, telling me about her twin brothers. They were nine years younger, and she had taken them the weekend before to get their learners’ permits. Isaac and Joshua were mischievous, and Angela often felt bad for her mother. She had been so easy to raise – just going to her room, reading her books, always listening to her parents – that the two boys were a shock to the system, so Angela helped out whenever she could.

Plus, she just really liked her brothers – that was one of the things we’d initially bonded over.

Soon, we left the restaurant. We were going to be taking separate cars so we didn’t have to deal with straightening them out later. As we were parting on the sidewalk, Angela hugged me, and I chuckled as I stretched up on my toes while she bent down.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” she whispered, and I nodded, unable to speak.

That was all she said, and when she pulled away, she was smiling, letting me know that was the last time she’d bring it up. I was so torn, wanting so much to confide in someone, but it just wasn’t time.

We said our goodbyes and went to our cars. A few minutes later, we met up again just outside of Breeze and walked inside together, going straight to the large table in the back where we usually sat. All my friends were there that night, and we talked and laughed together, but my eyes were drawn continually to the bar.

To the place where I had first met Edward and Rosalie.

Strangely, I felt hollow, empty and alone somehow, even though I was surrounded by my friends. They were chattering, telling stories, asking questions…including me in everything, but my mind was far away. I sipped my drinks all night, smiling, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling.

It was a relief when I finally said good night to everyone and headed home. I hadn’t been expecting this strange melancholy, not when I’d been so excited all week about seeing Edward tomorrow night. The drive passed quickly, and soon I was walking toward my apartment.

Before I stepped into my place, my phone rang in my pocket. It was Rosalie. At once, some of the emptiness seemed to melt away, filled with warmth as soon as I saw her name on my phone’s screen.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey, Bella,” she began. “I know it’s late, but I just wanted to say thanks for meeting with me today. And for agreeing to our spa day.”

I smiled. “It’s quite literally my pleasure, Rose,” I replied.

There was a pause, the line completely silent, and then she said, “I don’t think we should tell Edward we’re seeing each other, Bella. I know that’s deceitful, and I feel like crap about it, but…”

I cut her off. “No, I get it.” I looked around my kitchen, suddenly frantic to be able to think for a minute. “Hey, Rose, look, I gotta go. I’m sorry to cut this short, but we can definitely talk further next week, okay?”

She laughed lightly on the other end of the line. “It’s really fine, Bella. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“Okay, Rose.”

We hung up, and I immediately walked outside to my patio, taking a seat on the chair there, the breeze cold against my exposed skin.

“I don’t think we should tell Edward we’re seeing each other, Bella,” she’d said.

My phone was still in my hand. I dialed without thinking.

“Bella, hello,” he answered.

“Hey, Edward. How are you?” I asked.

“I’m well. How are you, Bella? It’s late. Is everything alright?”

I took a deep breath and barged down my intended path. “I ran into Rose at the mall today.”

Edward sniffed. “Oh?”

“Yes. Edward, did you tell her you and I are going out?”

I heard him take a deep breath and finally, he said, “Bella, I just don’t think it’s a good idea…right now. I want to tell her…but, honestly, I’ve seen her once since that night, and I don’t think my coming out and saying that you and I are dating is something I want to do quite yet.”

I made my voice playful. “So, you’re keeping me a secret, are you?”

He snickered. “From Rose, for the moment, yes. I just think it could get…awkward…given our history.”

Once again, they were acting as one, but they didn’t even know it.

“I suppose I can handle that,” I replied. “I just wanted to call and say hello, and that I ran into her. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes, you will. Good evening, Bella,” he said.

“Oh, Edward?”

“Hmm?”

I grinned. “Think of me tonight,” I said, my voice low and raspier than normal.

I thought I could hear him swallow thickly before he mumbled, “I will,” and hung up the line.

I stared at my phone, holding the power button down until it turned off, and then placed it on the small table next to me.

There were a million thoughts racing through my mind, but a handful were more prominent than others.

Edward had called me and arranged for a night out on the town. Then, he’d planned a spur-of-the-moment lunch and given me the best damn quickie I’d ever had in my life.

Rosalie had called me, run into me haphazardly, taken me to lunch, and asked to pamper me for a day at a spa in downtown Chicago.

They both wanted me to keep our dates a secret because they weren’t prepared to tell one another about our impending relationships.

I wanted to keep our dates a secret, quite frankly, because they did.

I mulled that over for a while, trying to determine when on earth I’d become such a manipulative bitch. Or was I?

I realized that I’d never been ready to give them up. When they had run out on me, it had hurt in deeper ways than I could explain; it had made me question my self-worth, whether I was attractive or not, and whether perhaps I was morally deficient for involving myself with two friends as I had.

Therefore, there was a part of me that wanted to continue down the road with them, pursuing relationships in whatever way I could – solo or not – with Edward and Rosalie.

The fact remained that they were both prepared to keep secrets from one another, and they’d decided this, yet again, without my consent, without talking to me at all, without even considering that I might have an opinion.

I could do the same.

As invested in the both of them as I was, I was slightly perturbed at how they’d handled this, yet again. The failure to communicate and let me be part of the process was missing, yet again. And I vacillated between anger and frustration and sheer joy in the face of seeing them both again.

Could I really date them both and keep it a secret? Did I have that energy? Did I really want to?

I was sure as fuck going to try.

Chapter 7 ~ Chapter 9

Exposure Chapter 7 - Edge of Desire

2009-12-19T22:17:00.000-08:00

I stared at the phone for a few seconds and swallowed loudly. I had to answer it but was struck by such intense emotion at the idea of Edward calling me that my fingers were trembling lightly as I lifted the phone and flipped it open.

“Hello?” I answered, my voice lifting at the end of the word as though I was either completely clueless regarding who was calling or had been expecting him to call all along.

“Bella.” He said my name like a statement, with relief, and I had to admit…I liked it.

“Edward?” I looked across the room and into a mirror at myself and scowled. The upward inflection was getting annoying, and that shit wasn’t me.

“Bella…” He breathed my name quietly, and then continued, “It’s so good to hear your voice.”

I licked my lips and shifted my weight back and forth on my heels before replying. “Yours as well, Edward. Is there something…?”

“Bella, I’m sorry to cut you off, but I just…wanted to apologize. We shouldn’t have left you alone like we did. I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the best of me; I should have handled it like a real man would have and explained what was going on with me. I know we hurt you…”

Suddenly, anger flew to the top of my awareness. It was all I could see, all I could feel, and I exclaimed, “You know you hurt me? How could you? You ran out of here like a bat out of hell and then didn’t call for an entire fucking week.”

The line was silent for a minute. “Bella, I can explain.”

I cut him off. “You can? Because I really don’t see what other information I need aside from the fact that you freaked the fuck out and left without a thought to anyone else in the room.”

“I can understand if you hate us…” he began. “Hate me…”

I listened to him take a ragged breath and crossed my arm over my stomach. It felt tight, as though I was about to be sick, and my anger was flooding the room, drowning me as he considered his next words. I focused on the pressure of my hand over my hip, measuring my breathing in an attempt to calm down. I realized then, in spite of all of my anger, I could never – would never – hate Edward, and that realization helped my anger begin to dissipate when nothing else worked. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke.

“Bella…Bella, I just…It’s…”

Edward didn’t stutter. Edward was confident, poised, self-assured. Sexy. Smart.

Fuck.

I couldn’t handle him losing himself in his words, so I finally asked softly, “What is it you want, Edward?”

I was exhausted suddenly. It was as though every emotion I’d felt in the last week – joy in Emmett’s presence, frustration at work, sadness and confusion over the demise of my threesome relationship, anger over Edward’s simple words – had come crashing down on me ,and suddenly, my body was heavy. I couldn’t bear my own weight; I needed a reprieve in whatever way was possible, so I walked slowly to the couch and sat in the corner, curling my legs beneath me and letting my head loll back against the sofa.

Silence reigned once again on the line, and I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, waiting for him to speak in response to my question.

When he did, I was floored.

“You,” he finally answered, and then continued in a softer voice. “I just couldn’t do it, Bella. I couldn’t watch you with someone else…even Rose. I just…I just want to get to know you. I was…am…calling because I was wondering if you might agree to have lunch with me…just to talk. I n-…I want to see you again.”

I heard my intake of breath. Could Fate really be giving me my Edward back, and so quickly after it had Rosalie call me? It seemed too good to be true and I felt a bit like everything would change if I blinked, so out of girly ridiculousness, I did.

Nothing changed.

I could hear Edward’s breathing on the other end of the line, and I didn’t have to think twice. “Of course I’ll have lunch with you, Edward. I’d like to get to know you, too.”

I heard him sigh in relief, and then when he spoke, I could hear his smile. “I’m so glad, Isabella.”

His deep voice seemed to trail down my spine as he said my full first name, the ghost of his fingertips playing on my sensory memory, and I shivered involuntarily as he continued to speak.

“Oh, you know what? I have a better idea,” he began, his voice bold and more confident, more like my Edward. “Would you like to come with me to my favorite bar? There’s a live jazz band every weekend, and one of my favorites is playing on Saturday.”

“That sounds like fun, Edward,” I answered, and then asked, “Would I know the place?”

He cleared his throat and then the line was quiet for a second. “Sorry,” he finally said. “I needed a sip of water. But yeah, you’ve likely heard of it. Speakeasy.”

My eyebrows lifted of their own freewill. Speakeasy was a Chicago institution…but it was also a list-only bar. I never dreamed I’d be able to set foot inside such an exclusive place, and now not only would I do just that, but I’d be with Edward Cullen? In public?

I was thrilled and nervous and almost doing a dance in my seat when I acknowledged that I did indeed know of Speakeasy.

“So, Bella, will you come with me?”

I felt a faint blush cross my cheeks at the double entendre of his words.

“Of course, Edward. Should I meet you at your place?”

“Surely you jest, Bella. This is a date,” he replied, emphasizing the last word. “I’ll pick you up, and we’ll make a night of it, if that’s alright with you.”

One corner of my lips curved up, and I said, “Well, I thought that much was obvious, Edward.” I paused for emphasis. When I spoke again, my voice was lower, more raspy than normal. “We can do whatever you want.”

He chuckled lowly, and the sound was so seductive, I could almost feel his breath on my skin, his fingers on the small of my back. I closed my eyes, and my lips parted as I exhaled sharply, the sheer desire coursing through my body almost debilitating.

“I’ve missed you, Bella. I’ll call you later this week, and we’ll arrange for Saturday, okay?” I could see his crooked grin and the crazy bronze hair that sat atop his head. It didn’t help me gain any control over how badly I wanted him right then and there, but somehow, I managed not to ask him to come over.

“Definitely. We’ll talk soon,” I murmured.

“Yes. Good night, Bella,” he said.

I sighed quietly and opened my eyes as I said good night in response. I was moving my thumb to disconnect the call when he spoke once more.

“Oh, and Bella? Think of me tonight.”

When the line disconnected, I stood up in silence and walked to my room. I required immediate attention. Edward has made that certain, and my clothes were tossed haphazardly around the floor of my room as I made my way to my bed. I stretched out, enjoying the soft cotton sheets on my sensitive skin, and with every gentle touch of my fingers, I saw his green eyes boring into mine, felt his hands on me, his body inside mine.

Saturday was too far away.

*~*~*

Work on Monday was an amazing thing.

I enjoyed the entire day.

I was extremely productive, the project was underway, and Bitchface Mallory and I actually seemed to get along all day. Riley stopped stalking around after me like some lovesick pup, and even Mike Newton couldn’t derail my genuinely good mood.

I would see my Edward and Rosalie soon. Edward’s apology and our impending date brought such a ridiculous smile to my face it could hardly be described. And, although I had no real idea what Rosalie would want to talk about when we actually got together, I had a feeling that it would go well.

Around 10:00, I was handed the first stack of the one-hundred articles I needed to parse out to my fellow editors. As I handed four to the girl who sat near me – Tanya – she grinned. “You’re lucky. I wish they trusted me to lead up something like this.”

I smiled back at her. “It’s taken a while for me to get here. You will, too,” I replied.

That night, I headed home, happy to have an evening to myself, and made a stellar dinner: an ice cream sundae. It was absolutely delicious, and after I ate, I pulled up my original fiction on my laptop and began to outline a bit. Finally, after one A.M., I made my way to bed, completely content.

The next morning, I showed up at work and jumped right into the thick of things. A few of the interns had had some issues sorting the remaining articles to be edited, and they were in a complete shambles when I arrived. I sat down, my cell phone by my side, and began to assist them in sorting the documents. I was about to complain aloud about how silly I thought it was that we still did so much via hard copy when my phone vibrated on the table.

I looked at the caller ID and grinned. It was a bit early in the day and week, but who was I kidding? I’d been waiting hear from him.

I lowered my voice as I flipped my cell phone open.

“Hello,” I nearly purred.

“Bella, hey,” Edward said, and I could tell he was grinning. “Busy?”

I snickered into the line as I stood up and began to make my way back to my desk. “Well, I am at work, Edward.”

“I know that, love. Was wondering if you could take a long lunch and come to my place. I have a whole spread.”

I giggled like an idiot, and he caught why and began to laugh with me. “Seriously, Bella, that’s not what I meant. I ordered in assuming you’d say yes. You won’t make me waste all the food that’s going to be here in approximately an hour, will you?”

I put on a straight face and said, as seriously as possible, “No, of course not. I’ll come over, but only for the sake of the food.”

He laughed, and this time it was a full-on belly laugh, and I wondered if I’d heard a happier sound. “So, I’ll see you in an hour? You’re sure you can take an extended lunch? I know my condo is a bit of a drive from the magazine…”

“It shouldn’t be a problem,” I answered. “See you soon.”

I giggled again, this time under my breath, and “checked my email” for the next half hour.

The minutes eked by, but finally, I stood, pulled on my jacket, grabbed my bag, and walked to Lauren’s office. Our new rapport made my work life much easier, so I expected no flack when I asked her for an extra lunch hour.

“Sure, Swan. The project’s looking good; they can file documents without your help, I’m sure.” She shot me a smile. “I hope, at least.”

I grinned in response and waved as I walked quickly, the distance from my office to my car suddenly inexplicably far.

After my day with Em, I’d burned a copy of the Reality Bites soundtrack and was shimmying around in my driver’s seat to the beat of The Knack, once again, when I pulled into Edward’s parking lot. I decided to let the song finish, and as it played out, I let my memory take me back to the first night with Edward and Rosalie. I remembered how intensely sexy I’d felt, how Edward – and Rose – made me feel the very definition of wanted, feminine, and beautiful. I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly as I thought of the rest of our nights, and before I knew it, the song was over, and I was staring out of my windshield with a quiet smile on my face.

I left my jacket in the car and walked briskly to the door of his building. I smiled at the doorman, who nodded in response, and I found myself wondering if he’d learn to recognize me the way Damien had on Friday nights. As I stepped into the elevator, I realized I was excited to be able to have some true one-on-one time with Edward – I wanted to ask him so many silly questions that we’d never been able to broach in our time together. What was his favorite color? How old was he when he kissed a girl for the first time? Who was his hero?

I fingered the edge of my purse as I walked down the hall toward his door, my heels clicking with each step.

Yes, I was excited to get to know Edward Cullen.

I knocked twice, and he answered, and it was as though my memory hadn’t done him justice. He stood before me dashing, charming, and almost cavalier in his pose: one hand pressed against the frame of the door and the other on the handle, his hair in its natural state of chaos, and on his lips, a smirk that couldn’t be rivaled, ever, it was so sexy.

And his eyes.

His eyes were dark emerald, glittering with hints of jade. They were focused on me, and his gaze felt like heat running over my skin.

I managed a smile up at him, and he finally leaned down, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. “Bella, I’m really glad you could make it on such short notice.”

“I am, too,” I answered honestly. His arms were still encasing me, and I angled my face upward to look at him. His cologne surrounded me and smelled fucking fantastic, but I somehow asked, “So, what did you order?”

“Café Orchid. I hope you like their food,” he answered, and slowly unwound his arms from me. “I realized I didn’t check when we spoke earlier, and that’s not really the kind of thing I know about you.”

I nodded, and he turned, leading the way into his kitchen. As he stepped away from me, I could have sworn I heard him murmur, “Yet,” under his breath, and I felt my smile grow.

When we arrived there, the counters were covered with containers of various sizes, all opened and allowing their scents to waft around the room, creating a delicious aroma. It seemed that Edward had ordered for ten instead of two, and, I saw dolmas, hummus, falafal, a tray of vegetables with dipping sauce, baked eggplant, rice, and three types of kebabs.

“This is quite a bit of food, Edward,” I said. He turned to me and ran a hand through his hair.

As he nodded, he said, “I realized I had no idea what your favorites were.” He frowned slightly, a hint of frustration visible in the tightening of his eyes.

“I like it all, for future reference. Middle-Eastern and Mediterranean food are quite possibly tied for my number three favorite cuisine.”

He smiled and reached forward, taking a small pita chip and dipping it into the hummus near him. “What are numbers one and two?”

“Indian and Italian,” I answered with a smile. “So, what else would you like to know about me?” I asked, picking up a pita chip myself and walking over to him.

He looked at me, his eyes open and somehow wild at the same time, and he said, “Everything, Bella.”

“Everything?” I asked, popping the small chip into my mouth, chewing and swallowing quickly.

He nodded. “Everything.” He paused and picked up another pita chip, dipped it into hummus, and turned to me. “I want to know what made you move to Chicago from Washington. I want to know what your favorite day of the week is. I want to know,” he paused and lifted the chip to my lips, “where you got that scar on your inner thigh from, because it’s shaped like the letter y, which just seems strange.” I parted my lips for him and allowed him to feed me. I took a bite of the chip and began to chew as he continued to speak. “I want to know your greatest regret. I want to know your greatest fear. I want to know where you most want to visit in the world, so I can take you there.”

This man – this amazingly attractive, sweet, thoughtful man – wanted to know me inside and out, and when he pressed his thumb to the corner of my mouth to wipe away a bit of stray hummus, I couldn’t help myself.

I turned my face and took his thumb between my lips, running my tongue over it as I met his gaze with my own.

“Bella,” he said softly. His eyes were downcast, and before he looked at me, I took note of the length of his dark lashes against the light tone of his skin. “I promise that’s…this isn’t…I really did just want to talk.”

I sucked lightly on his thumb and then gingerly wrapped my fingers around his wrist as I pulled his hand downward and away from my lips. “And now?”

The ivy of his eyes moved quickly from bright and alive to dark with desire, and before I could blink, his lips were on mine. I moaned softly, pressing closer against him, but before I could deepen our kiss, he turned me around in his arms. As his mouth sucked at the place where my shoulder met my neck, he slid his hands down my sides, finally pressing them inward, toward my navel.

I threw my head back against his shoulder, and he moved his lips up my throat, finally taking my earlobe between his teeth. As he bit down gently, I moaned and clamped my eyes firmly shut. I shifted to my right so that I could put my hands on the kitchen island, if only to give myself something to hold onto as he yanked my shirt from the waist of my pants. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the island, and as I moved, I pressed my ass back into his legs.

I felt his erection pressing against my thigh, feeling the heat even through the fabric between us, and suddenly, I was so ravenous for him – every part of him – that I yanked my shirt up and over my head, throwing it to the floor with abandon.

“Bella.” He growled my name, and I felt heat pulsating between my legs. I had to have him. I needed him.

I looked over my shoulder at him and watched as he yanked his own shirt off and shoved his pants down, letting them pool at his feet. Edward stepped out of them, and as he began to move my panties downward, I turned my face to his, our lips meeting. My tongue tasted him, and though my eyes were closed, I could feel him moving, his hands abandoning my underwear and going to his instead. I felt his body shifting as he stepped out of his boxers, and I quickly hooked my thumbs in the waist of my panties and slid them down my legs until they could fall on their own.

His hands roved my body roughly, stopping to unclasp my bra and let it drop to the floor before he placed his left hand over my left breast and slid his right hand around my hip. He pulled me back against him, letting me feel his hard body covered in soft, smooth skin as his hand trailed over the flat of my stomach. I inhaled lightly, my body tensing in anticipation before his middle finger slipped between my legs, and I sighed with longing as my hips moved, my ass pressing against his thighs.

I realized the only thing I was wearing was a pair of sassy heels I’d picked out this morning. They were black stilettos. I wondered idly if he liked that kind of thing, but my thoughts quickly scattered as Edward’s voice murmured, “So beautiful…I want you.”

As his index finger caressed me, moving back and forth, I mumbled incoherently. It had been too long. I missed his touch, his lips, the heat of his body. I wanted him inside of me, and I was breathless as he moved the fingers of his left hand from teasing my nipple to the middle of my back before he whispered gruffly into my ear as he slid his right hand away.

“Lean forward, Bella. I’m taking you here and now.”

I whimpered in response. Fucking whimpered. And then, I did as he requested, pressing my elbows onto the top of the island. I was at once thankful that it sat at such an ideal height, and as I leaned forward, my hips were positioned perfectly as Edward bent his knees slightly and, without warning, pressed himself into me in one smooth stroke.

“Oh, fuck,” I murmured, my eyes rolling in sheer pleasure as he stretched and filled me.

“God,” he whispered at the same time. His hands grasped my hips, and I loved how strong they felt, how sure.

He began to move his hips back and forth, slowly at first so that I could feel every inch of him. His hands steadied me as he found his rhythm, hard and fast, and then he leaned forward, putting as little of his weight as possible on me, and slipped his finger back between my legs.

The sensation of his cock pressed into me and his fingers manipulating my clit was so overwhelming that all I could do was gasp for breath. It had been weeks since I’d had him this way, since I’d let him take me, and fuck if it didn’t feel better than I remembered.

“Oh, Jesus, Edward, you feel so fucking good,” I managed, and then pressed my forehead into my forearm as I attempted to stave off my orgasm. I didn’t want this to be over. He felt too good; this felt too perfect. To have his bare skin against mine, and his dick pressing into me with nothing between us was something I had not anticipated, could not have expected. But I was quickly falling apart; I could feel my body beginning to quiver, and beads of perspiration were forming at my hairline.

He groaned in my ear, and his breath was hot on my neck as he said, “Do you know how long I’ve wanted you like this? Just you and me? I…fuck!” His voice cut off as I felt his cock twitch inside me, and I reached down and moved our fingers in the rhythm I needed to finally allow myself to let go.

Coupled with his cock, his fingers, and his orgasm, my release was so intense, my entire body shivered. I was vaguely aware that this was the first time Edward had given me such an amazing experience on his own with no help from Rosalie, but as he began to pull his fingers away from my skin, a final surge of pleasure coursed through me, and the thought fled as I felt myself relax.

Edward was still sheathed within me, so he slowly pulled back. When he was completely removed, I pressed my body upward, and he softly said, “I’ll be right back.”

My legs were trembling, and I wasn’t sure they would support me, so I stayed pressed against the island, my forehead moving to the cool countertop as I worked to catch my breath. When I felt a little more stable, I stood up, brushing back my hair before I looked around the floor of the kitchen and began to pick up my clothing. I’d managed to snag my panties and bra and stand up again when I realized I was completely spent.

Fucking Edward apparently takes a lot out of me, I thought to myself just as he returned to the kitchen.

“Here,” he said softly, all traces of the frenetic man I’d just had sex with gone. Edward handed me a robe – his robe – and as I wrapped it around myself, he picked up his boxers and pulled them back on.

The kitchen was silent for a minute as he gathered the rest of our clothes and handed me my things. I watched as he pulled his shirt back on, appreciating his toned torso as I decided that I really didn’t want to go that long without seeing it – seeing him - again. I raised my eyes, surprised when I realized he’d been watching my face the whole time. I looked into his eyes as he stepped close to me and lifted his hand to my cheek. “That really wasn’t expected,” he whispered.

“I know,” I replied, and he lifted his free hand to my other cheek and kissed me again. This time it was slow, sensual, and I felt myself sigh happily as he pulled away. He smiled at me tenderly and ran his thumb along my cheekbone before his lips turned ever-so-slightly downward.

“Time flies, I guess,” he said, his eyes flitting to the clock behind me.

He dropped his hands to my shoulders, and I turned just to my right, so that I could see the clock. I had forty-five minutes until I had to get back to work. When I looked back at Edward, I shot him a petulant look without even intending to, and he smiled. “I know…” he whispered, “but we’ll see each other Saturday, Bella.”

“I don’t want to go back to work,” I whined, crossing my arms over my chest.

“And I don’t want you to,” he responded immediately.

I stared into his green eyes and smiled. “So, you’re picking me up, yes?”

“Yes. I’ll be driving my favorite car, too, and I have a feeling you’ll like it. I only use it on very special occasions, but I think a date with you fits that bill perfectly.” He smiled down at me and placed his right hand on the island near my hip.

“I’m excited. Is that really freaking nerdy?” I asked.

He shook his head and laughed. “Not in the least. I am, too.”

“Alright then,” I replied. “I better get dressed.”

“Of course.”

I let go of the sides of the robe and pulled on my underwear, giving Edward a full-frontal view, but really, there was no reason for me to be nervous in front of him. We’d done this plenty of times before.

I turned away from him, grabbing my shirt from the counter and, after I’d pulled it over my head and was fastening my skirt at the small of my back, I said, “I moved here because Emmett came here for college, and I missed him too much to stay so far away.” I walked toward him and smiled as I reached him, kissing him lightly. “We can get into the rest of your questions on Saturday.”

I was rewarded with one of his crooked smiles and after a moment, he walked me to the door. “Goodbye, Bella. See you this weekend,” he said.

“Bye, Edward!” I replied, and quickly made my way down the hall and to the elevator.

I made it back to work with a few minutes to spare and the rest of the day flew by. It seemed that my lunch hour quickie had inspired me to kick it into high gear, and by the time I looked at the clock again, it was already seven PM and I was an hour into overtime I hadn’t planned to work. The magazine was coming together nicely, and we were in our final round of editing. I deposited the first set of articles to our design department to determine the layout of the pages on my way out the door.

That night, I dreamed of Edward, and it was good.

Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 8

Exposure Chapter 6 - What the Hell Have I?

2009-12-19T22:16:00.000-08:00

The work week went by at such a slow pace, I pretty much wanted to slit my wrists. By the time five o’clock came around, I was pulling my hair out, dying from my apparent inability to relax. I couldn’t sit still, and even though the week was productive after that atrocious Wednesday, I was still plagued with thoughts.

It was like my sensory memory wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone.

I would be standing in the break room, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, and I could feel Rose’s hands on my stomach, teasing before she lowered her mouth to my flesh. The silky feel of her imaginary lips would raise goose bumps on my skin, and I’d shiver, wrapping my arms my waist in a futile attempt to warm myself and ward against my all-too-vivid memories.

While I was standing at the copier, I’d suddenly see Edward’s eyes before me, green and dark and deep, and despite the fact that I knew he wasn’t actually there, I would stand, my eyes unfocused, as I remembered what his eyes on me felt like. The residual heat generated by his gaze would grow, beginning in my cheeks and spreading down my neck over my breasts…travelling all along my body before I would finally stop myself and shake my head.

It was over.

I needed to get over them and move on with my life, only…I knew I couldn’t.

Lauren stopped into my office again on Thursday morning, saying she wanted me to head up an editing project that would entail one hundred articles over the next four weeks. I was tasked with doling them out to my fellow editors, and because those articles took precedence over everything else in the office, I would not be subjected to Mike Newton’s boring ass dribble - or anyone else’s for that matter. When I asked whet the articles were for, she replied that the magazine’s higher ups were trying to create a special double issue for the summer, and it was important that everything be taken care of the right way to ensure we met our deadline.

I knew it was major that she’d assigned this project to me, that it meant I was finally gaining a little respect around the magazine, but still, I couldn’t shake the loneliness I felt. I wanted to be happy that my career was finally fucking taking off, but I couldn’t.

After I made it home Thursday evening and realized I was still moping, even after a nice dinner and a glass of wine, I decided I really had to do something. It was one thing to miss Edward and Rosalie like nobody’s business, but it was completely unacceptable to let what had happened suck every shred of happiness from my life.

It was in that vein that I called the one person that could always make me happy: my amazing and wonderful and hilarious brother Emmett.

“Hey, pipsqueak,” he answered when I called.

“Whatever, Goliath,” I replied, already grinning at his jovial voice even as he made fun of my small stature.

“What’s up, Bells?” he asked, and I could hear him shuffling papers around, so I assumed he was still at the office.

I sighed. I knew my brother, and my brother knew me, so I was fully aware that there would be no way to hide the fact that I was in a bit of an emo funk from him. So, I just bit the bullet. “I was wondering if I could steal you for a few hours this weekend. I need some Emmett time,” I replied, trying to convey that I really didn’t want to talk about…anything. Yet.

I could hear him put the papers down, and I could almost see him lean back in his chair as his brow furrowed.

But Emmett knew me inside and out, so he didn’t pry.

“Of course, B. Feel like a museum?” he asked, referring to one of our favorite ways to waste time. It occurred to me then that during my time with Edward and Rose, I had largely neglected my big brother, and I felt like an asshole all over again.

“How about the zoo?” I asked.

His smile came through the phone and wrapped around me, and I felt immediate comfort. Emmett could always lift me up. “Bella! That…may be the best damn idea you’ve had all year,” he said. “Saturday afternoon?”

“Yes!” I replied, excitedly. The idea of spending an evening with Em cured my emo, and I felt my steps lighten, somehow. “Hey, Em?” When I continued, my voice was quieter, and he didn’t respond, just listening because he knew I wasn’t quite finished. “Sorry I’ve been distant lately. I’ve missed you.”

He sighed into the phone and said, “I love you, Hell’s Bells. Don’t you forget it, alright?”

I told him I wouldn’t, and we hung up. As I curled up on my couch, a thin blanket thrown over my legs, I felt a little bit of peace for the first time in a week.

Friday seemed to go by quicker than the rest of the week, despite the fact that it was the one week anniversary of the renewed relationship between me and my vibrator, and I decided that Breeze was in order, even if it would remind me of Edward and Rose. Fleetingly, I wondered if I would run into one of them there, and if I did, how awkward it would be, but I ignored those thoughts and focused on being able to spend the entire evening with Jess, Ang, and Kristen.

By ten o’clock, I was shit-faced - and happy as a fucking clam about it. Jessica leaned over to whisper in my ear as Leah deposited another drink before me on the table. “Did he break up with you?” she asked.

I couldn’t help my reaction. I laughed loudly, my eyes clamped shut and my head pressing into the wooden seat behind me. Finally, I gasped for breath and regained enough composure to nod. After giving me a “Jesus, Bella’s a nut job” look, she returned the conversation to James, who happened to be in town that weekend. When I looked across the table, Angela’s brow was furrowed, and she shot a look of concern in my direction.

Jessica had obviously squealed.

Instead of thinking about the fact that it wasn’t one person who broke up with me but two, I downed my drink in record time. Before I knew it, Angela was helping me to stand, and last call had come and gone. She snatched my keys from my purse and gave them to Jessica, who drove me back to my apartment in my car. Angela followed us and gave Jessica a ride to James’.

As I stumbled into my bedroom, I didn’t even bother to turn the lights on. I simply stripped down to my underwear, pulled on a tank top, and fell onto my bed.

Passing the fuck out had never felt so good.

I woke up the next morning when a text message chimed from my purse. Groggily, I sat up and stretched my arms. I arched my back, threw my legs over the side of the mattress, and decided Tylenol was in order for the slight headache I had. I walked to the kitchen, poured myself some ice water, made my way to the bathroom, and took three Tylenol before I finally snagged my phone from my purse.

It was Emmett.

Can I pick you up, B? Is noon alright?

I glanced at the clock. It was 10:30.

Definitely to both. See you soon.

With that, I flipped my phone closed, removed my tank top, panties, and bra, and stepped into the shower, the hot water massaging tension from my shoulders I hadn’t known I was carrying. I washed my hair and put product in it to enhance the curls, and then just spent a few precious moments relaxing beneath the warm spray. After I shut off the water and stepped out, I toweled dry and pulled fresh underwear from my dresser. I slipped into them and then went to my closet, dressing simply: a pair of jeans, a black-and-gray striped tank top, and a black cardigan. As I was pulling socks onto my feet, my brother knocked at the door.

I padded over, feeling the smooth hardwood beneath my sock-covered feet, and opened the door. Em stood there, looking rather dapper for a guy who was simply wearing a green polo shirt and jeans.

“Hey you,” he said, wrapping his brawny arms around me. “How are ya?”

I shrugged under the pressure of his heavy arms. “I’m okay, Em. Ready to get out of here for a while. Just let me put my shoes on, alright?”

He kept his left arm around me and lowered his chin, frowning down at me from the height of his nearly six-and-a-half foot frame. His eyes narrowed to the point that the dark coffee color of his irises – which we shared – was hardly visible. “I’ll get it out of you eventually. You know that,” he said simply.

I grinned and nodded. “I know. I’m just…I’m really not ready to talk about it yet, you know?”

That seemed to appease him, so he released me from his strong grip and let me walk back to my room, where my shoes waited for me. As I sat down on my bed, bending at the waist to pick up my sneakers, I called out, “Do you mind if we pick up coffee first? I am craving a frappuccino.”

“Bells, those things are terrible for you,” he said, and I could hear his voice nearing my doorway. He popped his head into the room with a grin. “So, of course we can stop to pick one up.”

I sighed and stood once I was finished with my shoes. “You’re the best, you know that?” I asked, my head cocked to the right just slightly.

He smirked. “I do, actually,” he replied.

Without thinking, I picked up a pillow from my bed and tossed it at his head. Of course, he ducked and it missed him entirely, but the banter between us had put me into a fabulous mood. I was excited to spend the day with my Emmey.

“Let’s go, loser,” I said, breezing by him. He followed me, I locked my door, and we made our way downstairs to his car, which was parked just in front of my building.

“This is just for you,” he said, gesturing to the radio as he turned the key in the ignition.

I quirked an eyebrow at him and then began to laugh – loudly, I might add – as the music filtered through the speakers. The familiar drumbeat instantly made me shake my head back and forth.

“Ooh, my little pretty one, pretty one

When you gonna give me some time Sharona?”

Without speaking, we both started singing along, and by the time we were a block away from my apartment, we were both laughing. As the end of the verse came up, we reached a stoplight. Emmett and I leaned toward each other, faces hovering over the center console, and crooned out, “My-ee ey-ee by-ee ahee ah woo! Ma ma ma my Sharona!”

Visions of Reality Bites played in my head just as we arrived at the drive-through Starbucks, and Emmett didn’t bother turning the volume down at he ordered my regular: a Caramel Frappucino with no whip.

I handed him a ten, he paid, and we drove off, heading in the direction of the Lincoln Park Zoo with broad smiles on our faces.

When the music quieted, I said, “Sure you brought that for me. Are you positive that you didn’t bring it because Lisa Loeb is has a song on this soundtrack?” in a sly tone.

He grinned over at me. “I have no idea what you mean,” he replied, his face devoid of any emotion save for his easy smile.

I laughed lightly, and we drove the rest of the way to the zoo in that atmosphere – teasing and light-hearted. We parked and paid our admission and immediately moved onto our normal path: the lions and tigers were always our first and last stop of the day.

I sipped my drink as the warm Chicago sun beat down on our shoulders while we moved from the lions before walking by the birds, then giraffes. There, Emmett dropped a couple of quarters into one of the bubble gum machines that spit out something that looked suspiciously like dog food instead of gum. The giraffes had always been a favorite of mine, so he handed the grainy pellets to me, and I held them up, squealing like a little girl when one of the giraffes flicked its long purple tongue out, licking all the way up my forearm.

“Gross!” I yelled, jerking my hand back and doing this weird little dance as I tried to figure out how to get giraffe spit off my arm without wiping it on my clothes. Emmett just chuckled and motioned for me to turn. He reached into my purse and took out a white plastic case, popping it open and pulling out a baby wipe.

“Where the fuck did that come from?” I asked.

He shrugged and started wiping my arm. “You always want to feed the damn giraffes.” A fleeting, fond smile crossed his lips as he finished and then wiped his own hands before tossing the wipe into a nearby trashcan. “And they always do that.” He smirked.

I couldn’t think of something to say in response that wouldn’t sound a little too cheesy, so I settled for a smile. “So you snuck baby wipes into my purse?”

“Well, you are an infant…” He winked at me and held out his arm. I rolled my eyes and slipped my hand into the crook of his elbow, and we kept going. After meandering past the polar bears, we quickly walked around to the other side of the giraffes and then the penguins. It took us forty-five minutes to get that far, thanks to our slow gait and the conversation that naturally ebbed and flowed between us.

We shared a smile when we walked up to Café at Wild Things, our favorite place to stop for lunch at the LPZoo. “Shall we?” I asked, gesturing grandly to the small building that stood before us.

“We shall,” Emmett said in response, a goofy grin on his face. We walked inside and ordered two panini, two bottled waters, and Emmett ordered a salad for himself.

My brother and I took our seats and began to eat. His eyes were narrowed as he chewed, and I knew he was about to ask me what was going on. Before he could, I headed him off, saying, “So…anything new on the dating front for you?”

He grimaced and shook his head. “Nah, not really. It just seems like I meet the same guy over and fucking over, you know?”

I nodded slowly, thinking about the boyfriends Emmett had had over the years. They really did all seem to fit the same sort of mold – big, built, athletic, intelligent, funny.

Pretty much like Emmett.

“I’ve been hanging out with Tyler more…” He trailed off.

I arched an eyebrow. “Really? You two getting back together?”

He shook his head, chuckling as he explained that they knew they weren’t a good couple – they just couldn’t find anyone they liked hanging out with more than each other.

“Yet.” Emmett grinned, his eyes twinkling as I marveled at his eternal optimism. It was very rare to see him down about anything for long.

He wiped his hands on his napkin, took a long sip of his water, and then, he asked what I’m sure he’d been waiting to all day.

“Alright, Isabella Marie.” His voice was stern now, the playfulness gone. “What’s eating you? You were a hot, emo mess when you called me yesterday. What’s up?”

I knew I wasn’t ready to just…come out with all the details regarding Edward and Rose to my brother. Deep down, I knew he wouldn’t judge, but I just wasn’t prepared to think about them in detail yet. But, my brother and I had a deep and abiding mutual respect for one another, so I refused to lie to him as well.

“I’m just…bored. For a while, my life was exciting, you know? And I felt like things were happening for me. And now, despite the fact that work seems to be taking a turn for the better, things with my friends are fine, and fuck, I feel like I’m finally established here, I also feel like I’m lacking. Severely.”

My brother, being the overly observant person that he is, asked, “Well, how’s your writing going? You know how you get when you’re not putting pen to paper, Bells.”

I stared at him as I chewed my turkey and goat cheese, and shrugged. “It’s not.”

He furrowed his brow at me. “At all?” I shook my head in response. The words I’d written the just days before had been progress but I had a long way to go before the novel would even be half complete.. “Bella Swan. You are a writer. Mom would kick your ass if she knew you weren’t using your talents. Hell, maybe I will, on principle.”

I couldn’t help but grin. He had a point.

“You know when you’re not writing, you get all angsty and ridiculous,” he continued. “Are you just too busy with work?”

I nodded. “That’s definitely a part of it. Other than that, I just seem to be lacking inspiration these days,” I answered, and a crystal clear picture of Rose and Edward the night we’d all met flashed in my mind.

“Well, what’s going on with work that has you thinking things are on the upswing?”

I smiled and sipped my water. “The She-Devil told me she wants me to head up a major project and that the magazine could use more arts-centric pieces after the summer.”

“Bella! Fucking sweet!” Emmett cheered, and held his hand up to slap me five. I giggled at my brother’s excited response, and then he said, “I think she’s right. You love art. Maybe you can find a local artist – someone who’s up and coming – and do a write up on them. That way, you can help get their name out and be writing about something that holds your interest.” He paused and laughed. “I read that piece of shit article about beetles in the recent issue…what the hell?”

As the laughter bubbled out of me, I couldn’t help but feel extremely grateful for my big brother. He always knew exactly what to say to cheer me up and support me. We were still joking about fucking Mike Newton’s beetles as we walked out of the café, and I made a mental promise to not leave Emmett out of my life again. He knew me inside and out, and he really did make a good point about me possibly writing up a new artist in the area.

Emmett and I made our way past the seals, the swans – where we took a few minutes to stand and watch them, of course – and finally the zebras before making our way back to the lions.

When we reached the big cats again, we stopped in at the Park Place Café and bought ice cream cones.

Then, we ended our trip to the Zoo as we always did: we found a bench that was nicely shaded and took a seat, and then let the people watching commence.

Emmett took a nibble of his milk chocolate ice cream and pointed out a guy who was standing across the space from us. He had short, dark hair and was wearing fitted jeans and a black t-shirt. When the man turned to face us momentarily, I saw he had chiseled cheekbones and what appeared to be clear blue eyes.

“He’s pretty hot, no?” Emmett casually asked, licking again at his ice cream.

I grinned, taking another look at him. He was thinner than Emmett usually pointed out, a little lanky actually, and I wondered if maybe Em really was looking for something new. Something different. “He’s not really my type, but yeah,” I said.

“Oh, ho ho,” my brother began, turning to face me. “Bella has a type now? When did this happen?”

I shrugged, cursing the blush that instantly formed on my cheeks. “Lately, I’ve been more attracted to fairer complexions. You know, reddish or blonde hair…light eyes…that kind of thing.” I grinned to myself since I was obviously describing Edward and Rose and realized that for the first time in a week or so, I could think of them without some sort of grimace. It was progress, at the very least.

Emmett and I sat and people watched for a while longer before he looked at his watch. “Aw, damn, Bells. I promised this douche I work with that I’d help him move a dresser or some shit, and I have to be there in an hour.”

I pulled my cell phone from my pocket, and my eyebrows shot up, probably meeting my hairline as I realized it was already 5:30. “Well shit. We better get going then, huh, big brother,” I replied.

He sighed. “I really hate this guy. I don’t know why I said I’d help him. He’s a dick.”

We both stood, and I hooked my arm around his elbow. “Em, you’re just too nice of a guy. That’s all. Let’s get out of here.”

We walked to his car, talking animatedly the whole way, and once we were on the road again, he shuffled the discs in his multi-disc player until Weezer blared from the speakers. Emmett started singing along at the top of his lungs. “Ooh eee ooh, I look just like Buddy Holly! Oh, oh, and you’re Mary Tyler Moore!” My eyes widened as I laughed at the song choice, and when I looked at him, he was mimicking the face I was making. His big brown eyes were wide, and his eyebrows arched high.

I gave in as we sped along the roadway, singing along and shimmying a bit in my seat.

I was home entirely too quickly, and I surprised myself by feeling really fucking upset when I hugged Emmett goodbye.

I moved slowly to the elevator and took it upward, stopping at my floor. I opened my door and stepped just inside of my flat, locking it behind me as I tossed my keys across the kitchen onto the island. My purse landed on the kitchen counter.

Instead of immediately thinking about dinner, I slipped my shoes off of my feet and left them there, near the door, as I padded to my couch, throwing myself onto it. At some point in the drive from the zoo to my house, I’d shoved my phone into my back pocket, and I slid my hand under my body as I pulled it out, dropping it to the floor near the sofa.

As I lay there, I let my mind wander.

I seemed like I was missing everyone these days.

Of course I missed Edward and Rosalie. Despite the less-than-pleasant way our…whatever…had ended, they had revolutionized my life. In the few weeks we’d spent together, I had begun to learn how truly fulfilling sex could be. I fine-tuned exactly what I liked and didn’t, and I learned how to pleasure another person, how to pay rapt attention to what they did and didn’t like, how to adapt to their needs.

Over all of that, they made me question my sexuality. I was undeniably attracted to both of them, and while my interest in Rosalie had initially given me pause, I had never had a moment of uncertainty about it. I liked her and found her beautiful – probably the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Edward was…well, Edward was fucking sex on a stick, and even if I’d wanted to resist him, I wouldn’t have been able to. Before them, I’d never considered myself bi-sexual. I’d never even wondered.

In the wake of our relationship, my mind was more open, and my brain was more in tune with my needs and wants. I still felt a strange absence – like there was something really major I was missing, not just about Edward and Rose, but about myself, and my own insecurities and feelings – but I didn’t allow myself to think of it. That kind of self-reflection was best saved for another night.

Aside from missing them, until today, I hadn’t realized how much I missed my brother. Emmett was my light in the dark, my smile on a shitty day, my motivation when I was sorely lacking. I wondered if I was anything good to him. Did he think I just called when I needed something? Before the entrance of Edward and Rose into my life, he and I had regularly had Swandays – our name for Sundays – so I hoped he didn’t think me a selfish bitch who only called him when I needed to get out of a funk.

I decided then and there that I was going to call him soon and set up a brother/sister date. A day at the museums, maybe, followed by coffee, my treat.

The very thought made me smile.

And then, I thought of Mom and Daddy, back at home in Washington. The mere thought of them, and the house Em and I had grown up in, where they still lived, brought a smile to my face. Our parents were reformed hippies, and while the long hair and weed-smoking had gone out the window in the late seventies, just before Emmett was born, Mom still dressed in long, Bohemian skirts and flowy tops while Daddy dressed conservatively but still listened to Hendrix and Pink Floyd on the weekends. Renee and Charlie Swan had raised Em and me to be open-minded and loving, and I missed the hell out of them, too.

“I’ll call Mom tomorrow,” I mumbled to myself as I sat up.

My mind was still in a cloud of thoughts – contemplating how I missed Angela as well – as I scooped my phone up with my right hand and stood. After shoving my cell back into my pocket, I wandered to the kitchen and pulled out a take out menu because cooking was apparently not on the agenda for the evening.

I called the Indian place down the street. They were my absolute favorite restaurant in Chicago, and I considered it sheer luck that they were so close to me. After the lady gave me my total – a paltry $15 - I hung up and placed my phone on the island as I picked up my keys, shoved them into my purse, and then picked up my shoes. In silence, I walked to my room, deposited my shoes on the floor of my closet, and hung my purse on a wall hook as I heard my phone ringing.

I walked quickly, assuming it was Emmett, and made it back to my kitchen in record time. Without looking at my phone, I answered, a grin on my lips. “Hello?”

The line was quiet. “Hello?”

I pulled the phone away from my ear and glanced at the caller ID – I knew the name would be flashing at me from the faceplate of my cell.

I gulped, a well of nerves suddenly in my throat, and I found myself unable to speak.

It was Rose.

My Rose.

No, not your Rose, you fucking twit.

And then she spoke and jarred me from my internal arguing.

“Hello,” she replied softly, in almost a whisper. “Bella?”

“Rose?”

I knew it was her, but it was like I couldn’t process that she was actually calling me. That it was actually her on the line.

“Yes. Bella, I…We need to talk. I miss you. Can I see you?”

We both heard my sudden intake of breath, and I almost dropped the phone. A million errant thoughts were colliding in my mind as my free hand contoured tightly around the counter of my kitchen island. The only thought I could focus on was ridiculous and immature, but it was all I could see.

She does want me.

For a moment, I wondered about Edward and how we’d all agreed to not see one another singularly. Any and all agreements we made as a trio were null and void, I supposed, but before I could respond to Rose, I realized something else for the first time since they left me a week before.

The quick, dual rejection – by two people at the same time – had left me feeling less-than-desirable, vulnerable, and…well…the epitome of unsexy.

Rose calling seemed to negate that a bit. She missed me. She wanted to see me. She wanted to…I had no idea what she wanted, but I didn’t care.

“What would Edward say about that, Rosalie?” I said, and though I didn’t mean it to, my voice came out razor-edged.

I heard her sigh and then hesitate. I waited in silence for her response again.

“Bella, he doesn’t know I’m calling. We’ve only spoken once this week, after what happened.” She was frank, and suddenly, I could see her seated on her couch, her knees curled beneath her body as she held her BlackBerry to her ear.

Edward didn’t know she was calling?

“Oh,” I responded dumbly.

“Can I see you, Bella?” she asked. “Please?”

Without thinking, I replied. “Yes. When?”

“I don’t know. This next week is crazy for me, but…soon?”

I felt my lips curve into a smile as I recognized desire in her voice. She does want me, my inner monologue was chanting, over and over again. “Definitely,” I answered smoothly.

She let out a quiet breath and said, “Thank you,” and then we hung up.

I made it through the next day without losing my mind. It was a quiet Sunday, and I spent the morning with my DVR, finally catching up on too many hours of television. A little after noon, I decided I needed to get out of the house, so I picked up a sandwich at a local deli and visited my favorite park.

I ate on a park bench, watching all the people that passed by – guys walking their dogs, families with little kids, a few couples out just enjoying the day. I wasn’t really thinking about anything in particular for once, and it was a refreshing change of pace to just relax. When I finished, I tossed my trash and went back to my car, heading to the library before going home. I spent an hour or two perusing books before checking a couple out – a trashy romance novel Jessica loved and a more serious literary piece that Angela had asked if I’d read.

The drive home went quickly and soon I was back in my pajama pants and tank top. I tossed my phone and my purse onto my bed and went to the kitchen, pulling pasta from the pantry to boil. Just as they reached al dente, I heard my phone ringing from my room.

“Jesus, Bella. Keep your phone with you,” I mumbled at myself as I rushed to pour the pasta water and noodles into a strainer so I wouldn’t miss the call.

I dried my hands and darted to my room.

I had been surprised when Rose called. I really hadn’t been expecting to hear from her, so when I did, it incited an odd double-emotion reaction: shock and joy.

When I picked up the phone this time, I experienced that again, only with a jolt of fear and something else I would later label anxiety.

Edward was calling.

Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 7

Exposure Chapter 5 - The End is the Beginning is the End

2009-12-19T22:14:00.000-08:00

I stared at the computer, lost in thought.

I had only four articles to edit, but I couldn’t focus for shit, and therefore, I had gotten through approximately three paragraphs…in an hour and a half.

I wasn’t forlorn or angsty or depressed as much as I was vacillating between feeling like a completely confused Grade A Idiot and feeling a little self-loathing.

I sighed as Lauren Mallory’s voice floated over to me from the doorway of my cubical. “Bella? Got a minute?”

I turned around in my swivel chair, eyebrows raised, putting on a show to make her believe that I actually gave a shit about whatever it was that she was about to say. “Yes, Lauren. What can I do for you?” I asked, hoping my voice wouldn’t betray my sheer annoyance at not only Lauren’s interruption of what was clearly going to be a very productive morning but my life in general.

She took a seat, pulling a chair around the wall from the empty station next to me, where the department-wide printer and fax machine were hooked up. “I wanted to say you did a killer job on Newton’s beetle article. Not the most entertaining material, that’s for sure, but I saw his initial draft as well as your edits and suggestions.” She paused and ran a hand through her hair. “It was much improved. You did well.”

A small grin played upon my lips. “Not the most interesting material” is fucking right, I thought to myself. “Thanks, Lauren,” is what I actually said aloud, and just as I finished, she began to speak again, almost on top of my words.

“I wanted to tell you…” Her voice faded away, and she shot a sly smirk in my direction as she stood up. “The magazine could use more arts-centric pieces,” she finished. Her right hand was curved over her hip, and I looked up at her, trying not to appear bored or focused on her nose job.

I nodded. “Great. Thank you,” I said with a full-blown smile that I pulled from God-knows-where.

She wiggled her fingers at me and then walked away, and I turned back to my computer.

It wasn’t that I didn’t understand what she was trying to tell me. After working for Lauren Mallory for nearly two years, her message was loud and clear, despite the fact that she hadn’t come right out with it: Write an arts-centric piece, Swan. I think you’re ready.

Not even the thought of being published one day – of finally having my words in the magazine – could stave off the funk I was in.

Angling my chair to the right, I picked up my cell phone and opened my text message inbox.

Call me when you get this please.

Edward’s text still stared at me from the faceplate of my phone from three weeks ago, and I wondered how I hadn’t seen this coming.

*~*~*

The Friday after I talked to Edward, Rose, and Jessica on the phone, my lovers appeared separately, fifteen or so minutes between their arrivals. Edward had knocked lightly, a couple of minutes before they were scheduled to get there, and as usual, when I opened the door to let him in, I had been floored.

He was unfairly handsome; that was the way I decided to describe it.

That Friday, he wore a pair of tailored slacks and a navy button down, long-sleeved shirt with a striped tie. He held a jacket over his arm, folded in half, and his auburn hair was in its usual state of disarray, giving him a devil-may-care look when I knew he actually paid close attention to his appearance.

His eyes were forest green as he looked down at me from his height and handed me a bottle of wine. “Hello,” he said, and his voice was the very definition of serenity. He was happy to see me.

I smiled up at him and said, “Come on in,” as he stepped through the threshold. I closed the door and followed him into my kitchen, where he stopped and turned around, leaning his backside against the island.

“Come here,” he murmured.

I walked to him, anticipation already building in my hips as I considered that his hands would soon be on me.

He wrapped his arms around me, enclosing me in his grip in a way I hadn’t felt before – never before had he held me so closely, and it felt like heaven. Before lowering his lips to mine, he lifted his right hand from its position on the small of my back and tipped my chin upward, so that I was looking straight into his eyes. “Did you think of me last night?” he asked, his voice a deep rumble that stirred my desire.

I nodded, and my voice was scarcely a whisper as I replied, “Did you think of me?”

“I did,” he said, and pressed his lips to mine, softly at first.

Quickly, our kiss evolved into something else entirely, and my hands were knotted in his hair as his tongue slipped between my lips, and I felt his fingers grip my hips as he walked with me backward. He turned us, and with our lips still connected, I felt him bend at the waist as he cupped his hands under my ass and lifted me to the counter. Once I was seated, my hands still in his hair, he pulled my hips toward him, spreading my legs around his waist as he continued exploring my mouth, and suddenly, I wished I was wearing a skirt so he could take me then and there.

We continued to kiss that way until there was a knock at the door, and when we separated, Edward growled lightly. The sound went straight to the pit of my stomach, and I whimpered quietly as I hopped down from the counter and moved to answer the door.

Rose was all smiles and hugged me lightly as she kissed my cheek in greeting. She had spinach dip and crackers, and we walked into the kitchen where I’d left Edward.

He sent a small grin to Rosalie and then moved to open the wine he’d brought as we all made quiet conversation.

That night had been…shorter than most.

Physically, things had been normal. Edward and Rose took their turns with me, each bringing me pleasure as only they could, and then we’d mimicked our position from that first night, with Edward behind me, filling me completely as I tasted Rose again.

Normally, after that, we’d shower separately and talk about whatever came up, but after I came, Edward had cited exhaustion from a long week and curled up under my blankets to fall asleep. Rose and I kissed for a few minutes, her perfect lips caressing mine gently as her hands played at my hips, and we were asleep soon after.

The next morning, I’d made breakfast, and it seemed that Edward had woken up in a foul mood. He was quiet, moody, and spoke a total of about ten words through the meal. She didn’t think I noticed, but I saw Rosalie eyeing him in worry several times.

Of course, I thought nothing of it – I grew up with an older brother, so I understood that sometimes men were just…like that - served them their breakfast, and rejoined their conversation as though everything were normal.

That day, Edward had meetings for the preliminary planning for the McIntyre property. His father, Carlisle, would be in town for the day, and their goal was to set dates for things like when the required demolition would begin, when the landscaping needed to be complete, and when they wanted to be open for residents. Rose had appointments with two clients – wealthy men of Chicago who were, as she put it, “buying a flat to keep their mistresses’ mouths shut” – and would also be unavailable all day.

With the two of them busy and Jessica’s nosiness appeased a mere two days before, I was excited to have some free time to actually think about my novel. So, I took my laptop to my balcony and typed away for the better part of three hours before breaking. All in all, it was a very productive evening. It felt good to get some of my book written; it seemed I’d been stalled for so long.

A week later, we were at Edward’s, and things were still strained.

Rose and I had arrived at the same time, and when we stepped into Edward’s condo, she seemed anxious. I saw her cast a questioning look at Edward as he poured three shots for us and then a second for himself. She drank her shot and then slammed the shooter onto the table and asked for another round. Edward had easily given in, and then looked at me carefully – for lack of a better term – as he asked if I wanted another shot as well.

I nodded and took my second shot before we moved quickly to the bedroom.

Rose undressed me as Edward watched, seated at the end of his bed. I could feel his eyes on me; there was a heat that seemed to seep into my skin when he looked at me.

Where before, our sessions had been an easy give and take, that Friday had been awkward.

It started normally enough. Rose kissed me, her hands knotted in my hair as she walked backward, heading to the mattress where Edward waited. I was enjoying the feel of her silken tongue against mine when Edward’s voice rang out, clear but quiet.

“Bella, can you do something for me?” he asked.

I pulled away from Rose, glancing over her shoulder; she moved her mouth to my throat and lightly sucked at the skin there as I gazed down at Edward, my eyebrows raised.

“Can you…I need your mouth on me. I’ve been thinking about it all week. Can you..?”

He didn’t need to finish his question. Rosalie hummed in my ear and pulled her lips away from me as I moved to kneel in front of Edward. Just hearing him say he wanted his dick in my mouth had made moisture pool in my panties, so I was happy to oblige.

“No, Bella,” he said as he reached out, his hand running lightly up my thigh. “I want you as comfortable as possible.”

He slid back on the mattress until his head was on the pillow, and I crawled up to meet him. My eyes roamed his body hungrily, still not accustomed to the perfection of his form even after weeks of being able to touch him and taste him. When I reached his legs, I pushed his knees apart, licking my lips as I saw his erection standing before me, and without any notice, I took him into my mouth.

“God, Bella,” he managed as I began to move up and down his shaft, teasing him with my tongue and stopping just short of his head grazing the back of my throat.

Suddenly, I felt Rose’s fingers curve around my thigh and then gently slide between my lips, her movements gentle as she moved them back and forth. I moaned at the sensation, and Edward groaned in response, the vibrations making his already sensitive cock even more so.

As I kept bobbing my head up and down, gently sucking as my teeth grazed his length, his hips began to buck as he fucked my mouth. My eyes were wide, cast upward as I focused on him. The sight of his lips parted, his head pressing back against the pillow as his hands fisted in the sheets was such a tantalizing treat. I loved that I could do that to him; Edward was in control at all times, and the fact that I could make him lose composure turned me on.

Rose’s fingers continued massaging me, and my wetness doubled. Tripled. My hips writhed against her hand, and I heard her moan softly as her other hand came to rest on my hip. I was so close already, my clit was swollen, and I knew it wouldn’t take much more to get me to explode. My eyes drifted closed, my hand moving to the base of Edward’s cock as I stroked him in the rhythm of my lips.

My attention was divided, Rose’s fingers making it difficult to pay as close attention to Edward as I normally did. I was licking and sucking and humming, feeling his hips buck beneath me, and I was so lost in the moment we were all sharing that I was utterly shocked when I heard his rough voice.

“Fuck!” he cursed with a groan, and I felt his release hit the back of my throat. He was salty and…perfect, but I had been expecting him to pull away when he climaxed like he always did. My hips had stilled, my eyes flying wide as I swallowed clumsily. “Goddamn it, Bella.” His voice was hoarse as his right arm moved to the pillow above his head.

I felt Rose’s hand leave me as she moved to settle onto the mattress on my right. In my peripheral vision, I saw her slide her right hand down her body.

I pulled my lips away from Edward with an audible pop and ran the back of my hand along the corner of my mouth as I murmured, “But you’ve always-”

His voice cut me off, and he sounded tired. “I know.” His sighed, his eyes closing. “I’ll…explain later.”

“Okay.” My voice was soft and quiet as I tried to absorb what he was saying, searching for some hidden meaning. I found none, and then because I wanted him to know that I appreciated him letting me taste him that way, I said, “Thank you.”

His eyes opened, focusing on mine, and they were suddenly soft. “You’re welcome,” he said. After a brief pause, he gave me a small smile and mouthed, “Thank you.”

I smiled my reply, enjoying the intimate moment I was sharing with him. After staring into the raging storm that was Edward’s eyes for a moment, I heard a soft whimper from my right and refocused on Rosalie.

She was gliding her fingers up and down her slit, her eyes closed and her forehead creased, and I shook my head. “No, baby. Let me do that,” I said softly, reaching over to lift her hand to make room for my tongue.

Edward lay there, watching us – watching me - until Rosalie came, and then, when I rolled over on my side with a lazy smile on my lips from bringing my Rose such pleasure, he slipped a condom on and crawled to my side. His hands roamed my stomach and chest, encouraging me to lie on my back before he moved to balance himself over my body. Without words, he pressed into me and, fuck, it felt good. After pleasing both him and Rose, it felt that my climax had been a long time coming – no pun intended – and it took only four thrusts before my thighs were quivering as I tightened around him, and I was writhing and moaning his name.

As we fell asleep that night, things felt just fine. I smiled as I inhaled the fragrance of Edward while my cheek pressed into his chest. His hand rubbed my arm soothingly while Rosalie’s comfortable heat radiated against my back. Her hand rested on my hip as I snuggled contentedly between the two of them.

It was only in retrospect that I realized that evening had been off-kilter.

And then, there was last Friday.

I kept replaying the way the evening had gone down in my head, and it became increasingly clear that I was some kind of idiot.

We were back at my house.

Earlier in the day, I had text messaged both Edward and Rose, telling them not to bring anything over when they arrived. I was planning to make a few appetizers and had a bevy of liquors and wines stored away in my pantry that we could make use of.

At seven o’clock on the dot, they were both standing at my door, and I wondered how the fuck I got so lucky. I was relatively certain that the two most beautiful people in the whole of Chicago were spending their Friday nights with me. I smiled at the thought as I pulled the door open and invited them inside.

The appetizers I had made sat on my kitchen island. There was homemade salsa with chips beside a queso recipe I’d picked up from Angela, who was originally from Texas. I also had a platter of slices of pound cake drizzled with lemon icing because that was Rose’s favorite. Next to it stood a bottle of Patron Silver – Edward’s favorite - and a bottle of wine just in case, though I was relatively certain we would go for the tequila.

“How was your week, Bella?” Rose asked, picking up a slice of the lemon-iced pound cake.

I shrugged. “The usual, really. Mike was a douche, Lauren was halfway decent, and that goddamned intern Riley drove me fucking crazy, following me around all over the office.”

Edward laughed lightly and said, “Aw, Bella. Give the kid a break. Maybe he’s got a crush.”

I crinkled my nose up and shook my head. “I sure hope not,” I replied, and conversation seemed to move easily after that. We talked about the developments for Cullen Real Estate’s housing project, Rose’s client meetings for that week, and a new art exhibit that was opening in a handful of days.

“We should go,” Rose suggested, fingering the cork on the wine bottle. Then her brow furrowed as she glanced away. Her gaze fell to the two bottles in front of her, and she changed the subject, saying, “I think I want tequila tonight.”

Edward simply nodded.

I grinned, glad I knew my lovers’ preferences. “I thought we might.”

I pulled three shot glasses down from my cupboard and placed them on the kitchen island in front of me. Then, I opened the tequila and poured the liquor into the small glasses and, after re-capping the bottle, slid a shot glass each to Edward and Rose.

When I lifted my eyes to meet Edward’s, I was confused.

He looked…perturbed. Just minutes before, he seemed to be relaxed and happy, and I wondered what could have shifted.

As he continued to meet my gaze, I parted my lips to ask what was wrong, but he shook his head almost imperceptibly. After furrowing my brow at him, I lifted the shot glass to my lips and downed the alcohol. It burned as it slid down my throat, and I wished I had a lime to suck on. Then, I remembered that I had margarita salt and grinned as I turned around to retrieve it.

I lifted myself up onto my tiptoes and pulled it down, and after I’d closed the cabinet I turned around, a smile on my lips. I poured a second shot for myself and picked up my shot glass, careful not to spill it, as I walked over to Rosalie.

“Hi,” I said, almost shyly.

She looked from me to the shot glass and salt in my hands and smirked. Without words, she moved her hair over her shoulder so that it fell down her back in golden waves, and she angled her face away from me as I took half a step closer to her.

I licked the skin just above her collar bone and then sprinkled salt on her skin. I put the small canister of salt down, readied my shot glass, and licked her skin again, catching every grain of salt with my tongue before slamming the tequila back. I felt the heat of the alcohol spread through my chest, and Rose gave a little moan as I was swallowing. I placed a soft kiss on her lips, unable to resist, and smiled when she did.

Without further thought, I turned around, refilled my shot glass, and walked around to face Edward, who still looked strained.

I moved the dish that held the queso a few inches to the left and hopped up onto the island so that my knees were splayed around Edward’s hips again. “Come here,” I requested, pulling him to me by his belt loop.

Face-to-face with me, he seemed to lose some of whatever edge was plaguing him, and I looked away from him only to pick up the salt. When my gaze met his again, he leaned slightly closer to me, and I knotted my hands in his hair as I licked along the place where his shoulder and throat connected. I paused, inhaling deeply that exquisite fragrance that was all aftershave and Edward and just a hint of sweat that stirred desire deep within me. Before I could pull my lips away, he groaned in my ear, and I smiled.

“Just a second, baby,” I said, and watched as he swallowed hard, his eyes closing as he did so.

I sprinkled salt onto his skin, watching the tiny granules shimmer before I licked it up and felt his fingers ghost over the juncture between my legs as I did so.

When I downed my third shot of tequila, he placed his right hand on the small of my back and picked up his shot glass with his left. His eyes were intent on mine before they finally shifted to the side. He tipped the glass in Rose’s direction, and I watched them drink the amber liquid.

After that, the tension was palpable. It felt as though I would be able to cut it with a knife, so when Rose whispered, “Let’s go,” neither Edward nor I argued.

When we walked from my kitchen toward my bedroom, I noticed he looked anxious again, and Rose seemed to be staring at her feet as she walked, which was abnormal. Fleetingly, I considered asking what was wrong, but I didn’t want to make something into a big deal if it was nothing. I mean, fuck. We were about to spend a few hours enjoying each others’ bodies – what could possibly be wrong? Maybe they were both distracted by work-related problems. I knew I would do what I could to make them forget.

Once in my room, Edward removed his button down shirt and tossed it to the floor and then came to me as Rose grazed her hands over my breasts. I placed my hands on her jaw, holding her face steady as I leaned in to kiss her, and I felt Edward lift my hair as he placed a gentle kiss on the skin of my throat.

Then, for the first time ever, there seemed to be some strange awkwardness about undressing me. For the last six weeks, Edward and Rosalie had taken turns removing my clothing; it seemed they just worked in a natural rhythm with one another, and it made me feel ridiculously sexy, so I never argued. The feeling of two sets of hands – one masculine and large, the other petite and feminine – on my body, removing clothing and caressing my skin, was phenomenal, and I was certain I would never experience that sensation with anyone but them, so I relished every moment of it.

They’d never needed to communicate beyond a simple glance or a nod of the head, so when Edward and Rose both went for my jeans and their hands collided around my navel, it was comparable to a person’s natural reaction when a CD she’s listening to skips. We all froze, and our faces – all three of them – conveyed a similar look: mild annoyance. Rose pulled her hands back and allowed Edward to unbutton and unzip my pants; afterward, Edward pulled his hands away, sliding them up my back as Rose pushed my jeans downward until they were a pool of material around my legs.

I felt Edward kneel beside me, to my right, and his lips tickled their way down my arms, my side, and then he kissed my bare hip as Rosalie pulled my shirt over my head, dropping it as she kissed me on the lips, her mouth and tongue sweet and cool. As she moved her lips to nibble my earlobe, I glanced down at Edward, and again, the look of concern was on his face, and for a second, I felt sheer frustration.

If he wanted to cancel tonight because work was stressful, he should have told us, I thought.

As I stood there in my panties and bra, I was working my way to full-blown annoyance when he suddenly shot up to his full height and stepped away from me.

“I…I can’t…I can’t do this. I’m sorry,” he stammered. Before Rose or I could try to appeal to him, he yanked his shirt up from the floor and rushed from the room, leaving a feeling of frenetic worry in his wake.

A mere second later, Rose had moved slowly away from me, walking backward toward my door, and she quietly said, “I’m sorry, Bella. He’s my best friend.” She frowned as her eyes flashed real regret before she turned to follow him. Her eyes lingered, her face toward me until the last second, when her head whipped around in a flurry of blonde hair.

And with, that they were gone.

In hindsight, I realized I’m a big fucking moron for not letting myself see that Edward had been uncomfortable with our arrangement for the last month.

“Are you sure you want to keep doing this?” he had asked, after stuttering, which was completely out of character for Edward Cullen.

And I had tried to be flippant, to divert him from actually talking about it.

I felt like an asshole for that, in retrospect. It had been our first real phone conversation, and he was trying to voice his concerns, but I’d ignored the anxiety I heard in his voice because I couldn’t handle the fact that he might want to end this three-way relationship we were in. But at the same time, shouldn’t he have manned up and told me he was wavering?

I really wanted to be pissed off, but I couldn’t initially. I knew Edward; he was thoughtful to the extreme, so if I had seemed to really want to continue, of course he would have considered his worries less important. I knew that even then, and still, I didn’t ask if he wanted to talk further.

And then there was Rosalie, who had clearly noticed something was off with her best friend over the last few weeks. As I looked back, I could see every worried look, hear every strained sentence as she spoke, trying to gauge whether he was ready to talk about it.

I felt like absolute shit for not seeing it. Perhaps a better synopsis of the last month was this: I did see but didn’t want to, so I avoided it. We Swan kids have a funny way of ignoring something if it upsets our world view, after all.

Fucking idiot.

So, there was the guilt I felt over ignoring what was now very obvious. I felt badly but was one-hundred percent sure that an apology wouldn’t work. “Oh, hey guys, sorry for being a selfish bitch because you got me off like nobody’s business, and I didn’t want that to end. Friends?”

As I sat there, my computer still for so long the screen saver had popped up, I sighed aloud.

There was no way I could be friends with Edward or Rose. Not yet. Not now. Maybe not ever.

The thought of never kissing them again, of never feeling their hands on me…it made me want to wretch. I wanted to visit the bathroom and spend hours in there, puking until I felt cleansed somehow, but I knew, even then, even if I hugged the toilet for everything it was worth, I would still be left with another lingering emotion. Loneliness. It had been a handful of days since that Friday, and I was already yearning for their touch.

Normally, I enjoyed my week spent fantasizing about the two of them. Yes, I missed them, but it was almost…fun…to let the anticipation build, to spend those days apart so that the reunion was that much sweeter. There was an absence, and I often wished the week would hurry, but at the same time, it was enjoyable.

This was different. There was no relief waiting for me at the end of a shitty week. There was no countdown to when I would be in Edward’s arms again – when I would feel Rosalie’s gentle touch.

It was over, and I was alone.

With a sigh, I clicked my mouse in order to rid my screen of the generic images that were flashing there and attempted to refocus my energy. I opened the document I had been working on when Lauren stopped by my cube and glanced at the clock.

“Jesus, it’s already 11?” I mused aloud.

I shook my head and began to attempt to edit the piece. I made it through three paragraphs before getting lost again in my memories of Friday night.

The silence of my apartment had been deafening. That was a phrase that I’d never before understood, not fully anyway. How could quiet be too much? How could silence cause you physical pain?

But as I stood there, the scent of Edward’s cologne still permeating the air and the sensation of Rose’s hands still on my skin, I got it.

My ears were ringing, and my stomach felt sick. I wanted to curl up in a ball, to collapse into a useless mass on the floor there in my room, but instead, I remained standing, praying that they would come back to me, that Edward would change his mind, that Rosalie would talk him down.

Minutes passed, and neither of them returned.

I was alone, standing in the middle of my bedroom, nearly naked when the anger descended.

When it arrived, I was suddenly seeing red with such voracity that it was very nearly disconcerting, and my mind moved at a million miles a minute.

I can understand if Edward has hang ups, I thought. But how dare he just end this without at least talking to Rose and me?

I began to pace my room, and my anger overwhelmed me. I thought about Rose and how she could have stayed behind to comfort me. How she could have talked to Edward before it got to this point. How she was just as much at fault for the ridiculous mess we found ourselves in.

Then my anger grew exponentially as I realized she had probably been the deciding factor the night we all met. Edward had whispered in my ear that they’d never been serious about following through with a threesome…until they saw me.

Rose had likely instigated this. Looking back to the first evening we’d shared, when I awoke and heard them speaking, it had been Edward who expressed doubt at their ever actually following through with this little fantasy. I wasn’t certain as to when things had gone…awry, but regardless of the timing: Edward should have manned up and admitted to his feelings, whatever those might be, and Rose should have let me in on the fact that Edward was so bothered by what we were doing.

For them to both leave me standing there, vulnerable and alone, was the final straw, and I walked swiftly to the nearest wall and punched it twice. The first time, my knuckle screamed at me, and the second it bled, so I yelled out, “Goddamn it!” and walked to my bathroom to wash my hands.

Staring at my face in the bathroom mirror, I saw the wild look in my eyes, the flush on my cheeks. The splotchy red evidence of my anger spread all the way down my throat, and something about that sight – combined with the cool water bathing my hands – tempered my fury. I was still upset, but I was no longer raging.

I reached into the shower, turning the hot water on full-blast and dressing in my robe before I returned to my bedroom and checked the wall, making certain that no blood had stained the paint there. When I was satisfied that it hadn’t, I walked through my room and into my living room and then to the door, which I locked loudly, my huffs the only sound in my apartment aside from the padding of my feet.

Then, I stepped into my kitchen and shoved the appetizers down the garbage disposal. I tossed the shot glasses into the sink and picked up the tequila, taking a long swig straight from the bottle before I capped it. I could feel the liquor burning in my stomach as I shoved the bottle into my cabinet and then rushed to the bathroom again, where I stepped into a scalding shower, dropping my panties and bra to the floor of the tub, not giving a shit if they were soaked and covered in shampoo and conditioner as I cleaned myself, wanting to erase the feel of their touches, their kisses, their presence.

Of course, in the midst of my frenzied showering, I saw Edward’s razors and shave gel and Rose’s toiletries standing there, almost as though they were mocking me. As soon as the water was turned off, I stepped out of the tub and yanked the things I’d bought specifically for them from their positions around the porcelain basin. As I threw them away in the metal trash bin I kept beneath my sink, I listened to their clatter with a contented huff and then turned on my heel as I returned to my room.

There, I pulled on my rattiest pair of pajama pants and a tank top and, probably from the emotional overload on top of my four shots of tequila, passed the fuck out.

The memories were still swimming in my mind, and the ire I felt had only dissipated slightly. It had been three days since my lovers had abandoned me without a backward glance, and my hand was still sore from hitting the wall. Thankfully, a visit to the hospital was not required, but I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle the ache of the loneliness I felt.

As I sat at my computer, absolutely failing as I attempted to work, I felt nauseous thanks to the cacophony of emotions that were colliding in my mind.

Anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, confusion…all covered with a serious sense of loss.

Jesus H Christ, Swan. What’s next? I wondered, and sighed again as I redoubled my efforts to finish my required edits.

Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 6

Exposure Chapter 4 - Talk

2009-12-19T22:13:00.000-08:00

Leaning back against my bathroom counter, I sipped my coffee and felt the faint burn on my tongue as I drank it too soon. As I waited for the water in the shower to warm, I stared ahead, my mind fuzzy while I struggled to wake up. I’d slept deeply but hardly dreamlessly last night, as half-formed images of Rosalie’s exquisite form and Edward’s irresistible lips had stayed with me all night.

I smiled lazily against the rim of my mug as I took another sip, slowly becoming more aware. I set my cup on the counter, about to remove my robe, when I remembered the text message I’d received yesterday evening.

“Shit.” The curse was quiet, my voice thick with sleep, as I pulled my phone from the pocket of my pale blue terrycloth robe that reached just below mid-thigh.

I pressed the buttons, finding the missed text, and read it twice.

Call me when you get this please.

That was it. No explanation, no reason. Just a message from Edward asking me to call him. Given the missed phone call from yesterday as well, there was a sudden, inexplicable sinking feeling in my gut.

“Shit!” My voice was louder this time as I bit my bottom lip, my brow furrowing as my mind began racing. I read the message once more, mouthing the words as I worked to calm myself.

Frowning, I took a deep breath and then left the phone lying on the bathroom counter as I slipped out of my robe. I hung it on the hook on the back of my door and stepped into the shower, trying to let the steaming spray relax me.

It was no use. All throughout my shower, I wondered. As I put on my make-up and got dressed, I tried to ignore that little nagging voice that was throwing out possible reasons Edward would want me to call him. As I put on my right heel while juggling my purse and trying to close my door so I wouldn’t be late to work again, all of the possible reasons had become the worst ones I could imagine.

And by the time I sat down in my chair, drumming my fingers on the desktop as I waited for my aging computer to boot up, there was only one thought in my mind. It was a refrain pounding against my skull, making it nearly impossible to focus on anything else.

He wants to end this. He wants to end this. He wants to end this.

I worked hard at concentrating, beating back those thoughts until they would finally break free when I found myself thinking, But why?

It made no sense to me. Everything had been amazing so far – the three Friday nights we’d spent together had been filled with erotic bliss punctuated with laughter and teasing as we learned about each other. True, our conversations were often cut short when one or the other of us began to touch another a little too suggestively…but wasn’t that part of what we were about?

My mind was in such turmoil that the endless monotony of Mike Newton’s drivel had no hope of distracting me. When I realized I’d read the same paragraph seven times and still had no understanding of what it said, I glanced at my clock.

9:26? You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I couldn’t go on like this. I’d been at work all of an hour-and-a-half, but it felt like I’d been slaving away for days. “Fucking hell,” I muttered under my breath, pushing away from my desk and standing up. I stretched with a sigh and then pulled a key from the tiny pocket of my black dress pants to unlock my filing cabinet. I retrieved my wallet from my purse, locked the cabinet back, and headed out of my office.

When I reached the elevator, I leaned back against the narrow bar, my hands wrapping around it on either side of my hips, and for the first time since I left home that day, I smiled. My mind drifted back to that first night – the night I kissed a woman for the first time. I saw myself leaning back against the bar that was very much like this one, and I could nearly smell Rose’s perfume as she leaned in close and pressed her lips against my neck softly.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, and that quickly – with just a hint of an imaginary visit from my Rosalie – I was calmer. I walked into our building’s coffee shop and made my way to the counter, automatically ordering my iced caramel macchiato. I stepped to the side and waited for my coffee to be ready, but my mind was someplace else.

I was in my happy place – that place where I remembered every moment I’d shared with Edward and Rosalie. I remembered the feel of Edward’s strong hands and Rose’s soft lips…that gentle abrasion of his stubble…the way her manicured fingernails scratched my scalp as she writhed beneath me.

By the time I was sipping my coffee on my way back up to my desk, I’d calmed considerably. I was still nervous, wondering what, exactly, Edward would say, but I finally seemed to accept what I’d kept trying to tell myself – our time together was amazing and wonderful and unbelievable. I was over-thinking things, jumping to conclusions. Maybe he just wanted to ask me something. Maybe he was calling to say he had a meeting and would be running late tomorrow night.

Or maybe he just…wanted to talk.

I considered that, feeling my forehead wrinkle as I again opened Mike Newton’s latest asinine piece. So far, I had never found myself involved in a one-on-one conversation with either of them, except for those few moments when either Edward or Rosalie would disappear to take a shower or something of the kind.

So maybe this was…a good thing?

I didn’t fully believe it, but it was enough to help me make it through the rest of Mike’s article…and to make a dent in the six others I had waiting for me. When noon rolled around, I groaned and stood, putting my hands on my hips as I arched my back.

Retrieving my purse from the filing cabinet, I double-checked to make sure I had my phone. My stomach fluttered as I pulled it out and turned it around to look at the display, and I exhaled in relief when I saw that there were no missed calls or messages waiting. I retraced my steps from earlier, but this time, I passed by the coffee shop, making my way to the café across the parking lot.

I kept my phone in hand as I stared mindlessly at the menu on the wall above the register. At some point during the morning, my mind had apparently assigned lunch time as the appropriate time to call Edward, and I felt nearly ill now as I thought of it.

This is fucking ridiculous.

It was just Edward. It wasn’t like I didn’t know him intimately – I knew the salty taste of his skin, the way his exquisite fingers could leave me panting, and the low, gravelly sound of his otherwise velvet voice when he was exhausted from exertion and fully satisfied. There was no reason for me to be so nervous.

Still, my stomach said otherwise, so I ordered a simple mozzarella and tomato panini with water to drink and took a seat at one of the little bistro tables set near the glass front of the café. I tapped my phone against my palm as I waited, working up my courage.

Finally, I took a deep breath, my heel tapping on the ground when my hands stilled, and I scrolled through the numbers on my phone. When I saw “Edward Cullen,” my eyes closed briefly before I hit the call button and brought the phone to my ear. My food was delivered as I waited, listening to the phone ring while I bit my bottom lip.

I heard the click of someone answering and took a breath to speak, but then I heard, “You’ve reached the voicemail of Edward Cullen…”

I rolled my eyes as I listened to the rest of the message, struggling to decide what to say. When the little beep signaled that I should leave my message, I froze for a moment, breathing lightly. Finally, I pried my lips apart and said, “Edward? This is Bella. Bella Swan?” I rolled my eyes again, this time at myself. Because there are so many Bella’s he fucks every weekend? “I’m sorry I missed your call last night. And I didn’t get your text until this morning because it came in when I was talking to my brother and I forgot to check it.” I realized I was babbling and stopped myself, taking a deep breath. “Anyway, I guess just call me when you get this? I’ll be home all night. I…I’m looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.”

I pulled the phone away from my ear, hitting the end button as quickly as I could. Tossing the phone onto the table, I ran my fingers through my hair.

Fuck! I’m an idiot.

No, you’re not. You were just nervous.

Well, I sure as hell sound like one.

I ate half of my sandwich, barely noticing the taste as I washed it down with water. When I could stomach no more, I threw the rest away and walked back across the parking lot. I worked the rest of the afternoon on autopilot, managing to concentrate and get my work done, but my heart wasn’t in it.

By the time I walked through the front door of my flat Thursday afternoon, I felt drained. I hadn’t done anything more than most other days, but obviously the mental strain had been too much for me.

After having dinner and trying to settle into my normal nighttime routine, I was still feeling antsy. It was too early for bed, and I wondered if I’d be able to sleep well until I heard from Edward anyway. I’d noticed that I kept glancing at my phone surreptitiously, as if I was fooling myself by not picking it up and looking at it. I tried rationalizing with myself that if he hadn’t called back, that was a good sign – it couldn’t be all that important, right? – but I didn’t buy it.

I needed him to call.

I considered several sources of distraction but dismissed them all.

I didn’t want to watch TV. There was never anything on, and I’d just get more annoyed flipping through channels.

I didn’t want to call Jessica, even though I’d been getting increasingly threatening texts and voicemails from her over the past couple of weeks. I knew she was worried and I’d have to talk to her soon, but I just wanted to keep it to myself for awhile. I didn’t want to hear disapproval or morbid curiosity in her voice. My relationship with Edward and Rose was not some source of gossip – it was something that was rapidly becoming incredibly beautiful and special to me. But Jessica would not see it that way.

I didn’t want to talk to Emmett. I knew he would find some way to make me laugh, and – perverse as it seemed – I didn’t feel like laughing. There was only one person I wanted to talk to, and so far, he wasn’t calling me back.

It was as I was moping and making my way through my list of things I didn’t want to do that I suddenly struck upon one that sounded perfect.

Ten minutes later, I was stretched out in my tub, leaning back against my bath pillow. I’d turned off the lights, the only illumination in the room the dozen or so candles scattered around. My hair was piled on top of my head, and countless bubbles reached nearly to my chin as I relaxed. Normally I would’ve had soft music playing as well, but instead, I had my phone sitting just within reach on a little tray table I’d brought in from my living room. I’d compromised with myself, setting it to vibrate so it wouldn’t disturb my attempts at serenity, but I didn’t want to chance missing Edward’s call again.

I had just settled in, my hair dampening from the steam as I inhaled the soft, clean fragrance of my bubble bath, when my phone shook on the table, buzzing. Immediately, I bit my bottom lip as my hand reached for it, bubbles dripping over the side of the tub. I quickly grabbed a towel, drying my hand so that I wouldn’t have to pay for another new phone, and then turned the display toward me.

New Text Message
Jessica Stanley

Sighing, I deflated, letting the phone drop back onto the table as I slipped back down into my bath. She was one of the last people I felt like dealing with just then.

I was beginning to regret not turning some music on as I sat there, just watching my toes peek out of the bubbles at the end of the tub. I lifted my arms, resting them on the cool porcelain sides, and I had just let my head fall back against the rim, closing my eyes when I heard that tell-tale buzz again.

Somehow, I knew.

I sat up slowly, drying off my hand as I watched the backlight on my display flash on and off. I picked up the phone gingerly, not even really needing to see the Edward Cullen to know who it was.

I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. “Hello?”

“Bella?” At the sound of his resonant voice, I felt the oddest sensation as I at once relaxed and grew inexplicably nervous.

“Hi, Edward…” You’ve been waiting for him to call all day, and that’s what you say? Brilliant.

“I got your message,” he said quietly. He sounded reluctant somehow, but there was more – some other emotion I couldn’t place. “I guess you’re wondering why I called.”

“It did cross my mind,” I answered softly, trying to smile and hoping he could hear it.

“I…I can’t…” He paused, and I imagined him pinching the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb the way he so often did. I heard him mutter, “Fuck!” under his breath.

Shit. Something is wrong.

Edward rarely cursed except in the heat of the moment. The sound was usually enough to make me moan in anticipation, but this time my stomach clenched with anxiety. There was silence for a beat as I tried to decide how to handle this, but I wasn’t given the chance to say anything.

His voice was strong, intense despite being quiet, when he said, “Are you sure you want to keep doing this?”

I exhaled lightly. Those words had been my biggest fear since I first read his text this morning, so I guess my mind had been unconsciously working on how to respond.

This can’t end.

It was true. I didn’t quite know how to go back to my life without Rosalie and Edward. I meant for my answer to be flippant – as if he was being silly – but I couldn’t control the way my heart was pounding. My voice was quiet, almost plaintive, when I spoke, but there was no doubt or hesitation. “Of course I’m sure.”

Again, he stammered, and it was so unlike the Edward I knew. This Edward was uncertain and nearly timid. My Edward was always sure and confident. “I just…I…” I heard him sigh and then chuckle darkly.

I realized I was still frozen, leaning over the edge of the tub, and my hip was aching from the way it was pressing against the porcelain. As quietly as I could, I shifted, moving to sit up straighter as I bit my bottom lip. My movement displaced the water, sending waves lapping gently against my skin.

“What was that?” His voice betrayed his interest, rising slightly. His confident tone returned, that sultry quality making me smile faintly as he said, “Are you in the bath, Bella?”

“Maybe,” I answered, keeping my voice playful even though I still felt as if I were walking on a razor’s edge. “Care to join me?”

I heard his sharp intake of breath and knew the answer was yes. That beautiful, melodic voice was sardonic, though, when he finally spoke again. “Well, now, I don’t know that there’s a tub big enough for all of us.”

“I’m sure we can find one…” I said and then quickly changed the subject. “So now we know I’m in the tub…naked…what are you doing?”

It wasn’t graceful or subtle, but it worked.

He laughed softly, and his voice was decidedly seductive when he answered. “Do you really want to know what I’m doing? Or are you asking what I’m wearing?”

I nearly gave a girlish squeal when I heard him flirting that way. I slipped back into the bath, relaxing as we bantered. Whatever had caused his brooding seemed to melt away as we talked, and I lost track of how long we’d been on the phone.

We moved seamlessly from topic to topic, mixing in playful teasing with more serious conversations. For the first time ever, we really talked.

It began with some of our typical dialogue – Edward telling me about the projects he was working on for Cullen Properties. But this time, he went deeper as he talked about the one that excited him the most. I’d always heard it referred to as “the McIntyre project,” and I’d often felt vaguely like an outsider as I listened to Rosalie ask him questions that clearly indicated that she knew all about it.

This time, talking to him one-on-one, I felt empowered, uninhibited. So when he mentioned the McIntyre project, I boldly said, “Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you…what is that? I’ve heard you and Rose talking about it, but I still don’t really know what you’re doing there exactly.”

Edward had immediately apologized for leaving me out, even inadvertently, and began explaining. I smiled at his obvious enthusiasm and the way his voice rose and fell as he talked. “So basically, we’re taking an older building that used to be all high-end apartments. There were all sorts of problems – outdated wiring and leaky pipes and even asbestos - so the building was losing its tenants. We bought the building, and soon I’m going to be working on updating it and converting all the units into housing for low-income families.”

He went on, talking about how it would help some of the lower income families to get out of the worst sections of town, and he explained that his family’s company was planning to cater to families with school-age children to ensure that they attended better schools.

I hadn’t realized he had such a charitable nature, and when I asked him about it, he said that he really didn’t talk about it much because he knew what he did with his time and money, so it really wasn’t important that anyone else knew. I kept questioning him, though, and eventually discovered that he made several sizable donations to different charities a year. I gathered that he preferred to help out families, particularly children, and I found myself smiling as this revealed just how important his own family was to him.

Soon, I was talking freely about Emmett and the time he spent volunteering as a tutor at the community center near where he lived. I was proud of my brother, and the conversation moved from what Emmett did to Emmett himself. I was surprised to realize that I’d never really talked about my family either. I guess somehow I’d assumed that Edward and Rosalie knew all about me, considering the way we knew each other physically, but when I mentioned Tyler as “my brother’s ex-boyfriend” sort of off-handedly, he stopped me.

“Wait…your brother’s gay?” I couldn’t decipher his tone of voice, and I was frowning defensively when I answered.

“You can’t seriously have a problem with that? I mean, considering…”

Edward laughed softly. “No, I have no problem with it at all. I just didn’t realize it. That’s all.” He paused, and his voice was softer when he continued, “I just know how it is to be the umm…straight one in a close relationship like that. You know?”

“Oh yeah…I know what you mean. Sorry I almost jumped you there. I’ve found myself defending Emmett a lot over the years. I mean, most of the time, people are cool, but there are always those assholes…”

He sighed. “Yeah…I actually got into a fight a couple of years ago with a guy who thought Rose was hitting on his girlfriend. It was kind of surreal…” He went on to tell me about it, and I told him about the only fight I had ever been in. I’d been a senior in high school, and I’d ended up suspended from school for three days when I punched this jackass for calling Emmett a fag. Em had told me it was stupid to let an ignorant asshole get me in trouble, especially since he wasn’t even living in the area anymore, but I told him I didn’t care.

Nobody talked about my brother that way.

“That’s pretty damn awesome, Bella.”

I blushed and bit my bottom lip, a proud grin spreading on my face as I heard Edward not only praise me but curse doing it. I lifted my hand, looking at it idly, and frowned when I realized suddenly that the water was cold and I was rapidly turning into a prune. I sighed, knowing I should get off the phone and out of the bath, but I couldn’t help teasing him just a bit more. “You know what it does to me when you curse like that…” I kept my voice low, hopefully sultry, and heard Edward give a playful growl in return.

“Then I guess I better let you go before you get too worked up and can’t sleep tonight. You’re going to need your rest, Ms. Swan.”

“Mmm…I like the sound of that.” I smiled as I stood, shivering as the water dripped from my body back into the tub.

“And I like the sound of that.” I heard another muffled curse followed by a long pause before he said, “Hey…can you do something for me tonight?”

Curious, I immediately said, “Of course, Edward. What is it?”

He cleared his throat quietly, and that seductive, melodic voice was back when he said, “When you go to bed tonight…will you touch yourself…and think of me? Because I will be thinking of you.”

It’s a wonder I didn’t drop the phone into the tub. As it was, I emitted a quiet, embarrassing gasp as I stepped over the edge. Edward sometimes liked to talk dirty when we were together, but this was…new. Different. And fucking hot. My own voice betrayed my arousal when I said, “Oh, I will definitely be thinking of you…”

I heard his smile when he said, “Perfect.” He took a deep breath, his voice losing that bedroom quality. “I’ll be looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Sleep well, Bella.”

“You, too…good night, Edward.” I pressed the button to end the call, my eyes wide as I glanced at myself in the mirror.

Well, that sure as hell went better than it could have.

Ridiculously for a woman who was participating in polyamorous trysts regularly, I was blushing at the thought of masturbating…and knowing Edward would be, too.

“Fuck me,” I whispered aloud, breaking into a grin as I reached for my towel. I left the phone on the counter as I dried quickly and then pulled on my robe. The face I saw in the mirror was vastly different from the one I’d seen before I climbed into my bath. That Bella had been nervous and anxious, her face drawn and her forehead wrinkled…the Bella I saw now was smiling with excitement shining in her eyes.

Amazing what a difference once phone call from Edward could make.

I let my hair down, brushing it before I pulled it back up into a messy bun, this time near the base of my neck. As I picked up my phone again and headed toward my living room, I sighed, realizing I really needed to check Jessica’s text. Once I’d pressed all the necessary buttons, I found an uncharacteristically grammatically correct message from her.

Alright, Bella. You’ve been dodging me for weeks now. I’m worried. If I don’t hear from you by 8:00 tonight, I’m coming over.

Glancing at the clock, I saw it was 7:33.

Fuck!

Jessica was not the type to make idle threats about things like that. If I didn’t talk to her soon, she would be pounding on my door in half an hour – and she’d be nearly impossible to get rid of.

My fingers moved quickly, finding Jessica’s name in my phonebook. As I brought the phone to my ear, I shivered, feeling the chill in my apartment for the first time.

Really shouldn’t have let the water get cold while I sat in the damn bath tub.

I’d been too enthralled with talking to Edward to notice the cold, but a few chills were a small price to pay. I walked toward my kitchen, deciding on a glass of wine to help warm me from the inside out, and I’d barely taken two steps before the click told me someone had answered the phone.

“Well, it’s about damn time!” Jessica’s voice was a worried grumble.

“Hi, Jess.”

“Hi, Jess?” She was practically screeching. “That’s all you can say after weeks of avoiding me?”

Normally when she got this way, I’d either tune her out or make up some excuse to cut the conversation short. She had a flair for the dramatic, and most of the time she was completely off-base. This time, though, I knew she was absolutely right. I had been avoiding her, and it was because something big had happened to me.

I just wasn’t ready to tell her what, exactly.

So, instead, I listened, repressing my sighs while she got all the bitching out of her system. When she was met with no resistance – not even the smallest sound – she eventually tapered off.

“So what the hell is going on with you, Bella? You’re being weird. You’re never the first one to leave Breeze and now you have for, like, three weeks?” She gave a quiet gasp.

Here it comes, I thought.

Her voice had risen in both pitch and volume when she spoke again. “Oh my god! You met someone, didn’t you? Who is he? What’s he do?” She continued her stream of questions before she suddenly squealed. “Are you sleeping with him?”

“Jess, calm down…” My exasperation seeped into my tone, and I was frustrated with myself because I couldn’t tell what, exactly, was pissing me off. She always irritated me when she was a gossip like this, but I didn’t think that was it. I did know that, for the first time ever, I was bothered by Jessica’s assumption that the person I met was a man. I was even more bothered, though, that I was going to just let her keep on believing that.

Once I was sure she was going to listen quietly, I started explaining. “Yeah, I met…someone.” The lie of omission upset me more with Jessica than it had with Mike. “I haven’t said anything because…well…because it’s just so new, you know? I don’t want to jinx it.”

Jessica launched immediately into a series of too-personal questions that I did my best to dodge. I was fairly non-committal when I did answer, but it seemed to satisfy her. She finally let me go with a promise that she would “take my secret to the grave,” which probably meant she was calling Ang as soon as she hung up with me.

As I pressed the button to end the call, I sighed, shaking my head and dropping my phone into my pocket. Just as quickly as Edward had improved my mood, Jessica had sent me spiraling back toward depression.

I went to take another sip of my wine, but there was nothing in the glass. Apparently Jessica was not only depressing me, she was driving me to drink. With a small smile, I poured another glass and walked into the living room, settling into the chaise lounge and turning on the lamp as I pulled my book into my lap. I wasn’t in the mindset to write, but I hoped that maybe reading would keep me occupied until it was acceptable to go to bed.

I bit my bottom lip, squirming as a real smile spread across my face at the thought of what I’d be doing when I did go to bed. I indulged myself for a moment, reclining and letting my head rest against the arm of the chair as I felt the ghost of Edward’s hands sliding up my thighs. I pictured the way he sometimes teased me, wearing a playful smirk and kissing just at the corner of my mouth as his fingertips barely brushed that sensitive junction between my thighs, not quite touching me. I imagined that throaty chuckle he gave when I became too impatient and lifted my hips, forcing the contact. He always attacked then, his kisses searing as his fingers finally connected with the place I needed them most.

My knees were pressed together as my hips moved slowly, and I opened my eyes, shaking myself lightly. Fuck. The things the mere memory of that man could do to me…

Clearing my throat and feeling the flush climbing my neck, I sat up a little straighter and took a breath. I placed my fingers at my bookmark and opened, finding the last passage I’d read. I turned the page to see, Once a bitch, always a bitch, what I say. I says you’re lucky if her playing out of school is all…

Grimacing, I tossed the book back onto the coffee table and reached back, pulling my hair down out of its bun. I could tell right away that Jason Compson had no hope of holding my attention tonight. Running my fingers through my hair, I sighed and tried to figure out what in the world suddenly had me so melancholy. I mean, yes, Jessica had been her usual nosy self – but that’s just it. She was always nosy. It usually didn’t bother me.

I looked down, holding a lock of my hair between my forefinger and thumb as I idly checked for split ends and, for some reason, it hit me then.

“Rose,” I said aloud.

With a smile blooming on my face, I pulled my phone from my pocket and quickly dialed her. I didn’t feel right about the way I’d essentially dismissed her as unimportant when talking to Jessica – no matter that I didn’t really feel that way. That, combined with the fascinating conversation I’d had with Edward earlier made me want to talk to the other person who had turned my life into something amazing.

“Bella?” she answered, sounding surprised.

My mood immediately improved, just hearing the happiness in her voice. “Hi, Rose…”

“Well, this is a nice surprise! At least…” she paused. “I think it is. Everything’s okay, right?”

“Oh. Yeah, everything’s fine. I just…missed you…” I blushed lightly as I admitted it, realizing at once just how true it was. Everything had changed so much for me so quickly that sometimes it felt like I was truly myself only when I was with Rose and Edward. Everywhere else, I was pretending, playing at being the old Bella.

I could hear the soft smile in her voice as she said, “I’ve missed you too, Bella…” I heard the rustle of fabric as she shifted. “So how have you been? Is that vile Mike Newton still checking up on your proper use of homophones?”

I laughed, and we fell into easy conversation about our work weeks. I insisted there wasn’t much to tell on my end – and, really, there wasn’t. There were only so many ways I could lament being forced to edit sophomoric articles while longing to write my own, so we quickly moved away from me. Rosalie had closed on a property she’d been showing for just a little longer than we’d been seeing each other. The same couple kept asking to see it, falling in love with it, and then deciding it was out of their price range. A second buyer had made an offer, forcing them to finally make a decision.

The relief in her voice was evident, and I found myself smiling at the lighthearted sound of her laughter when she said, “At least I won’t have to show her the exact measurements of the pantry again.” When I paused to take a sip of my wine, Rosalie became playfully petulant. “I’m tired of talking about work. Let’s talk about something else.”

“Like what?” I asked, amused.

“Hmm…” I heard the sound of something crunching on the other end of the phone.

Before she could continue, I said, “What was that? Are you eating?”

She laughed softly. “Yes…carrots.”

“That sounds…delicious?” I teased, moving so that I was leaning against the arm of the lounge while my legs were stretched out in front of me.

Her laughter grew into that seductive sound of true amusement that I loved to hear before she spoke again. “I always hated them, actually. But then when Edward and I went to Ireland, we were stuck in this little farmhouse bed and breakfast for a week longer than we planned to be…”

She continued on as I listened, fascinated, to this bit of their history I hadn’t known. They’d mentioned travel before, but I had never really considered it – it was always abstract, some fact I “knew” but didn’t really understand. With her telling the story, I could see it all – Edward’s earnest face as he tried to convince her to try them that first day, her timid first bite with her nose wrinkled and her nostrils slightly flared. She said it had taken six days…six days for carrots to become her new favorite snack and for Edward to say he never wanted to see another carrot again.

“Why the hell were you guys eating so many carrots?” I giggled.

She explained that the family who ran the bed and breakfast were farmers who apparently had quite the carrot crop because they were everywhere at every meal – stewed, mixed with peas, baked into meat pies. Edward declared them the guerillas of the vegetable army and started picking them out of everything, trying not to offend the family as he pushed them surreptitiously around his plate.

The more she talked about their travels, the harder I found myself falling for both of them. There was something so pure and honest about their relationship that I just loved. They didn’t pull punches with each other, and I hoped that – someday soon – they would be that way with me.

“We flew home from Italy just in time for the release of that horrible abomination Silent Hill. I remember passing out on my bed, and it seemed like five minutes later, the alarm on his phone was going off. His eyes were blood-shot, and he could barely walk straight he was so tired, but he insisted that we go right then.” She laughed softly, and I could picture her shaking her head with that fond smile on her face. “He didn’t stop fussing about what a terrible movie it was for weeks afterward.”

“He likes horror movies?” I was intrigued. Subjects like this rarely came up, and I hadn’t really thought about what Edward would like to watch.

Rose made a noise of disgust. “Ugh, yes. The gorier, the better. And apparently he can’t go alone…I’ve seen enough zombies eating people to go the rest of my life without seeing another.”

From there, we talked movies and music for awhile, and I realized that we were all going a bit backwards. Usually this type of getting-to-know-you conversation happened at, say, a first date, but I was just glad we were having them now. I was thoroughly enjoying really getting to know my lovers, and I found that I liked them even more.

After awhile, she said, “Oh, do you have this month’s Cosmo?”

I swung my feet to the floor, sitting up as I reached over and shuffled through the magazines on my coffee table. Picking it up, I said, “Yup, got it right here…”

“I’m thinking about getting that hairstyle that’s on page forty-three…what do you think?”

I cradled the phone between my shoulder and my ear as I flipped through the magazine, and then I blinked incredulously when I found the page. “Black and pink spikes…that’s very…umm…punk of you?”

Her laughter was infectious as she tried to speak through it. “No, no…that’s forty-two. Check the next page…”

“Oh!” I laughed and looked on the next page, where I found a stunning blond woman with lighter highlights. Her hair curled softly, framing her face, and I could just picture it on Rosalie. “Oh wow, Rose…” I breathed. “That’s gorgeous! You should definitely do it!”

The rest of our conversation was filled with light-hearted chatter about hairstyles and make-up. She told me she’d found a nail polish she wanted me to try and that she’d bring it over tomorrow night. At the mention of our typical Friday night meeting, my stomach clenched in anticipation. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the two of them.

Rose gave a soft yawn and lowered her voice as she said, “Sadly, I think I better get some rest…you wouldn’t want me falling asleep on you tomorrow night, would you?”

“I absolutely want you to fall asleep on me tomorrow night…only it’ll be after I make sure you’re completely satisfied,” I teased.

“Mmm…” I loved her sultry little noises of contentment. “I’ll be looking counting on that…you get some sleep too now, Bella. Promise?”

“I will,” I said solemnly and then remembered what I’d promised Edward I’d do as well. I could tell she was fading fast, so I whispered my goodbye, and then we hung up. I bit my bottom lip, shaking my head as my eyes widened. I didn’t know what I’d done to be so lucky as to get both of them, but damn, I was one lucky bitch.

I made short work of straightening my apartment and making sure the lights were out. When I crawled into bed, it was just after 9:00, but I was exhausted after my long, stressful day.

Still, that didn’t stop my hand from trailing lightly up my thigh, fingertips ghosting but not really touching as I imagined that hand was Edward’s. His mouth was at my ear, nibbling and kissing as he teased me. I wondered if he was doing the same at that exact moment, and I truly hoped he was. I couldn’t imagine what he would be fantasizing about, but I had little doubt as to who as his voice came back to me…

“I will be thinking of you.”

Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 5